Dealing with paranoia

[Canibus]

My girlfriend goes away tomorrow for 2 weeks on a music course. How do I cope with this? I am very paranoid about her staying and going out with others and basically cheating. I know i'm being silly etc because she loves me. We have been together for a year now and are moving over to glasgow in september. But is there any techniques to deal with getting paranoid when it creeps up?? My minds works overtime with things like that!!

[Ratfish256]

Well you may want to lay off the weed for a while =P

[zas]

Yeah, weed is so bad at causing paranoia, I gave it up and feel way better, much less paranoid

[PandaCivic]

you're going to have to just trust her. you really can't do anything about what she will or will not do. If someone sees her and becomes VERY interested in her, he will do what he can to get her. what matters is how strong she is in keeping you #1. just let her know how much you care about her and such.

[Illusional]

look at it this way, 2 weeks is a very short time. raverboy

[swimmingNreverie]

basically all you can do is what you've already done. tell yourself you're being stupid because she loves you. If you love someone you have to trust them!

[French056]

If you can not stop imagining things with her find something to do. Go out with some friends of you have fun and these 2 weeks will be over quickly.

[Canibus]

Well I haven't had any weed for a week now lol. She went this morning - dreading the next two weeks. Gonna go out with my mates and play guitar and well i've got crappy work to look forward to. I am trying to look at it like a test for us. Ive been cheated on a few times before which has left me very paranoid etc.. but If I can get through this with her coming back and everything is fine then it will be a big step in building the trust even more. But ya know the way ya get all the wee stomach aches and feelings from your past relationships? Sucks don't it?

[Canibus]

Think I might need to see a doctor or something seriously. I haven't been able to stop thinking all day. Please tell me it will get easier?

[mildwild]

will it get easier?
maybe, maybe not...
you're the one controlling what you think, think of other stuff...think of how much she cares about you.

why not channel your energy to something a little more positive and productive...like a special dinner for when she gets back telling her how much you've missed her.

If she gets back and you haven't done anything over the past 2 weeks except pine over her as flattering as that is I don't think she'll be happy.

I've been cheated on soooo much, I know how you feel.

It's tough doing other things and not knowing what's going on elsewhere, but isn't that the whole point of trust and having a relationship? Knowing that somewhere out there, there is a person who loves you and you can both go about your days yet at the end of the day she's still "yours" and you're still hers?

Like I said, do something productive, take all those thoughts about her and do something romantic to show you were thinking about her, and all the good things you share. I'm sure she's not oblivious to the fact that you're paranoid, she'll appreciate it.

-mildwild

[Kalu]

dude, you just have to trust her. good relationships are built on trust and if you dont have that, you have nothing. she will be fine. by the way, are you moving to glasgow ky?

[Canibus]

ky?? Yes I am moving to glasgow at the end of the month mate. But always have doubts whether its fair to. Keep thinking would it be right to break up with her and go and find out who I am first and make me happy first. Because I don't see how its healthy of helping me and no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking and feeling insecure ya know? ****in sucks!

[SpaZz]

...go and find out who I am first and make me happy first.!

So are you not happy now???
And yeah man what kalu said.... you need trust and there ain't jack you can do about it right now. So you're gonna have to trust her. Just focus on what it will be like to see her again. But for now go out have fun with the mates... keep busy... time will fly and she'll be back before you know it.

[Canibus]

Well got myself St. Johns wort - herbal thing that helps with stress and depression and anxiety. And gonna do a bit excercise and head out with mates tomorrow night and hopefully things will perk up a bit better. Also had some phone sex with her this morning after a big chat about things. Hopefully it will get better in the next few days. Thanks for your advice guys - appreciate it!

[Ratfish256]

Dude theres nothing to worry about if you two are having phone sex.