I don't wanna make the same mistake twice....please help...

[hyuj]

Ok, heree's my story, I tried to make it as short as possible:

There is 1 girl that likes me, and at first I didn't really like her. Now, we both like each other, BUT the problem is that BOTH of us are VERY shy. We don't even talk at school, etc etc. however we do talk on msn/myspace/etc.

Its been 1 year and a few months now since she first liked me. Currently we just finished year 12 and therefore we cannot see each other on a daily basis anymore, and the only way of communicating is through myspace/msn and all that.

I have finaly decided to ask her out using myspace or msn first, then talk to her in person. Question is:

1. What should I begin my question to her with??? Im really confused and desperate....

2. Do I express my full feelings for her? Or is this gonna make me look and sound weak?

3. Do I have to be honest like saying "hey....its been a long time....we know we like each other...." OR " Hey (and use something new)?

4. Another thing that is really annoying is that she has so much friends that if i ask her out, her friends may or may not like it. THey may tease me, or they may support me for it...... Every time i think of asking her out, the first problem that pops up in my mind is her friends....

5. IF...if all goes well and she wants to go out with me, and iwanan hold her hands, how should ido it? do i just , all of a sudden, grab her hand while walking?

Please everyone, I am relying so much on you all..... T_T I dont even know what to say to her on myspace to start this whole thing out....



Ok someone tell me if this is the process in this whole "going out" thing:

I ask her
she says yes
we go out to a place
We talk about...what???? just to know each other more?



Do I have to ask her out on myspace or msn and say thigns like" Hey do you wanna go out to (insert place name here, a shopping center, etc.) ???" or does that sound like im to desperate?

Please, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea how to do this, i have always been a shy person. But it happened once before so i just dont wanna repeat the same mistake twice... so thats y i decided to ask her first..

ANY, i repeat, ANY advice/help greatly appreciated.



Thank you....

[Cbrider]

You have no reason to ever care what her friends or your friends might think or say. This is about YOU, no one else. Its easy to choke and feel really nervous about these things, its normal.

Personally I'm a face to face person, I didn't use to be but things change. When I was your age I did the whole AIM/myspace thing because its easier than face to face. Go ahead and ask her to go out and do something, you don't have to tell her its because you like her or because you want to date her or whatever. Your simply asking her if she would like to go do something with you.

Like I said before its easy to get nervous and worried, but confidence is an important quality to radiate not only in this particular case, but life in general. Stand up and be proud of yourself, go ask her out.

[hyuj]

You have no reason to ever care what her friends or your friends might think or say. This is about YOU, no one else. Its easy to choke and feel really nervous about these things, its normal.

Personally I'm a face to face person, I didn't use to be but things change. When I was your age I did the whole AIM/myspace thing because its easier than face to face. Go ahead and ask her to go out and do something, you don't have to tell her its because you like her or because you want to date her or whatever. Your simply asking her if she would like to go do something with you.

Like I said before its easy to get nervous and worried, but confidence is an important quality to radiate not only in this particular case, but life in general. Stand up and be proud of yourself, go ask her out.

Thanks so much for first reply..

Thats exactly right, I need to ask her, but like i mentioned before, I cannot see her anymore as school just finished, which is why i need to ask her on myspace or msn... = (

which converstation is better:

Hey (name) wanna go out?

OR

Hey (name) bla bla bla bla bla , ......I dont know what to say......help me with a good starting line... = (

thanks one more time for helping and reading this

[Cbrider]

Hey (name), I really enjoy spending time with you/talking to you. I was wondering if you would like to go see a movie with me/go the the mall with me.

Your over thinking this man, if she likes you she will appreciate you asking her to do something with you. Women love knowing someone is thinking about them.

Edit: Don't say "hey (name) wanna go out with me" that is a little too aggressive right off the bat. If she likes you then don't worry about it, things will fall into place with time and theres no reason to dive into anything because it adds stress to the playing field.

[hyuj]

Hey (name), I really enjoy spending time with you/talking to you. I was wondering if you would like to go see a movie with me/go the the mall with me.

Your over thinking this man, if she likes you she will appreciate you asking her to do something with you. Women love knowing someone is thinking about them.

