My GF left me...

[Satch]

Does anyone have any feedback on my letter? Anyone?

[Adelphi]

You know what, you're in my prayers. I really hope that you'll get back together, because I'm going through the same thing as you are. You're in my prayers, and I really, really, sincerely hope that you'll end up together. I'm going through the exact same thing, and even though I'm just a mere 18 year old (turning 19 this month), I've gone through quite a lot of girls, yet, I haven't felt like this about any other girl; I'm willing to lay it all on the line, and it doesn't matter what other people say, because they'll never know what we've been through.

I really hope that you'll succeed.

If anything, I'll give you this advice. If you feel that this is the girl, I don't think that you should stop pursuing. In the bible, it says "Love never fails". Doesn't that say a lot?

[Satch]

Thanks for your kind words Adelphi. I truly hope that you get your girl back too.

I know how it feels, and hate to think that anyone else is going through this hurt too.

[Adelphi]

Yeah, it feels like shit. It's like when you wake up, you think of her, when you sleep, you think of her, when you eat, drink, drive, walk, you still think of her. It's annoying really, I can't even sleep in my own bed. You find a way to make all love songs seem like they're talking specifically to you. Horrible.

Just keep at it. You know what they say...There isn't a shortcut to a place that's worth going to.

[Soulkiss_29]

Satch - Get a grip dude. It's over and stop sending her those sappy letters. Doing stuff like this is gonna freak her out and push her away even more. Don't think that she is not just gonna magically fall back in love with you.

You need to start dating other women. She will see this and see what are great guy you are and not someone whom is pining their hopes and dreams to just one woman.

You need to explore some other options besides this chick. I bet you anything that there are many women out there that would love to go out on a date with you, but you are too wrapped up in your ex to see it.

So, get some b@lls, go out and enjoy life and start dating other women, please.

~Soulkiss

[Satch]

I'm really, really happy to see that life is such a cinch for you Soulkiss. Everything in life must just fall into place for you.

I do appreciate your comments about my letter. I am now starting to realise that this is not the best thing to do.

I DON'T appreciate your comments about getting on with life. I love this girl, and know that she is the one for me. I feel if you believe strongly in something, that you must work to achieve it. Or that's how it works for the rest of us anyway. I don't need someone with a cold and defeatist attitude like yours. I'll never achieve anything in life with an attitude like that.

I'm staying positive, and still believe that I will get back with my ex one day. I believe that this is my fate.

[Soulkiss_29]

Satch,

Maybe this is what you are waiting for someone to say on this message board -

I think you're right and everyone else on this thread is wrong. The problem
here is that you haven't tried hard enough. You haven't told her how you
really feel or how much you love her. What you need to do is go over to wherever she lives,
and follow her around all day. Serenade her from outside her apartment or house every night.
Just stalk her 24-7 and never let her out of your sight. Buy her flowers and presents and things --- something really expensive. Or maybe you should buy her a diamond solitaire and ask her to marry you. That would definately win her back and win her over.

Eventually, if you're lucky, maybe after about a year of this, she'll come around. But, you have to do what is neccessary back to win this girl back, because life is short. Pretty soon, you'll be an old man and no woman will want to talk to you. This is definately the only girl you could ever possibly have a chance at marrying, so you better win her back. So basically Satch, this girl is your only hope for your entire life, and your entire self worth is hanging in the balance of you being able to win her back or not. So just keep on trying harder and harder and if you're lucky she will come around and realize she really does want to spend the rest of her life with you.

Good luck!

[Satch]

Thanks for the mature response Soulkiss. Life is good, isn't it?

My heart is broken. I love this girl. I am not going to give up just yet. If nothing eventuates, then I will move on. But I DO NOT want to give up without trying.

Hence the reason that I have come here for CONSTRUCTIVE advice, not destructive advice.

[Soulkiss_29]

Basically Satch - If she doesn't want you back, then that means it's all your fault - it's not her, it's you! I mean, you know that she is perfect in every way, so if she doesn't want you back, it must be because there is something wrong with you. You're just not being nice enough or trying hard enough.

So try harder with the letters and at being super nice or even try acting sappy and gay, if that's what it takes. Women love it when guys are like that. Try that out and let us know how it goes!

