Do you ever become a hermit?

[ecojeanne]

At the moment I’m starting to go through a phase I haven’t gone through for years….but sometimes I can spend up to 6 months on my own happily, no real contact with anyone except for the cash register lady or delivery person. I did this a few years ago. I took time off work and spent the 6 months by myself in complete bliss. Now I realise I’m doing the same again…have been slowly since I broke up with my boyfriend. People have called me to go out and I’ve refused…so people thankfully have stopped calling.

I like being on my own. I’m self employed now. Its not complete hermit lifestyle, I go to clients homes do a bit of hairdressing for patients recovering from cancer or other illnesses and then go home. I’m not that busy at the moment so I have plenty of days when I’m on my own in quiet bliss. It’s a start up biz so it’s likely and hopefully will get busier but I’m enjoying the sound of silence. Usually once the 6 months is up or I feel ready I then go out in a blast that if I don’t have to get up early in the morning then I’ll be out in clubs and pubs constantly or have constant parties in my house….my friends do think it’s an odd part of my personality commenting like …’yay you’re back! About time’….

i think I’ve done it about 4 times in my life so far…not always 6 months…sometimes just a 3 month stretch ….. i usually leave the job I’m working at and then when my phase is over I apply somewhere else……there is no real explanation other than I guess I want to rest from all the stress that builds up over the years.....

i just get sick of all the noise around me….gotta get here, there and everywhere by this time otherwise you’re life is screwed….fcuk that.... Or maybe I’m an all or nothing type of person. I dunno why I enjoy this but I do. I always feel fully recharged when I’m done. People think I’m mad… what do you think….do you experience this ever? Do you ever just take a few months vacation on your own and just do absolutely nothing?

[Gribble]

I would love to be a hermit. Sometimes I ponder ways I could make money through the internet. If I could earn a modest income I could move to a country where the cost of living is extremely low and the population hasn't spread like a cancer over every available inch of soil. Don't need television. Don't need a car. Give me AC in the summer and a library of books and I'll be happy to the end of my days.

[starbuck]

I personally like routine. I don't know why, I think it just makes me feel more "normal" somehow. I complain about my hectic workweek often, but I actually like it despite the stress. I like getting out there everyday and going to the office, socializing with my coworkers, and going out with them at night occasionally. I enjoy the subway ride to and from work. If I'm with a friend we play a game and try to guess what the other riders are thinking or when the last time they had sex was.

I have one day a week where I become a hermit, usually Saturdays. I might go to the gym or the bookstore and skype with my sister overseas, but otherwise it's me in my apartment with books and my DVR. If there's a party going on, maybe I'll go to it, but if not, I'm definitely languishing in my alone-time.

Overall, though I need a social life. I need to feel like I'm "connecting" with the world. People may drive me crazy, but oddly enough being around them all the time here in the city gives me a weird sense of peace.

[misombra]

i'm a hermit. i work at home. hardly ever go out. i like to be at home.

[Tedel]

Taking into account we all live a sort of "collective autism" out there (I mean we all caring only about ourselves), I have been a hermit for years and I still am.

[GrkScorp]

I’m self employed now. I go to clients homes do a bit of hairdressing for patients recovering from cancer or other illnesses and then go home.

What an interesting cover-up story..

Do you ever just take a few months vacation on your own and just do absolutely nothing?

Let me think this through.., umm.. no..

Sure.., I'd love to.., but that would mean putting my life on hold because "aww.., so much stress.., aww I need some time to relax.., aww".. Yeah.., seriously.. The days of pretending to be sick in the hopes of avoiding school are over.. It's just more fun to push yourself harder and embrace the workhorse lifestyle..

Definitely a interesting way to cope with any related anxiety though..

Nothing wrong with it.., I know a lot of people that do that constantly.. But sooner or later.., you have to realize that you can't keep doing that.. Sure you can allow yourself to do it now.., and just get by every month.., but when you eventually decide to start a family or get married.., you can't exactly hit the rewind button on your life and go back to work hard for all those years you went on hermit mode..

[ecojeanne]

What an interesting cover-up story..

hey grk...haha....i'd love to know what you think the real story is....tell me...this should be interesting

[misombra]

but gskorp you live in more of a fast paced area. around here you would get so impatient because people are far more laid back.

[Gribble]

Not everyone's got that A-type personality. A life lived your way is a life wasted to some, Skorp. Time is immeasurably more valuable than money to me. I'd love oodles of cash. But not if I have to spend my every moment locked in a stressful rat race.

[GrkScorp]

but gskorp you live in more of a fast paced area. around here you would get so impatient because are far more laid back.

Yes.., that's true.., and that's actually not a negative on behalf of the people there.., but a negative on my part..

