Relationship with former student

[AshleyC]

My name is Ashley, i am new here. I teach english in high school for 12 years now, i am 37 years old divorced, and One month ago I ran into a former student at the grocery store and him and I got to talking, we started seeing each other by going on dates, he is very sweet, caring, and has a great sense of humor, we have slept together a few times and he is 19 years old. Him and I have strong feelings for each other, he has also met my family and friends last weekend they do like him but they have concerns about our relationship about age and him being my former student, Are they right? Am I wrong to think its gonna go somewhere?, because of age differences and him being my former student?

[Charlie Boy II]

yes you are wrong in thinking it's going to go somewhere. Where could it go? Marriage? Kids? But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it for a few months or something.

[ecojeanne]

he's 19, i know if my brother was 19 and dating a 37yr old i would tell him to have his fun but break it off immediately. he is too young to be getting into any serious relationship. its not coz of your age necessarily it just coz you want this relationship to go somewhere thats not healthy for him. he needs to explore. i think for your own sake you need to find someone who will be on the same level intellectually and of maturity coz its not fair to him to keep him. he wouldn't understand whats happening until you're married a few years later and then may leave you. I'm sorry, but i do think this relationship if taken seriously will cause more heartache than it should.

[snoz]

I would've thought as a teacher you'd understand boys that age. Hell was I mature about things back then? I SURE THOUGHT I WAS but nah, all I really wanted in the end was sex and the feeling of being with someone. I would probably say just sex.

Shallow I know but that may be all there is to it, for him at least.

[Lipp]

18 years of age difference. Face it, you're not too far from being at an age where you would pass for being his mother and his own family would most likely be less accepting, if at all, since they're more connected to his side of it.

As long as neither of you feel that you are taking advantage of the situation I think that you can remain together while you are comfortable with it, but never engage in a serious relationship and be ready to break things off.

[starbuck]

It's incredibly naive to think it's going to go somewhere. You are most likely using each other for sex and for a temporary cure for loneliness. He is at the BEGINNING of his adult life, and has so much to learn and experience. This would be an incredibly tough relationship to make work, for you and for him not only because of the different life stages, but also because the social pressures of maintaining a relationship like this would be immense. His college buddies would most likely make fun of him. And your parents and friends won't be able to understand and relate. You aren't even legally allowed to go to bars together (assuming you're in the states).

Let me state that there is nothing wrong with flirting with a younger guy and enjoying the male attention, but seriously, you KNOW this isn't going to work in the long term. You really don't need us to tell you this, do you?

Are there no thirty-something guys where you live?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Ok....whats with the sudden teacher and student relationships on here? Is it a seasonal thing?Lawdy lawd.

Anyway, yes it is wrong. He's young enough to be your own son. Why dont you think of it as if it were your young daughter bringing home a man 18 years older than her? Would you approve?

[vashti]

Eww. Indi is going to blow her top.

That is all.

[AshleyC]

Your guys are right, it is stupid of me to think about a serious relationship with him, him and I do enjoy being together. I will enjoy our relationship while it lasts. I don't want to put any unfair pressure on him, it wouldn't be right, for now we will keep dating and be intimate together.

[bluesummer]

Ok....whats with the sudden teacher and student relationships on here? Is it a seasonal thing?Lawdy lawd.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Look, there's nothing wrong with dating someone younger than you, but there has to be a LIMIT. This is like the third posting this month about a 30+ teacher dating a former student, who's essentially just a child still.

What I fail to understand, is why the older parties in these so-called realtionships do not recognize that they are preying on vulnerable CHILDREN here.....they are just out of high school, are emotionally immature and haven't had adult relationships. Or maybe theses teachers just like being adored and worshipped by these kids who refuse to see their flaws? (something a person in their own age range would do).

[Gribble]

This is bullshit. Her grammar is atrocious. If she's an English teacher I'm St. Francis of Assisi.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

This is bullshit. Her grammar is atrocious. If she's an English teacher I'm St. Francis of Assisi.

Lmao...I hadnt even really paid attention to that you know.

[bluesummer]

Gasp! I wonder if this is Lanna's bf signed on as someone else? He might have changed his story a little bit, but it sounds eerily familiar......

She did say he was looking for this message board.

If this is Lanna's bf, we need to have some words, my friend.

[AshleyC]

Who is Lanna?, i don't know her or her bf.

[starbuck]

Who is Lanna?, i don't know her or her bf.

LOL, suuure you don't. I think Gribble and Blue called it.