How Do I Get Myself AND MY SMILE Back??

[MzConfused]

hey guys

i've been with a few guys in the last 3years and everyone of them has either left me for another girl, or have told me that i'm not beautiful because i'm either...

...not light skinned...

...have no bum...

...have no breast...

over the years this has really worn me down. i used to be confident. not vain but i was happy being me, but now i'm scared of the mirror, scared of everything and everyone. i can still be rude and that, and i can still hold a conversation but i feel almost invisible.

when i'm in school, i just sit in silence most days. some days i'll get sick of being sad and so i'll be overly happy. but it's all fake. i can't smile for real anymore and it's slowly making me ill. i have to go to the hospital to get a blood test to make sure i'm okay for the simple fact that i'm always off school sick or always feeling unwell.

i don't know what to do to get my confidence and my happiness back. my friends tell me i'm beautiful but they're supposed to. i know i must be okay because i can't be that bad but despite that thought, surely if i was okay i'd be loved?

i just can't get my old self back. Please help me.....xx

[lastwish]

oh...and I thought somebody lost all their teeth.

Girl, don't worry so much about what those guys say. You're still have everything that makes you a human intact. Sometimes people get physically sick when they feel emotionally unwell. Take it easy. Treat yourself and indulege in things that you love (like shopping or getting a new hairstyle, eat chocolate, watch some romantic comedies). Talk to a close friend about your problems.

Not everyone has a boyfriend or a dozen of admirers. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so when you find the right guy, he's suppose to think you're beautiful.

[Zilla80]

There's beauty in everyone.

Whenever I get self-conscious about a physical characteristic I always tell myself "Well nothing I can do about it, better get use to it because I'm going to be ME for a very long time!"

You have to learn to love you for who you are. You were made this way. Sure you could go out and get a boob job or booty implants, but then you lose what's so important - you're no longer YOU.

[IndiReloaded]

In high school (guessing?), kids aren't known for their depth. You seem to have matured sooner than your peers. I'm sure you *are* quite pretty, tho you are probably more naturally introverted. Its a natural personality style. Don't worry about it, you're fine how you are.

Focus on your studies. Go out with friends in a group, but don't worry about having a boyfriend. In college, particularly if you are intelligent & have learned from watching other girls mistakes, you will have opportunity to meet more NICE guys (who will be more mature by then) than you can imagine.

[agatha]

Its not yet your time to be happy. Just wait for it.

For me, your problem isn't a big problem.
If I were in your situation, i always bear this in mind that
I'm beautiful and unique. Be a positive thinker, ok?

If you have problems with your body, just let it be.
My body also is not perfect but I have lots of friends and
suitors. Some Guys really don't base on physical appearance, they base on attitude. That's why guys do like me. Be yourself always and be confident.

[Mish]

over the years this has really worn me down. i used to be confident. not vain but i was happy being me, but now i'm scared of the mirror, scared of everything and everyone. i can still be rude and that, and i can still hold a conversation but i feel almost invisible.

when i'm in school, i just sit in silence most days. some days i'll get sick of being sad and so i'll be overly happy. but it's all fake. i can't smile for real anymore and it's slowly making me ill. i have to go to the hospital to get a blood test to make sure i'm okay for the simple fact that i'm always off school sick or always feeling unwell.

Oh snap out of it!

You're sounding like your life is over or something. And you're still in school? (as in, you're a teenager?) Ha! What, you think you're going through something unique, something that only affects you. Look around you. Millions are going through the same issues as you are. You and them will be going through it for some time, untill slowly little by little you'll mature enough to understand that life isn't about being beautiful and isn't about what some people or exs tell you. Your confidence is within you and you don't need anyone else to tell you anything, just dicsover it and forget about everything else.

Now slap yourself and snap out of it.

[1averagejoe]

Oh snap out of it!

