She says she likes me, but is she just playing me? [long for detail's sake]

[Vatermeister]

SORRY FOR THE BAD FORMAT, I ACTUALLY HAD THIS WRITTEN OUT ON A DIFFERENT WEBSITE AND THE PARAGRAPH SEPERATION WAS FINE, BUT WHEN I COPIED AND PASTED, IT GOT DISTORTED. I DON'T REALLY HAVE THE PATIENCE TO RE-EDIT THIS IN AN HTML TEXT BOX RIGHT NOW.

Hey people, I'm in a little squeeze here. There's this girl (young woman) whom I have just fallen in love
with over the past several months. She had a baby back in July with my friend
, but she really hurt him bad (cheating and what not, several times over several months) so he broke up with her (he let her walk all over him). I originally disliked her because of that stuff, but she started hanging out with us again. It started when she, her ex (my friend too), my ex (then my girlfriend, our relationship was failing and I was just holding off on breaking up) and another friend drove to Huntington Beach, CA, for a nice summer weekend.
We had brought with us a fifth of Vodka, and it was going to be only her second time drinking. I also got her to smoke for the first time (she only let me shotgun to her). Well, the others went off and did their own thing and it was just me, her, and her ex. We drank the whole thing without them and it hit us harder and faster than we had anticipated, so for some reason we "walked" (stumbled) our way to the beach. Then the tide started rising and we had to "crawl" away from the water. (it was so hard to stand up LOL) I ended up carrying her back to the car even though I could hardly walk myself, and her ex walked somewhere, idk where. Then we just started making out, for a good 15 - 20 minutes straight. A little feeling up too, but I'm somewhat of a gentleman, even when I'm drunk.
Still with me? I'm so sorry for my bad compression skills. Anyways. The next day I asked her about it and appologized and she said she didn't mind and that she had fun. I found out that she had even told a couple of her friends. Well, I started feeling something towards her but I didn't even know I liked her yet, I had my own relationship problems then.
Then towards the end of September, we got drunk again together and we made out and were just all over each other in front of her ex and some more friends...One thing I should tell you, she still isn't over him.....I drove her home and I told her I would walk back home and she gave me one more loooooonng good night kiss...and another hickie. I got about 100 yards from her house, convinced myself that I was lost, and went back to her house and asked if I could spend the night their, and I did. Next morning she let me sleep in and even made me breakfast. I was in denial then, I kept telling myself that I didn't like her.
Later that day my friend, her ex, let me know that he approved and even welcomed the idea of her dating me, saying that it would help to get her to let go of him. (she still loves him). I told him I didn't have feelings for her though, I was lying to him and myself. After about a week though, she completely took over my thoughts, we do more hanging out than I've let you know so far so I knew I had fallen in love, I gave in.
A couple weeks ago, I don't know why, but I spent almost an entire week at her house, helping out and such. We flirted so much those days, we even built a ginger bread house and took pictures of our ensuing frosting fight. I really started to bond with her son and he even smiles at me more than anyone except her, lol, I taught him to stick his tongue out at ppl. Now it's like I love him as if he were my own. I went with her and her Grandma to Ontario for 3 days to meet some family and friends. (she grew up there). I guess it was the way we looked and acted together and helped each other with the baby, but everybody thought I was the father and that we were together (some thought we were married) and she didn't correct them, which flattered me, A LOT. God, I'm welling up tears just writing this.
The last night we stayed there, and after watching some mindless Adult Swim shows on the bed together, I told her that I liked her a great deal. She smiled and told me she liked me too. And I'm not sure who started first, but we just started kissing so passionately. Just holding each other and kissing and tickling for the entire night. I told her things and experienced feelings that I had never had with anyone else, ever. She told me I was the only one who had told her she was beautiful or even made her happy since before she had the baby. The next morning I was just so freaking happy.
The next morning we went to visit her old friend whom she hadn't seen in 5 years, and it was evident they had some romantic history, but 5 YEARS, COME ON!!! But the way she introduced me to him was far from flattering..."This is my friend who sometimes helps with the baby." And she was all over him, snuggling and stuff, no kissing though. God I wanted to kill someone. I took her friend to the side and let him know the situation. "Look, I love this girl, and I don't know what you two may have had in the past, but you're engaged and live in Arizona now, and..." He stopped me and told me he could tell there was something between me and her and that he would step aside. He did still have feelings for her, but he knew he couldn't be with her anymore. Me and him actually talked for hours after that and we're pretty good friends now. He says he's glad that he has somebody like me to look out for her since, no offense to my friend, but I'm much more of a man than her ex is. He lets people, including her, walk all over him, I don't and I won't let anyone do that to her.
Now here's the problem, she made me feel hung out to dry that day, when she was doing everything you can do before you kiss each other with him. Also, she tells me that she does like me, but she's not over her ex yet, and she's not ready for a new relationship yet. I told her that I would wait for her because I love her, and I don't recall a defined response to that. Also, I think my psycho ex helped to scare her off too. She was so mad when she found out that I started liking this girl.
Some more info...I talked to her best friend, whom I'm also good friends with (she entrusts things with me and confides things in me too), and she told me that she does and doesn't like me, she just hasn't liked anybody new in over 3 years and adding me into her feelings has thrown her off balance...confused her. She told me that I really should talk to her about our would-be relationship, but to wait a while longer though, because she's going through some tough times herself right now.
I love her so much, I wish her baby was mine. She's on my mind all the time. Since Ontario, she hasn't really talked to me, I've reverted to sending her emails on Myspace, which she only reads and doesn't reply (I don't write her anymore though, in case she wants space). I talked to her tonight and asked if we could start hanging out some more and she said she'd like that, so I'm just unsure of where to go from here. Is she just playing me, or does she just not want to hurt my feelings? OR WHAT!? Or does she like me? Am I doing the right thing by waiting for her?

