We like each other, but things are going slowly...what's next?

[Maverick88]

Hey,

I already posted a thread 2 months ago about this. Since then things have changed and would like to get some further advice.

So here it goes...

I am a military instructor in one of the field intelligence courses. Every few months we get both men and women to join. 3 Months ago I met this girl who was a soldier of mine, of course during the course we were in full "distance", but at the end of the course the soldiers decided to have a little party and invited all the instructors. That night she was all over me (It might be the alcohol, I am not sure... ^_^ ) and we really got close. We have great chemistry together.

To be sure if she really was interested I asked her friend about it the next day. The answer was positive.
Since then we have been talking on the phone on a regular basis. I asked her a few times out, but that didn't work out (one time I had stay at the base for the weekend and the other time she already made some other plans).

This was the point I got some doubts on where this was going to.

Now, a friend of mine (also an instructor) who talks once in a while with her (the girl I like) friend, asked her if she knows I have a crush on her friend (of course without my permission). She replied: "Yes, she know." So, he asked: "What about her? Does she has a crush on him". She replied: 'Yes, also".

At this point, I knew at least that it was worth to go on.

All this was around a month ago. Since then, I haven't call her too often. I asked her out (again), but she already agreed to visit her father for the weekend (Her parent are divorced).

A few days ago, I went to visit her at her base. I got like 6 soldiers there, so it wasn't only for her, but yes it was the main reason. =)
It was really, meeting all soldiers, and she was also very happy to see me, though we didn't have to chance to talk much, because she had a lot of work. Eventually, I had to leave, so we said goodbye with a hug and kiss (On the cheek of course, I'm not talking about a French one). And she apologized that she was too busy.

Since than, I have been thinking madly about her. I like her so much, but I really don't know where this is going to.
I am not sure if I should ask her out again, because it will just hurt me if I get a negative answer.
I thought of asking her friend again if she is still interested, because I am not sure about that right now.

What should be the best solution? Am I going too fast with this (It has been 2 Months since we started to talk on a regular basis)?

My personal opinion, would to ask her out once more next week (this week she stays at the base).

Any suggestions and recommendation are welcome.
I am really stuck.

By the way, I am 20 years old and she is 19.

[shh!]

Go ahead and ask her again. If she can't accept, then ask her if you should continue asking her out, or if you are just wasting your time. This will clue her in that you are losing patience.

[XPRabbit]

Why not ask her if she likes you, i mean her friends would know but whats the harm in getting the answer from her? i mean it's a risk but maybe you should weigh the option of not asking her out as much as revealing your feelings for her. maybe I'm wrong because i frankly have never had a girlfriend but this is just what it seems like to me. it would be easier on you if you got her feeling from her and not her friends because (and i know this) after the first time it comes up it's easier from that point on. it's harder to break a barrier then it is to cross a broken barrier.

correct me if I'm wrong please but i think the next time you ask her out, whether or not she can, you should try to uncover what you can by being a little more out there with your feelings.

[Maverick88]

Yeah, I understand.
I guess I will ask her if she wants to meet up. If I get some kind of excuse I will ask her straight on if I should continue asking her out or am I wasting my time every time.

I always tried not to show off my feelings too much, maybe I should change that.

[damn2008]

Hopefully you'll get some positive results but if a girl really wants to go out with you, she'll make the time to do so or suggest another time...it sounds like shes just telling you she has plans and that's it.

Perhaps she has a lot of other stuff going on that you don't know about that makes her hesistant.