You're sounding like your life is over or something. And you're still in school? (as in, you're a teenager?) Ha! What, you think you're going through something unique, something that only affects you. Look around you. Millions are going through the same issues as you are. You and them will be going through it for some time, untill slowly little by little you'll mature enough to understand that life isn't about being beautiful and isn't about what some people or exs tell you. Your confidence is within you and you don't need anyone else to tell you anything, just dicsover it and forget about everything else.

Now slap yourself and snap out of it.

Yep yep...I agree with Mish.

You sound like you're in high school. You've had a few boyfriends so I'm guessing you're a pretty cute girl. It's usually the cute girls that have a few boyfriends in high school. Us average folk usually have 1 or none. The guys you were with were assholes.

People your age tend to be very very shallow, even in college, because what else do you have to offer at that age? Honestly, think about it now? Brains? Usually the nerds. Money or being financially secure? Very few people have money at that age. A good job? Virtually no one. What do you have to offer other than looks? Personality usually comes second, but that's really not something most people your age are after.

Like Mish said, as you get older you tend to realize that life is more than just looks. I've found it to be very easy to spot people that tend to be more mature in college, because they're usually the people that don't tend to try to look like their going to a club or dressed up and have tons of make up on everyday. They're the people that are usually casual and easy going.

You do sound mature for your age other than the fact that you're worrying about your looks. Don't worry about not having breasts, or an ass, or whatever...any guy that tells you that is just a waste of your time and be happy he's out of your life. There are great guys out there that will love you for who you are and not what you are. Don't worry about being the hottest girl or perfect...no one is. Everyone goes through this, I went through it. It's rough but it's something you'll get through and you'll come out of it being more confident and happy with yourself.

Oh ya, and CONFIDENCE is just as important if not more than looks for most people, even the young and stupid.

[Only-virgins]

I hate big butts and I can not lie, **** you other brothers if you think I lie.

[1averagejoe]

I hate big butts and I can not lie, **** you other brothers if you think I lie.

It's not the size that matters...it's the quality. I prefer a small firm ass. I also prefer B's...anything larger is a bit too large for me. C or A is acceptable, B's ftw.

[Only-virgins]

It's not the size that matters...it's the quality. I prefer a small firm ass. I also prefer B's...anything larger is a bit too large for me. C or A is acceptable, B's ftw.

I like that "petite" look.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

If you're in high school, you need to calm down. Stop trying to grow up so quick. I went into 9th grade flat chested as ****, 10th grade came and I shot up to b's. Just have patience.

[MzConfused]

i know i HAVE to be confident but i don't know how to be? i know i HAVE to think beyond looks and all that, but i don't know HOW...

i've been told i'm alright looking but i don't know HOW to believe it?

[Only-virgins]

i know i HAVE to be confident but i don't know how to be? i know i HAVE to think beyond looks and all that, but i don't know HOW...

i've been told i'm alright looking but i don't know HOW to believe it?

Show me a picture and I swear on my dignity I will be brutally honest with you. Many people look great but don't think so because of the reaction some people give them. If not you have to ask for opinion elsewhere or confirmation.

[lastwish]

I've found it to be very easy to spot people that tend to be more mature in college, because they're usually the people that don't tend to try to look like their going to a club or dressed up and have tons of make up on everyday. They're the people that are usually casual and easy going.

You should come to my university. People dress like they're going to a fashion show. It's hilarious. But I agree, people do seem more mature and easy-going in university.

[bluesummer]

i know i HAVE to be confident but i don't know how to be? i know i HAVE to think beyond looks and all that, but i don't know HOW...

i've been told i'm alright looking but i don't know HOW to believe it?

Why don't you try appreciating things about yourself that aren't physical? Admire yourself for your abilities.....are you smart? Do you have any special talents or hobbies? Goals?

Oh, and another thing. How about you stop measuring your worth against what boys say about you, or whether or not boys like you? Who gives a shit what they think? At their age, most of their preference in women is shallow and unrealistic anyways, and also dictated by who their buddies approve of.

Do you think you have no value until some guy tells you that you do?Let me tell you something. No guy is going to value you until you value yourself.