[Reaper33]

Meh, I generally distrust cheaters on all fronts. Maybe you do like her (I won't go as far as 'love' yet), but I don't see her feeling the same. Hell, you guys had a few hot makeout sessions without her being in a relationship with you. And then, when asked, she doesn't want to? I think you guys had some fun, but to her, it was 'no strings attached' fun. THAT'S why, in my opinion, she won't date you; that way, there's no connection. Go ahead, talk some more, be friends, but I'd be careful.

P.S. I don't get people who cheat, then claim that they aren't over the person they cheated on. It's confusing :S

[Bambi_08]

She sounds young and is just going with whatever makes her feel good at the moment. She is still finding herself. Investing into her for a relationship is a risk I would not take unless you are prepared for a very bumpy road.....

[Vatermeister]

I guess it makes sense. My mind is leaning towards what you are saying, but my heart doesn't want to let her go. This stinks. There are a few girls who do like me now and there's one that I think could work, but i'm too attached to the above mentioned girl right now. I know I should probably work to pry my heart away from her.

[doppelgaenger]

Wer kann das schon?

[misombra]

disgrace to womankind, she is.

[Vatermeister]

Wer kann das schon?

Ich weiss nicht. Ich will nur gut wieder fuhlen.

[doppelgaenger]

Deshalb vergesst dieses Mädchen; gibt's leider keine Hoffnung für euch. Sie will noch ihren exfreund und das bedeutet, dass sie eine Törin ist. Na was für eine Überraschung, hä?

Und willst du eigentlich ein Stiefkind?

[Vain]

I also agree that there does not seem to be much hope until she is over her ex and can commit to you. And I know you are willing to wait, but lets say a year passes, she decides no it is not working, everybody would lose, including the kid.

[Vatermeister]

Ja, sind Sie korrekt. Ich muss an jetzt umziehen und moglicherweise noch einmal zukunftig versuchen. Mien Deutsch ist sehr schwach, und ich verwende Hilfe von einem Ubersetzer, aber ich versuch, uber meine deutsche Vorfahrhaube zu erlernen. Ich gehe mit einem Freund nach Graz, Osterreich, dieser Sommer.

Anyways, you all have helped me reach somewhat of a decision. I'm going to wait a little longer like her friend told me to do, then I'm going to have another evening when I lay it all out on the table before her. If she denies me then, then I guess we'll still be friends, and I can move on, if she doesn't, then I guess I'll be the happiest guy on earth. Oh, and I almost forgot, in response to doppelgaenger, I would be proud to call her son my own. I'm not necessarily looking for stepchildren, but I love [everything] about her, the whole package, including her child. Ha, her family and friends from her hometown seemed to really approve of the idea. (parents tend to like me)

[Vain]

That is good that you have reached a decision. I hope it works out for you. I have always wanted to go to Eastern Europe, I am very envious of you.

