Trapped in a relationship

[divinechaos]

I had a miscarriage when I was 16. It scarred me for life. I was so traumatized that I convinced myself that I just couldn't get pregnant, so that is what I told every guy I was with..in some sick psychotic way I really honestly believed it.

After having sex with a handful of guys for years unprotected and never getting pregnant I met the father of my beautiful baby girl. We had sex for months and nothing happened and then the day he was trying to break it off with me I get pregnant.... Crazy huh?

Well neither of us believe in abortion so well we had the baby...

I thought I loved him and well I do because he is the father of my child but things between us just don't work. We used to fight all the time, now we really just don't talk. We don't sleep in the same bed. We never, never have sex even though I'm on birth control (I have an IUC). He's not attracted to me what so ever because I gained 40lbs.. He tells me if you don't have personality you have to have looks and I have neither.. We don't have much in common, there is a 17 year age gap.

We would go our separate ways but we just don't know what to do.

We don't want our daughter to grow up without her mother and father, but we also don't want her growing up with this relationship as her example as how a man and a woman should be together

I just don't know what to do. Can anyone help me???

Also his side of the story is in a reply on the first page of replies...

[misombra]

i vote for you to keep your legs closed.

stay with the guy and keep both of yourselves out of the dating market.

[ransom_nite]

[QUOTE=misombra;391450]i vote for you to keep your legs closed.QUOTE]

amen

[divinechaos]

[quote=ransom_nite;391469]

i vote for you to keep your legs closed.QUOTE]

amen

I'm on birth control (which is stated above) so what's keeping my legs closed gonna do? You both sound/look stupid as hell now...thanks for the lousy advice assholes...

[Junket]

I don't know why you guys propose they stay together. I say she run for it. And whomever is more responsible should get the child.

Do you work?

[divinechaos]

I don't know why you guys propose they stay together. I say she run for it. And whomever is more responsible should get the child.

Do you work?

I'm looking for a job...the economy and job market isn't that great in Michigan though. But Madisyn would come with me either way I couldn't live without her.

[Junket]

Well you say you can't live without her, but I don't know how you could support the both of you if you don't have a steady income.

I would work on a job first before you do anything. Don't try to get away with living off of child support either. There's nothing I hate more than women who sit at home poppin' out babies and collecting the checks every month. Don't be that.

[divinechaos]

No the one thing I have discussed with him is that I wouldn't leave until I am making good money....He's not asking me to leave nor is he asking me not to...I'm just trying to figure out the relationship part....then I'll do the leaving part.

[IndiReloaded]

He tells me if you don't have personality you have to have looks and I have neither.. We don't have much in common, there is a 17 year age gap.

Wow, he sounds like a great guy.

I assume, given the age gap, that this guy is employed? Even married, perhaps?

You are a baby having a baby. Do NOT sleep with this guy, or any other until you get your life sorted out. Get a job asap. If you don't you run the *serious* risk of losing your child to this man.

Fun's over. Time to grow up baby.

[TheGreek]

Don't come here asking for advice and then be a ****ing bitch when we don't tell you what you want to hear.

[divinechaos]

Don't come here asking for advice and then be a ****ing bitch when we don't tell you what you want to hear.

I wasn't being a bitch...it was a stupid comment so I let them know

[divinechaos]

Wow, he sounds like a great guy.

I assume, given the age gap, that this guy is employed? Even married, perhaps?

You are a baby having a baby. Do NOT sleep with this guy, or any other until you get your life sorted out. Get a job asap. If you don't you run the *serious* risk of losing your child to this man.

Fun's over. Time to grow up baby.

No he has never been married...and he does have a job but wouldn't ever take her away...he would rather live with me and put up with me then do that...

[bluesummer]

Yikes, this relationship sounds over to me. I think it would be healthier for your daughter not to grow up in an environment where her parents have almost no reagrd for each other....it sets her up for poor expectations in relationships in the future. She can still have both of her parents in her life, but they don't have to be under the same roof.

Start making a plan to separate. Look for work. Make sure he intends to help support his child.

[profchaos71]

The other side of the story is that before she got pregnant we didnt really have a relationship. I entered into this relationship because i wanted to do the right thing and i didnt want to end up in the family court system again.I found out after the fact that she intentionally lied about not being able to have children.I have tried to stick it out because i love my daughter but it has become more and more obvious to me that what we have isnt based on a love of each other first and foremost.What i mean by that whole personality thing is that in my opinion most people are either with someone they are attracted to mentally first,and then physically.Some people may not like someone as much mentally,but find that person irresistable looks wise.In my case,the mental attraction or connection just isnt there,and i've never been that physically attracted to her,something i've been honest about before she even got pregnant. Alot of men wouldnt even have tried this hard to make things right.I do not like the person i have become,i dont like the way i treat her and i dont like whats happening to my life in general.Before all of this i had a plan for my life and goals i wanted to achieve and all that has changed.I know i can be a great father to my daughter and i wanted to be a good husband for my daughters sake but now i am unconvinced that staying together for a child is such a good thing

[bluesummer]

Right, so like I said.....go your separate ways. You both have obviously come to terms that this relationship is not working and is not going to.

Your child should be your number one concern.