Self esteem...where does it come from?

[ecojeanne]

Self esteem refers to how an person feels about themselves.

People with positive self esteem are likely to believe that they measure up to others okay. These people are not overly afraid of failure

People with low self esteem, however, are less likely to try their best at anything. They are so certain they will fail that they approach tasks and challenges with fear. They are afraid of failure.

Some people are generally thought to be always positive about themselves (confident) and some people are always thought to be negative about themselves.

Is this a genetic thing? or is this something that changes by the way they one has been brought up? Does it make a difference what gender you are?

[Junket]

Self esteem is learned and built.

Temperament is however hardwired into babies.

[ecojeanne]

do you think men or women have better self esteem or it doesn't make a difference?

[shh!]

I think males often have more self esteem at an earlier age because very often, they focus on external activities that offer tanglible rewards, and they can see the positive results of their actions. Women are often more focused on feelings and relationships, which as we all know, usually fail early in life. Also, men tend to be more valued for what they DO, whereas women are more valued for how they look.

I am speaking in generalities, of course.

[ecojeanne]

do you think this explains in some way why it's considered a man's world?

[bluesummer]

Not necessarily. It's becoming less of a 'mans world', but its been that way for most of humanity's existence, so understandably, its going to take a long time to shake our old ways of doing things.

Anyways, I agree with Fras that self-esteem is learned. I think it especially harder for women for the reasons shh mentioned. Young girls are so impressionable and made to feel worthless if they don't look like the girls on The Hills or any of those other stupid teen-dramas. They equate everything to their looks and whether or not boys like them.

I also think that a lot of people confuse 'ego' with self-esteem. Being egoist is another form of low self esteem masked in what appears to be an overabundance of it. Those people amuse me, because they're acting like they think they're better than everyone else, but you know that deep down inside they want to go home and get a hug from mommy and be told they're special.

[Kromat]

Well, in some societies, it's the women's duty to treat her man with the respect that he deserves.

Women seem to treated more like helpers, and men more like providers
to make sure everything is in balance and the family is secure.

They're grown up to show love, that is why they're so focused on relationships,
while a guy would rather just date and have fun then settle down right away.

P.S. Men portray power and are better risk takers than Women.

[doppelgaenger]

Guys have self esteem issues too. You women think it's so much harder for you because you have to match the cookie cutter shapes in magazines. Well it doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. Guys worry about their looks too, and not just that either.

Self esteem is the realization that it simply doesn't ****ing matter. It doesn't! Looks, talent, popularity, wealth, anything. It really doesn't matter as much as we sometimes think.

[bluesummer]

P.S. Men are better risk takers than Women.

Wtf?

Anyways, DG I agree with your definition of self esteem. Just realize it doesn't matter. It took me until this year to figure that out. I'm 28.

[doppelgaenger]

I don't know what Kromat is talking about either, lol.

[ecojeanne]

There tends to be a lot more men in power still even with the changing times. Do you think some part of the reason could be because men in power will possibly choose other men before choosing a woman?

[doppelgaenger]

lol, get back in the kitchen ecojeanne

[shh!]

Hah! I thought Frasbee's post said self esteem was EARNED, which is why I agreed. I'm not sure how it is learned.

[IndiReloaded]

Hah! I thought Frasbee's post said self esteem was EARNED, which is why I agreed. I'm not sure how it is learned.

Oh, its rampant, Shh. Parents are largely responsible for the narcisstic culture that is present today:

[url]http://www.psichi.org/pubs/articles/article_720.asp[/url]

[bluesummer]

Oops, did I write learned?

Well, in a way it is. I LEARNED self-esteem from other powerful women in my life...great influences. I learned what it was that made them the self confident people they were, and what those behaviours looked and felt like.

Self esteem is EARNED through experience. The more hits you have to it, the more you start to fight back and change your point of view on the opinions of others out there in the world, and most importantly, your opinion of yourself.