HELP GUYS ASAP. i need to deal with 1 of ur kind

**stephoney** · 07-10-08, 09:14 PM

I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now. when we fist met, it was like we had known each other all our lives. we were just right. we understood each other so much, we couldn't bear to be apart for a whole day. then at the begining of this year he had to work in another city. we kept in touch everyday.
upon a visit, late one nite, he thought i was asleep. i woke up to hear him wispering on the phone. before he closed he told her that he luved her. he had to muffle it but she insisted he say it out so he did a bit louder. i got so mad, i started yelling at him and we had a fight. (just word clashes). we kind of had it off for about two weeks. i took my mind off him. then he started calling to say we should make up and that the fight wasn't worth ending our luv. he explained all about her and said he would disengage himself. i luv him so much so we came back together. but soon i found out that he hadn't left her yet. though every time he would tell me that it's me who he luvs and wants to spend his life with. that he was trying to leave her without just hurting her. he stopped being so concerned about me and started forgetting important stuff about me. i just felt so hurt and fed up. one day i just called him and told him it was over. it was better to be without him than to be hurt by him. it did me some good being out of his life. i grew more self assured and when he came actually begging for a last chance, i thought it made him realize that he really luv and need me. that's what he said. that there's no other girl for him like me.

i luv my boyfriend so much that i always give in at the hint that we could somehow work things out. i give him his last chance. the girl somehow got my number from a friend of mine and called me just about 2 weeks ago to say she can't share him so she's quitting bcuz he dosen't seem to want to leave me. i tought that was the end to our problems. but he seems more distant. he dosen't call if i don't. but he keeps saying he luvs me and that i shouldn't give up on him. that he'll make me happy. but i keep wondering when? and what if he dosen't? so finally yesterday, i wrote him an email telling him that he either chose the player life n never call me again. but call me only if he's ready to do me right and give the faithfulness and commitment he always ask of me and work towards the future with me that he always talks about. i told him i luv him too much to just play around for sex like a simple affair. my feelings for him is only for something more special, anything else would only get me hurt.

Have i done the right thing? do u think he really luvs me? that if i should stay and give him my luv, it'll help him find himself? i'm so afraid and confused. I luv him with my very soul but i don't want to kill my heart in the end. he wrote back just now that he's sorry i'm so sad and he swears he dosen't mean to hurt me. that he promise to be there for me and care for me. i should believe in him. that he's never stopped loving me. Sometimes i think he really wants this kind of relationship with me but somehow he's afraid or plain stubborn to give in. like he's fighting his heart.

pls help me. i need any advice and views i can get. i'm so distraught. i luv him greatly but i don't think i'll be able to live through another total heartbreak.