Edit: Don't say "hey (name) wanna go out with me" that is a little too aggressive right off the bat. If she likes you then don't worry about it, things will fall into place with time and theres no reason to dive into anything because it adds stress to the playing field.

THanks so much man, such a good support.

Any other way of saying it? First one is very good but...it soudns a bit too polite...i just want it to be friendly, etc. like in a friendly way, not that polite.

Btw also i dont think i have ever talked to her at school...so u might wanna change the conversatin a bit.

Thanks man!!!

[Cbrider]

Its a little strange you haven't talked in person, but no worries. If you want to be more casual about it just say :

Hey (name), we always talk online, lets go do something other than chat.

If you say it like that you sound enthusiastic about it and without telling her directly you are letting her know you are interested in her.

[blackzj52]

just be casual and say something like, "hey, it seems like we get along great with each other, wanna go out sometime?"
or something simple/casual like that

[Only-virgins]

She has a myspace? Why not just look and see what music she likes..the next time a concert happens or something along the lines of her taste let her know you have an extra ticket and ask for her company?

[Cbrider]

She has a myspace? Why not just look and see what music she likes..the next time a concert happens or something along the lines of her taste let her know you have an extra ticket and ask for her company?

Half life here is brilliant. Listen to this guy.

[hyuj]

oh my God I cannot thank you all enough for helping me even tho its just the beginning. Once again, thanks heaps!!!

Ok...I just commented her on myspace and she replied, so all is good at the moment.

Another question, when we become gf and bf, IF she asks me " Why didnt u talk to me at skool" , should I be honest and say " Well, ur girl friends are the reason, they make me feel nervous" OR should i say ....what lol i have no idea.

Thanks for help so far have been excellent and helpful ppl.

EDIT: one of the hardest parts will be asking her to go on msn from myspace. ANy ideas how to make this easier? I DONT wanna comment her lol all her friends will be able to see. I want to send a message saying if she can go on msn or not, THEN from msn ill talk to her. ANy ideas?

[ransom_nite]

oh my God I cannot thank you all enough for helping me even tho its just the beginning. Once again, thanks heaps!!!

Ok...I just commented her on myspace and she replied, so all is good at the moment.

Another question, when we become gf and bf, IF she asks me " Why didnt u talk to me at skool" , should I be honest and say " Well, ur girl friends are the reason, they make me feel nervous" OR should i say ....what lol i have no idea.

Thanks for help so far have been excellent and helpful ppl

be honest because you guys are starting a relationship and honesty is key ingredient to making it work/last. just be honest and say her friends made you feel nervous etc

[Only-virgins]

I agree but use the word uncomfortable and not nervous.

[hyuj]

Cheers all, thanks heaps!!!

Ok i think im gonna say it like this, tell me if its ok or not, please dont "lol" me, i just wanna show u ppl what im gonna say:


" Hey (name), we always talk online, how about we go out and have a chat to get to know each other more? When and where do u wanna go? Ok, hope to see you there, (name) = )"

Is that fine?

[hyuj]

Ah, I apologize for this second post.

I think this is my last 4 questiosn before asking her out!!!, they are:

1. Should I ask her on msn by sending a myspace message to her to come on msn ( which may sound weird) or just give her a message on myspace?

2. Is this what i should say: " Hey (name) we always talk online, wanna go out and have a chat so we can know each other more? What days are you busy?"

question is, should i ask if she is busy or not, because as far as i know, she goes out with her friends quite often.

3. Those people who have lots of experience, what is this like, being gf and bf? do we have to go out every single day? or just when we feel like it? Isnt going out meant to be spending time with them as often as possible?

Thank you so much, wish me luck!!! Im gonna ask her today if not tomorow.

IF i have anymore questiosn i will ask you guys, thanks!!

[Cbrider]

Ask her on MSN, its better to be present when your going to ask.

If she wants to go she will make time to go, I wouldn't worry too much about her plans unless your asking her to go like the next day.

Being a couple should feel easy in a way. you shouldn't feel like you have to do this or that all the time or always be together. you will find you want your space apart from time to time...its completely normal. if it gets to the point of an official "thing" you will know how to act. Its kind of hard to explain, I'm sure someone else can do better than I.