I remember when my friends from California came to NY.., they thought all New Yorkers were @ssholes.., everyone was so pissed off at how slow they were.., like they had all the time in the world.., not used to the "every second counts" or "time is money" mentality..

When I went to California.., everyone thought I was an @sshole.. I walked into a place to order a coffee.., it took them more than 3 minutes before someone even came to take my order.., and then I waited for 5 minutes before it was ready.., I left the store before they even made it.., the guys asked me.. "I thought you were going in to get coffee!".. I said.., "fcuk them.., the people there take forever.., let's go somewhere else".., Their reply blew my mind away.. "but you weren't even in there for 10 minutes!"

[ecojeanne]

Their reply blew my mind away.. "but you weren't even in there for 10 minutes!"

i think thats funny that you think it's absurd to wait 10 mins or more.....what does life consist of?....money?....time is money?.....

its ok to be a rat in the race....some people like it...some people thrive on it


btw we come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing.....you can't take all your money with you....so my policy is enjoy the ride

[GrkScorp]

Not everyone's got that A-type personality. A life lived your way is a life wasted to some, Skorp. Time is immeasurably more valuable than money to me. I'd love oodles of cash. But not if I have to spend my every moment locked in a stressful rat race.

You can enjoy all your free time after the age of 32-35.., spending it with your children and wife..

In the grand scheme of things.., of what value is your personal pleasure anyway? Are you really going to try and justify any real choice with a trade-off between your personal enjoyment and the future security and success of your family?

If you reach to the point where you want to provide the best to your family.., but you can't.., because when you were younger.., you were "having fun".., or "relaxing".. What are you going to do? Not YOU specifically.., but anyone in that situation..

That's just the way I see it.., but I could be wrong.. I'm not one to judge if some people put themselves first and their family and partner second.. Hey.., it's natural.. hyperbolic discounting in action.. "a tendency to choose immediate benefits in the short-run over distant benefits in the long-run"..

"hard work pays off later.., laziness pays off now!"

But.., you're right.., there's actually nothing wrong with it.., nothing wrong with relaxing and enjoying yourself when you're still young.. To be quite honest.., there are people who envy others that are able to just let go and do just that.. I eventually want to move out of New York and settle into Pennsylvania.., doing nothing but research and writing all day.., eventually..

[shh!]

Yes.., that's true.., and that's actually not a negative on behalf of the people there.., but a negative on my part..

I remember when my friends from California came to NY.., they thought all New Yorkers were @ssholes.., everyone was so pissed off at how slow they were.., like they had all the time in the world.., not used to the "every second counts" or "time is money" mentality..

When I went to California.., everyone thought I was an @sshole.. I walked into a place to order a coffee.., it took them more than 3 minutes before someone even came to take my order.., and then I waited for 5 minutes before it was ready.., I left the store before they even made it.., the guys asked me.. "I thought you were going in to get coffee!".. I said.., "fcuk them.., the people there take forever.., let's go somewhere else".., Their reply blew my mind away.. "but you weren't even in there for 10 minutes!"

I waited 10 minutes for coffee in NYC, and waited 20 minutes for the bathroom.

[GrkScorp]

btw we come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing.....you can't take all your money with you

That's true.., but you CAN put it into an irrevocable trust and appoint your children as the new beneficiaries..

Though.., you do have a point.. "If you go through all that hard work and don't enjoy your life.., then what's the point?"

That reminds me of my dad talking to this fisherman in Greece..

Dad: What are you doing?
Him: Just playing backgammon..
Dad: What's your fishing pole doing in the water?
Him: Oh.., I just let it out to see if anything bites while I'm playing and having my coffee..
Dad: Why don't you stop playing and try and catch more fish?
Him: Why would I do that?
Dad: Because you can sell them at the marketplace and get a better rod and lures..
Him: Hmm.., but why would I need those?
Dad: Because then you could catch even more fish!
Him: But what would I do with them?
Dad: You could sell them at the marketplace.., and buy a boat! And then you could catch even more fish!
Him: Yeah.., but then what?
Dad: Then you can keep doing that.., and eventually buy more boats! An entire fleet of fisherman!
Him: And then what?
Dad: And then we can register the company with the SEC and make it public! You'll be rich!
Him: Why would I want to do all that?
Dad: Don't you see? Because then you can have all those people working for you.., and you can just sit here on the beach.., drinking your coffee and playing backgammon.., and just throw your rod in to see if anything bites..

[GrkScorp]

I waited 10 minutes for coffee in NYC, and waited 20 minutes for the bathroom.

It does depend where you go.. (the women's bathrooms always have a longer wait)