Good Luck!!!
Soulkiss

[Spanaway55]

Basically Satch - If she doesn't want you back, then that means it's all your fault - it's not her, it's you! I mean, you know that she is perfect in every way, so if she doesn't want you back, it must be because there is something wrong with you. You just not being nice enough or trying hard enough.

So try harder with the letters and at being super nice or even try acting sappy and gay, if that's what it takes. Women love it when guys are like that. Try that out and let us know how it goes!

Good Luck!!!
Soulkiss

soulkiss, maybe you havent been down this road, but its very immature to just "get over her" "she doesnt want you back" well if thats what she wants, all he is looking for is some closure on this matter, if there is hope for them, or if it is completely over. If he hears those words from her like "get over me" or "i dont want you back, i dont love you" then that would probably be my que to start getting over it, but until then you have no other reason to belive there still isnt hope for you two! keep going for it!

but i do agree with soulkiss's comment on dating other girls, try dating a girl that is cute and funny or something (but you would never really get into a relationship) date another girl just for a little bit, and let on a little to your ex that you are dating again, and she what she acts like, you can sometimes indirectly tell how a girl is feeling about you. If she feels "happy for you that you have gotten up, and started dating and getting on with your life" that would be a "no she doesnt want me back" but if when you tell her you are dating and she is like "oh.....thats..nice " then you can kinda tell she still has feelings for you!

i hope all turns out well keep us posted!!
brandon

[Soulkiss_29]

Brandon - I have been down this road before -- I was in a 2.5 year relationship just like Satch and there came a time where my ex fell out of love with me, but the difference between Satch and I is that I have something called PRIDE and DIGNITY.

There is no way in hell, I'm gonna try for someone whom no longer sees the beauty in me. There are tons of females out there that will!

You know what Satch's ex is thinking right now with him wanting her back? She is thinking, 'damn, I've got him by the balls and I can have my cake and eat it too'. Why give someone that power over you? SHE is the one that broke his heart and he needs to take that power back.

If a woman breaks my heart, I will never let them see me hurt nor will I let them get the best of me. Satch is letting her get the best of him!

[Spanaway55]

sorry for being so assumtuous soulkiss, just trying to help, hey soulkiss is right about those things he said. You need to find out exactly where she stands! if she really doesnt want anything to do with you. and dont put it in a mushy letter, make sure she knows you are serious. jsut talk to her face to face "are we through? is there really no feelings for me left in you???" and dont take a "well yea but...."answer, you need YES or NO. and if its a tainted answer, then you just have to move on!

[Satch]

Both of you are right about certain things. It's just I am very low at the moment, and I don't need people with big buckets of cold water around me pouring them on my hopes. I do appreciate most of your comments though.

Further update:

Ok, after 11 days of no contact, my ex called me! About nothing in particular, just to see how my last two weeks were! I was fairly aloof with her, and asked her how her two weeks were.

She told me she was going out that night, and asked if I was too. I said yes. She told me where she was going for dinner, and what part of the city she will be in afterwards (at bars). I said that we might bump into each other, and she said "yes we might", and chuckled. Was this some sort extremely small sign?

She also asked me how I was (as in was I ok about things), and I said "yes, I'm good".

I finally asked her if I could call next week and she said "yes, that would be good." To me, that says 'yes I do want to talk to you again, and I will be looking forward to it'.

Well, I'm high again. She didn't say that she wanted me back, but she didn't say she didn't want me around. At worst, this is positive.

[Soulkiss_29]

Satch - You are seriously screwing up, dude. You are playing right into her hand and she is lapping it up! Stick with the no contact rule and leave her alone, because she is poison. She may be a good woman, but look what the breakup has done to you!

I've read your posts, Satch and I believe that you said that you are in your 30's and she is 20, or something like that. She is young and not ready to settle down. Let her go, already. If you leave her alone, you will be that much desireable to her!!!

~Soul

[Satch]

How can I be screwing up if she is the one who called me? And when she did, I did not tell her much. This is what all the 'strategies' say to do.

I'm simply not giving up on her yet. She is a very special person, and we had a very special bond together. I believe deep down that we can get that bond back. I just need to be senisble in the way I achieve this.