Is this the start of a break up? what is she thinking?

[mr_ratty]

hi all,

I really dun noe where to start... I met this gal at work about 7 mths ago and we have been dating for the last 4 mths. She left to study in the UK since august and i havent kissed or held her hand since there. We chat constantly on skype and we were planning atrip to europe in dec.....

Just today, she told me that her sch was organising a trip to japan and she wanted to go for it. The problem is that, she has no qualms abt ditching the europe trip for it!! i was a little upset so i asked her if she was alright with not seeing me in dec.. and she told me that she was alright!!! the next time i could even see her again willl be in june next yr and its a terribly long time to not see someone u love....... but she's ok with that... and i just cant understand why..........

So i asked her if she still loved me... she hesistated and said she couldnt answer (if its any relevant, she was crying.. but she meant it) so i told her that i understood and i wanted her to take some time off and to think carefully abt her feelings for me and whether she wanted to continue.....

Does she still love me? I have sacrificed a lot for this trip (i basically budgeted about $3 a week -- yah i can survive amazingly on that) just so i can go for the trip and i drag myself out from bed every morning to talk to her (due to the time difference) but of cos i didnt tell her.. how could i make her feel bad???

WHat are ur opinions pls help me!!! how can i save us? ae we doomed?

[jackandcoke]

I think she's cheating on you, if someone loves you they will bend over backwards to be with you. You can take that literally or figuratively.

[mr_ratty]

I dun think she is though....

but is it that i am over reacting??

[blackzj52]

dam. if you didnt love her this situation would be alot easier. you might wanna open ur eyes and start looking at other girls again.

[katya]

you may be overreacting a little bit..i don't know...maybe that trip to japan will really help her future career and you wouldnt want her to miss that, right?...maybe i am wrong because i never had a real long distance relationship

[agatha]

Why not go to UK instead of having the trip to Europe.
There you will discover if she cheated you or not.
With her trip to Japan, maybe you can still go for her, if she wanted you to go with her.

Also in going to UK, you will know if she still likes you or not anymore.

My insight in long distance relationship is that it won't works.
One of you will find another that cause your relationship to be broken up.
It actually depends on the two of you if you were really that strong.

[mr_ratty]

She doesnt want me to go with her to japan. She said its a school event and i shouldnt be tagging along.. and if i'm just gg to be there alone most of the time, its no point wasting money to go there.

I wanted to go UK too! but she said tat her hall fees were too costly and if she isnt gg japan, she'll go back to her hometown.. In which case, she doesnt want me to go either cos her parents doesnt know about our relationship yet.

[boobaa]

This sucks, dude, don't live in the unknown. Tell her directly what you think, ask. You have to take the lead, not let her drag you around, leave you whenever she wants.

[Hunny]

*Sigh.* I'd say yes, she probably wants to break up with you. I'm sorry, but being so distant from one another and knowing you won't be seeing each other any time soon probably means she wants to end it. She probably doesn't want to feel tied down when she can't even touch you. That being said, if she were deeply in love with you, I think she'd find a way to make it work out, or to see you. Where there's a will, there's a way..