Advice Needed

[Jakey]

Do women sometimes realize their mistakes they have made, when breaking up with someone who has treated her like no other man has before?

[Only-virgins]

Nah, I just think it is usually cocky idiot dudes who think they have treated their girl like no one else can....when she will find someone who will not only do the same but probably better...with more money too...and more better looking.

[ransom_nite]

yeahh in some cases they do, depends if you really did treat her like no other man has done before, if not than you make a fool outta yourself and there is someone better out there than you with more money and better looks like OV stated, simple

[vashti]

I'm going to assume your girlfriend that you treated well has dumped you, and you are hoping she will realize what a mistake she made?

It's possible, but I wouldn't sit around waiting for it to happen, my friend. I suggest you lick your wounds for a while, and then try getting back up on a different horse.

[IndiReloaded]

Nah, I just think it is usually cocky idiot dudes who think they have treated their girl like no one else can....when she will find someone who will not only do the same but probably better...with more money too...and more better looking.

'Fraid so:

[ame="http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=RRhZl-hVyDA"]YouTube - IRREPLACEABLE - Beyoncé[/ame]

[greeneyedgrl]

Depends, sometimes they do but don't realize it until later on.

[krondragon]

Same situation, but I look at it differently now. I felt like I treated my ex the best I could. She dumped me and well, it's fine by me. She even told me herself I wasn't a bad boyfriend, just not what she was looking for. You can be an overall good person, but that does not set a relationship in stone. Everyone has different wants and needs. Perhaps you just weren't what the girl was looking for even though you treated her well. Don't pin your hopes on her coming back, you can't control the situation from her end. Give your all to someone else that you will like in the future and same someone that is willing to like you for who you are and return the favor.

[Only-virgins]

The strange thing is the older I get the less I want to treat a woman well because the older I get the less special I feel as the further down I am on her boyfriend list.

[Skyfish]

I certainly do. I dated a guy who was nothing, but a gentleman to me. Unfortunately, I wasn't attracted to him and we didn't have all that much in common.

So while I realize I could have had an awesome guy, it wouldn't have worked out because personality-wise, we weren't compatible (at least in my view).

On the other hand, I have also been completely smitten with guys who are a little more clueless than average.

You learn everything in hindsight.

[IndiReloaded]

The strange thing is the older I get the less I want to treat a woman well because the older I get the less special I feel as the further down I am on her boyfriend list.

This is one of the more retarded things I've seen you post. Are you saying that the older you get the less you appreciate fine food b/c of all the burgers & fries you ate as a teenager?

You *could* view it as a positive that women were too discerning to get married early on & be flattered that you will be considered as a potential partner.

Or is this still about sex? You need to get to a counsellor about this, OV. Sex is just feel-good hormones & an orgasm. That's all there is, babe.

While I would be leery of someone who was obviously using sex as a substitute for self-esteem, I would be equally leery of a 40 year-old virgin, which would suggest other psychological issues at play. Balance & a reasonable attitude toward life is the key.

[vaneigem]

This is one of the more retarded things I've seen you post. Are you saying that the older you get the less you appreciate fine food b/c of all the burgers & fries you ate as a teenager?

You *could* view it as a positive that women were too discerning to get married early on & be flattered that you will be considered as a potential partner.

Or is this still about sex? You need to get to a counsellor about this, OV. Sex is just feel-good hormones & an orgasm. That's all there is, babe.

While I would be leery of someone who was obviously using sex as a substitute for self-esteem, I would be equally leery of a 40 year-old virgin, which would suggest other psychological issues at play. Balance & a reasonable attitude toward life is the key.

It's not that unusual really, maybe he's phrased it badly but do you really bend over backwards to please a girl you're dating as much as you would for your first ever girlfriend? Not because you're further down on her boyfriend list as such, but you both are going to see it as less of a big deal as you get older; compared to when I was 16 and would shower girls I'd dated for a couple of weeks with romantic poetry and gifts (cringe) I need to wait a lot longer to really feel an emotional bond to justify that sort of behaviour.

[vashti]

It's not that unusual really, maybe he's phrased it badly but do you really bend over backwards to please a girl you're dating as much as you would for your first ever girlfriend? Not because you're further down on her boyfriend list as such, but you both are going to see it as less of a big deal as you get older; compared to when I was 16 and would shower girls I'd dated for a couple of weeks with romantic poetry and gifts (cringe) I need to wait a lot longer to really feel an emotional bond to justify that sort of behaviour.

I think your change in behavior towards relationships reflects the normal maturing process rather than bitterness and self-pity. You learn from your first relationship that poetry and gifts are not the key to loving relationships, and so you quit using that approach to love.