[Vatermeister]

Thanks a lot, and I hope you and Ashley[?] can learn to become just friends again. And you know what they say, if you love something, let it go, if it were meant to be, she'll come back. I hope you're feeling alright. I tried to be 'just friends' with my ex, and she is getting jealous and even more hurt by everything I do (with other women). She is making my life a living hell, turning friends against me, threatening me and my love. Sometimes you just can't get the space you need. We are completely broken up so there's no excuse.

[doppelgaenger]

Ja, sind Sie korrekt. Ich muss an jetzt umziehen und moglicherweise noch einmal zukunftig versuchen. Mien Deutsch ist sehr schwach, und ich verwende Hilfe von einem Ubersetzer, aber ich versuch, uber meine deutsche Vorfahrhaube zu erlernen. Ich gehe mit einem Freund nach Graz, Osterreich, dieser Sommer.

Anyways, you all have helped me reach somewhat of a decision. I'm going to wait a little longer like her friend told me to do, then I'm going to have another evening when I lay it all out on the table before her. If she denies me then, then I guess we'll still be friends, and I can move on, if she doesn't, then I guess I'll be the happiest guy on earth. Oh, and I almost forgot, in response to doppelgaenger, I would be proud to call her son my own. I'm not necessarily looking for stepchildren, but I love [everything] about her, the whole package, including her child. Ha, her family and friends from her hometown seemed to really approve of the idea. (parents tend to like me)

Toll! Entschuldige, ich habe es nicht gewußt, ob du deutscher warst. Bist du eigentlich ein Vatermeister? Was mit dieser Name? Und meinst du, dass du deine Vorfahren kennenzulernen? Und sie leben in Österreich? Na was für eine Reise! Ich studiere im nächsten Jahr an der Friedrich Schiller in Deutschland. Das liegt auf dem Thüringen Naja es ist doch nett, ein deutschsprachiger Kumpel zu reden!

I honestly think this girl is probably not relationship material. The way she handled this situation shows how immature she is. Then again, if you didn't realize this, you should follow your heart through, and muster whatever wisdom you can from this relationship. Don't give your hopes up though!

[Vatermeister]

Toll! Entschuldige, ich habe es nicht gewußt, ob du deutscher warst. Bist du eigentlich ein Vatermeister? Was mit dieser Name? Und meinst du, dass du deine Vorfahren kennenzulernen? Und sie leben in Österreich? Na was für eine Reise! Ich studiere im nächsten Jahr an der Friedrich Schiller in Deutschland. Das liegt auf dem Thüringen Naja es ist doch nett, ein deutschsprachiger Kumpel zu reden!

I honestly think this girl is probably not relationship material. The way she handled this situation shows how immature she is. Then again, if you didn't realize this, you should follow your heart through, and muster whatever wisdom you can from this relationship. Don't give your hopes up though!

Ich bin wirklich deutsch [Mutter - Hoyt] und Scottish [Vater - Curry]. Mein Name ist Vatermeister, weil meine Freunde mich Dad als Spitzname (Vater) nennen, und das " Meister" kommt von meinem alten Amerika's-Armeecomputerspielname [Cratemaster]. Es ist gerade dumm.
Und ich mag gerade zu mich betrachte deutscher als Scottish oder sogar Amerikaner. Niemand in meinem Familienleben in Deutschland oder in Österreich mehr, aber ich dachten gerade, dass dort zu bleiben würde sein nett, für Wochen 6+ mit meinem besten Freund.
Hochschulblicke Friedrich-Schiller sehr prestigevoll. Glückwünsche! Es ist durchaus eine lange Fahrt von Graz, aber ich versuche, einen Besuch dort zu bilden; es schaut nett. Rauchen Sie Hookah?

Thank you, I'd like to think she is relationship material, but I am trying to be cautious here. I'm not giving up hope just yet. And yes, what better wisdom than wisdom you've earned yourself. I don't want to make mistakes, but if waiting another month might be a mistake, it is well worth it for her.

[doppelgaenger]

Ach so. Ich habe bei dir "Hochschulblicke" nicht verstanden, es ist aber nichts Wichtiges. Vielleicht können wir mal sehen, ich werde dann aber zu viel beschäftigt sein. Und ich rauche übrigens gar nicht.

Glück auf dieses Mädchen!