Hatred

[Yacker]

Are you still in the Hatred stage? Just curious on page 14 here.

[Cain]

Are you still in the Hatred stage? Just curious on page 14 here.

I don't hate her. In fact, I never hated her. The hatred was just with the way that she handled the situation and I still feel it. This whole thing was just handled so incorrectly. All it does it show me that she has a lot to learn about relationships just like I still do.

[DoesntMatter]

Fucck you Cain

[lesa]

I don't care what anyone says...the human mind is amazing. A GOOD, LONG crying session (yes even from a man) works much better in healing than anger, hatred, and all those other emotions. You are said...cry. You will feel so much better if you let it all out. You will not become depressed in doing so. You can become depressed if you try to suppress it.

Cry and let her go. Realize that you don't need her in your life. Don't analyze anymore.

[Cain]

A few years ago I was not an emotional person. I was taught to be emotional by my ex, lol and I feel better emotionally than in my past.

I don't care what anyone says...the human mind is amazing. A GOOD, LONG crying session (yes even from a man) works much better in healing than anger, hatred, and all those other emotions. You are said...cry. You will feel so much better if you let it all out. You will not become depressed in doing so. You can become depressed if you try to suppress it.

I disagree. If I don't try to mask things with the anger, my moods last way longer than they should. I have to avoid getting into the mood because if I don't control it, I become a mess for the rest of the day. I lose my appetite and am no longer motivated to really do anything for the rest of the day. I still cry sometimes, but then I control it. Usually, the only time I cry now is when I'm listening to the radio and a song comes on that reminds me of her or is a song about getting over a relationship. But then I immediately start working on controlling it.

Right now, whenever I get sad, I immediately start thinking that this wasn't my fault. I'm not the one that held the doubts in and handled this break up the way she did. I start thinking that I hope she realizes what she did and that she eventually regrets her decision. I look forward to the day that she calls me and tries to talk after her current relationship (if it even is one... she told me that she doesn't know what they are, yet she listed herself as "in a relationship") fails. Right now it's exciting, fresh, and new. We'll see how she handles it after it turns stale.

[Cain]

Realize that you don't need her in your life. Don't analyze anymore.

I know that I don't need her in my life, but I do want her in my life.

And I can't stop analyzing things. It's my personality.

[survivor08]

Kind of hypocritical of you to say who has no respect, when you allow such a situation to happen.

Were you the fiance? JK. Actually, that conversation killed the mood for me. Never talked or saw that exotic looking woman again...

[Cain]

Were you the fiance? JK. Actually, that conversation killed the mood for me. Never talked or saw that exotic looking woman again...

Honestly, I still think it was very disrespectful for you to follow through with it. Interfering in a relationship is one thing, but an engagement?

[lesa]

It sounds like your emotions are beyond the issues of breaking up. You have given way more emotionally than she did in the relationship. I think you were too attached to her in an unhealthy way. Sad and disappointed, yes...but cannot function well, no.

I suggest you seek coping skills to help you in a more healthy way.

[lesa]

Honestly, I still think it was very disrespectful for you to follow through with it. Interfering in a relationship is one thing, but an engagement?

She doesn't sound so great anyways. It's not completely his fault that she did the things she did. She is the individual with another significant other and she chose to act the way she did. The fiance needs to know so that he can break up with her.

[survivor08]

Cain:

Repeat these words: _____insert your ex's name here______"I am letting you be gone from my life forever."

Repeat that by looking at yourself in the mirror until you can actually believe it.

Then get ready to watch a little Monday Night Football with the friends...

[Cain]

It sounds like your emotions are beyond the issues of breaking up. You have given way more emotionally than she did in the relationship. I think you were too attached to her in an unhealthy way. Sad and disappointed, yes...but cannot function well, no.

I suggest you seek coping skills to help you in a more healthy way.

Maybe. I don't know.

I've said this before... we were very close to marriage. If I had proposed, she'd have said yes. We nearly got married legally and hid it but decided for just one actual wedding ceremony. I don't see anything wrong with having that kind of emotion in the first few weeks of a break up... the realization that the person is lost.

I still functioned, but I lacked motivation. I'm better now.

And at the mention that I gave more emotionally than she did, that's what was one of the things that was confusing to me. She gave just as much as I did into this relationship, but something happened at the end. I don't know when she had doubts or what she is thinking. Like I've said.. I don't think I ever will.

Ike followed as a storm through the states and made it all the way to me up north and knocked out a lot of power. I'm currently without it. I wanted to text her and tell her to be safe, but I was proud of myself when I used restraint and said no. I'm sticking to no contact for a while.

[Cain]

She doesn't sound so great anyways. It's not completely his fault that she did the things she did. She is the individual with another significant other and she chose to act the way she did. The fiance needs to know so that he can break up with her.

I agree that the fiance should know so he could have broken it off, but I still think it's disrespectful.

[Cain]

Cain:

Repeat these words: _____insert your ex's name here______"I am letting you be gone from my life forever."

Repeat that by looking at yourself in the mirror until you can actually believe it.

Then get ready to watch a little Monday Night Football with the friends...

Maybe I'm an idiot, but I don't want her gone from my life forever.

I want the relationship we had before things turned out the way they did in the last two months.

And the only way that will happen is if she realizes the mistakes she's made after time away from me with no contact.

In the meantime, I'm going to move on with my life.

[survivor08]

You are attached, much like I was.
The difference is I just recently gotten my balls back (hence my signature.) Let her go completely, Only God or herself can change her mind. Let her go, let her be free and see if she boomerangs back to you. Date and have fun in the mean time.

My ex was not the smartest, nor the prittiest, nor the sexiest woman I dated. I now wonder why I was so lost in the idea of being in love with her. Love is irrational sometimes.