do ppl marry/date out of their race b/c they can;t find someone of thier own race

[joe45]

do u think ppl generally date or even marry someone from another race/culture is b/c they can;t find someone from their own culture.My dad is telling me this. lets say chinese guy can;t find chinese girl so he marries a korean or white girl and they only reason the white girl marry him is b/c he has a good job, well paid and owns a penthouse suite house. other than that she would marry a white guy, but she can;t find a whtie guy b/c her age is getting close to 40's and shes kind of thick on the side. she has less choice and marries and settles down with the chinese guy.

well me and my dad(we are chinese) where talking about mix marriage and dating and how one of our male chinese cousin(dan-age 37) and his wife Julie(italain-age 37) who got married like 2 years ago. his reasoning for it was that since when dan was younger he was fooling and playing around and going out with white girls , and didn;t commit/ he wanted to find a chinese girl but was just fooling around and playing around. he should have found one and commit to one.

he also said how he heard from an uncle that Julie his wife was a divroced. and how generally italains generally marry italian. "why would he marry a chinese person for" well its b/c shes divroce and less guys want to marry a divroce woman. if she can find an italian guy she would-of the same calibre-education , job wise...etc ,but she can't so she settles for dan. dans family is good too b/c his family owned 2 houses (2 storeys high), and he has a good well paying job. (julie has a good well pay job too)and how that at her age she just had to commit and settle down. she just married him because she had to settle down, and he wasn;t a bad catchjob wise.

he also said how that dan would have preferred to date a chiense girl, but can;t find one, and same with his sister who married a whtie guy , but she can;t find one so they settle for white since they have to settle down

well this is what my dad is telling me. i love to hear your thoughts on it

[miSSleepy]

I would have thought it's because they love the person

[IndiReloaded]

I think there must be some 'race preference' in ppl. Personally, I have yet to meet an asian man I find very attractive (sorry guys, no offense, its just so). Even 'heartthrobs' like Chow Yun Fat & Peter Ho don't do it for me. I think I'm somewhat programmed for caucasian & latino looks. Tho I met the rare afro that I think attractive also.

[starbuck]

I dunno. How does your dad really know if those above people "settled" or not and why? It sounds like he could be projecting his own beliefs onto others.

I do agree with Indie that some have race preferences for the people they date. Maybe people just want to date others they feel they have more in common with culturally. Or it's an attraction thing.

I would and I have dated a guy of another race, and it's not because I "can't find" a white guy. Would I marry a non-white guy? If we were in love, of course.

[Charlie Boy II]

this is only vaguely on topic but I really want to have sex with a black chick.

[Time Piece]

Yes, I believe SOME do.

One of the reasons they have mail order brides.

Someone around here recently posted a thread about “American” women and how they are inferior to women in other countries.

Also, people date and marry for all sorts of reasons.

[Junket]

It's bullshit.

You and your father are dumb for even believing it.

One of the top reasons why people of the same ethnicity seek out those that are similar is because they are more likely to share the same cultural values. So imagine you met a black woman that spoke chinese fluently, practiced buddhism and could handle chopsticks?

[Charlie Boy II]

It's bullshit.
So imagine you met a black woman that spoke chinese fluently, practiced buddhism and could handle chopsticks?

that is a highly attractive image.

[miSSleepy]

I think there must be some 'race preference' in ppl. Personally, I have yet to meet an asian man I find very attractive (sorry guys, no offense, its just so). Even 'heartthrobs' like Chow Yun Fat & Peter Ho don't do it for me. I think I'm somewhat programmed for caucasian & latino looks. Tho I met the rare afro that I think attractive also.

O man I have seen some beautiful Asian guys around my campus. Mind you, they were tall and built like Adonis. But that's just it... Asian guys either don't pique my interest at all, or just give me an overload of hotness. But those are far inbetween.

[IndiReloaded]

What is it about Chinese guys chasing caucasian women, anyway? I knew a Chinese MD fellow who was mad for Princess Di and Audrey Hepburn. He had these creepy albums full of their photos.

Perfectly nice fellow. Just a tad odd, in that regard.

[bluesummer]

I don't understand why people find it so odd to date or marry out of their race or culture. We're just people in different packaging for god sakes.

I'm caucasian, and I've dated almost every race under the sun. I don't date them based on what they look like or what their heritage is....just who they are as people. If I meet a nice guy, and he happens to be chinese, oh well. I'm not going to NOT go out with him because he's chinese, that's stupid. My ex-husband was east indian. My current fiance is caucasian. Never once in my life has my family told me that I HAD to marry a caucasian, or that marrying outside of my race was 'weird' or 'wrong'.

I just don't understand that mentality at all.

[boobaa]

I would have thought it's because they love the person

Love comes with time, at first there is only shallow likeness. People from different culture and race seem to be more interesting. Its just that simple. People are very bored.

[bluesummer]

Or maybe, just maybe, you like them for who they are as a person and don't care what their race/culture is.

Why is this such a hard concept?

[MrsLovin]

I think thats BS to be honest with you, and what would i class my 'race' as i guess that'd mean i could only hook up with mixed race guys as im mixed myself? Or would black/white guys be ok because im a little of both so its passable? Its sure as hell not because they 'cant find' someone of their own race i met plenty of perfectly nice guys of all races but they werent my thing. Personally i dont dig on mixed race guys, they dont do it for me. Everyone has their 'type' whether youre a white guy who likes blonde blue eyed girls or a chinese guy who wants a hot brazilian woman. Its pure animal attraction baby and if you can make it last into a long term relationship, good for you.

Saying that i do know people who say like charlie boy want to screw a black chick but when it comes to marriage they'd only take a nice white girl home to momma. Or vice versa. (im not saying thats you its just an example and your post made me laugh).

[lastwish]

Race is probably the least important characteristic that makes up someone's identity. In America for example you can share similar political beliefs, same religion, similar taste in music, fashion, food, activities (the list goes on) with someone from a different race. So I'm not surprised that your "Chinese" relative married someone thats "Italian". I assume they live and met in the same country.

I disagree with your father. Cultural divisions are not as wide as he think it is in America. So, its not because he can't find a "Chinese" girl but he just fell in love with or can identify more with his wife.