Am I over reacting? SHould I get out now?

[gretsch]

I am in a year log relationship which I recently moved in with my boyfriend- we a rein our 30's- and since i have moved in thing went down hill. I am begining to feel like he just asked me to move in just to pay half of the bills as he was in financial trouble- he was talking marriage before but now he doesnt even show interest in interacting with me- all we talk about is his work, his hobbies his.... I also need to talk about my day at work, feelings etc.. Admittedly I dont have a fun pleasant job but a stressful one- A hospice nurse so he shows little interest, or wh I do talk a little about it he shuts off and basically turns to tv or about talking about his self- I am beginning to feel empty and wonder why I am here- I moved to his city his house where I know no one. He admits he is uncomfortable discussing my work and that it does not really interest him but frankly Im not really interested in hearing about his colleagues, meetings and reports either but I still listen becaus he need s to talk about it. Now all I do is fight to get him to show interest in my life, me... On top of it all he is a slob and will not divide household chores because " he is busier than me trying to get ahead at work an Im not" and He does other things for me like make me coffee in the morning etc... So Im left to either have a dirty house because he wont scrub a toilet, floor nada- or spen all my spare time cleaning. I cant live in a gross house especially since we just remodeled. He lived in absolute squalor prior to me moving in.
Is this what I have to face for the rest of my ife with this guy? Be a housemaid? I am not sure how to approach this- feel very disregarded and disrespected and my request fall on deaf ears.

[barrett]

Sounds like you are in my situation--total lack of communication, when you, like I, want to communicate--except I let the guy move into my house. He doesn't want to talk about marriage now either, although he asked me to marry him a year ago and has brought it up when it suits "him" several times since. Now he says he won't marry me because he's afraid of the turmoil that will ensue (turmoil, aka communication) yet wants to continue living here. I'm also in my 30s, he's 52. Sometimes I think it's a power thing with him--he's a university telephone operator and I'm a political speechwriter--so there's an imbalance of power. I feel for you. I don't think it's going to work for either or us, although I know it hurts like hell.

[InLove&Loved]

WOW. You have such a stressful job, emotionally and physically and he wont let you express your emotions to him. That is despicable. You gave everything up for, you moved to a new place, to a new house and you do all the work in house. He is a complete user! Your his maid and he soooo does not deserve you!!!!!!1 GET OUT NOW! You can do so much better.....

[LAtoJapan]

People have said in the past that opposites attract. Yes, that may be so in the initial stages but then over time, the differences only bring division and not togetherness.

After my ex and I broke up last year after a long relationship, I dated different women to see if I could find that perfect match who I could build a nice relationship with. I am exactly the same as you. I really like a girl who is interested in my life, interests and things I do on a daily basis. Those are the girls that ask questions to show that they are actually interested in me. I figure if the girl only talks about herself without a comeback question is either self-centered or lacks social skills.

Why not talk with him about this and even though it might not be your style, have him reassure you that he loves you or turn the tables on him and ask him to ask you questions. Even though men don't like it, you need to put your foot down and make your thoughts known. He is not going to change over time, we as men need a woman's direction for anything to happen.

[shh!]

If you aren't happy, get out now. You are a nurse, and there are plenty of jobs out there for you. You don't need him. Why don't you find someone who values the important job you do? He won't change, and if you tolerate him now, you will have no one but yourself to blame later.