I want to make a move but I'm not quite sure

[TG 12X35]

Ok I will try and be very brief about this. I'm 19 shes 18 we're both in our first year of college. Known her for years, but have developed a growing crush on her during the past four months. I go to college at home and she lives at her college which is only 25-30 min away. Now during the school year I only see her on weekends, but during the summer it was about every day. I'm not entirely sure if she has feelings for me or not. I'm getting sick of obsessing over her and my obsession has only increased. I want to get it over with and either be with her or without her and moving on. I've decided that when I see her this next weekend I want to make my move on her, but I have no idea how to do this. In a very short sense, how should I make a move on her without coming off as too forward? By making a move I pretty much mean anything that would establish that we are more than friends. So I mean it very generally such as a kiss, strong hinting, or anything else. I also understand that if she doesn't see me as more than a friend then just about whatever I do may seem too forward, but I feel I will have to go through with it and live with the results regardless. Please feel free to critique my writing as this is my first post here and I apologize if I wasn't quite clear or just plain vague. Just please tell me what I did wrong and I will make corrections. Thank you

[Cbrider]

I'm not completely sure what to tell you, it feels like theres something missing I want to know first, but i can't put my finger on it. Whats your guys past like?

[TG 12X35]

Ok since you asked for it. We have been in the same school together since 3rd grade, but we didn't become close until midway through sophomore year. Starting sophomore year we didn't go to the same school anymore because I decided to switch to another school for various reasons. We were good friends from the middle of sophomore year until the middle of junior year. Our friendship ended mainly because of my expressed interest in doing drugs and her strong disapproval of it. I have also later heard from various people that right before I ran my mouth about this stuff she was really starting to like me and wanted to initiate something. Throughout the next year we rarely talked and we seemed to hate each other. Any time she saw me with any weed paraphanalia (sp?) or booze she just gave me glaring looks and we never talked and only saw each other when I stopped over to hang out with her younger brother that I am friends with. This went on until midway through Senior year when just me and her ended up hanging out at her house when her brother ended up ditching me to go into another room to talk to his girlfriend for hours about their issues. We just talked about what we had been up to and when I responded truthfully about what I had done (a lot of weed) she didn't respond so negatively. She also told me about her boyfriend that she had been with for the past year and recently broken up with. From that point on we hung out increasingly and my habits didn't change at all really, but her approval of them changed drastically. She used to get angry at just seeing me high, but for my birthday she offered to drive me and my friends to a local amusement park and let us all smoke in her car. She is no longer the least bit bothered about my habits at all.

On another note. She had a short stint with one of my best friends during the mid summer. He was really into her and they were sort of going out, but they weren't doing anything because this girl just in the end didn't want the relationship and they never did anything physical except hugging and cuddling during the month that they went out. It seemed that she only viewed my friend as a friend and couldn't do anything physically with him even though they are close also. Now she uses him as a shoulder to cry on about issues dealing with her ex boyfriend of eight months. My friend is no longer bothered by her coming to him like this, because he went far away to college and now has a girlfriend and rarely comes home.

She always seems real excited to see me and she has never once ever come off as depressed to me ever despite what my friend says about her crying on his shoulder. I also know she went through a slight depression after the breakup with her ex boyfriend, but again she has shown very little of these emotions around me.

Ever since we became close again I've felt that everything was a little bit different, because our friendship was not the same at all. My friend seemed to have taken the place of that guy friend and I felt to have a different type of connection with her that has grown steadily.

I apologize if this was a little hard to read, but I'm very tired at this hour due to my work schedule and am having some trouble concentrating right now.

[1averagejoe]

Well here's your options.

Option 1:
Tell her how you feel get it off your chest and hope she feels the same way. If she does, good. If not well, it's very likely you're going to ruin your friendship with her. It will be awkward for you both and don't be surprised if you two grow further away from each other.

Option 2:
Hold it in and ignore it. But holding it in like holding in a fart...it hurts and will just drive you crazy.

Imho I'd say go for it, better try and lose than to never try and never know. Your friendship is already compromised since you have feelings towards her.

Good luck.

[TG 12X35]

Any more suggestions? Is more information needed?

[Cbrider]

Joe pretty much laid out your options, there's no real two ways around it. Tell her or hide it...I'm with joe, holding stuff in will destroy you.

[TG 12X35]

How should I do it? Do I straight up ask? What about gradually gaining her interest instead? I've basically held back all emotions and feelings on this one and haven't actually acted on anything. My feelings have been kept pretty secret and only two of my friends know about my feelings towards this girl. Would it seem way to forward to just ask? Wouldn't that scare her? How could I gradually gain her interest?

[Vain]

Just tell her how you feel. I don't think there is really a way to gradually gain her interest more then you could have already. Its really just hit or miss on this one. I know it would suck if you lost her completely, but its worth the risk man.