In the name of the Father

[ecojeanne]

to add to that....the more i let my dad control my life the nicer he is to me....it is ridiculous....but some people need to contol others especially their grown up kids....because they THINK they kno better....i let him sometimes for his own satisfaction but ultimately big decisions in life are mine....and i tell him he's a bully when he goes too far....mom thankfully backs me up and then bad feelings subside....i think u may need to speak to ur mom maybe?

[ecojeanne]

and to add to it again! sorry i kno im going on...but i had great difficulties wth my dads controling ways up until a few years ago whn i realised the bigger picture was he was doing what he thought was out of love and guidance (wth the help of mom)....my older brother on the other hand didnt fair too well....he has turned into a bitter and twisted person who uses my mom to get at dad rather than appreciating what mom has tried to do for him...


u never kno maybe ur sis might also mediate based on the fact its probably about ur dads need for control?

[Dasein]

to add to that....the more i let my dad control my life the nicer he is to me....it is ridiculous....but some people need to contol others especially their grown up kids....because they THINK they kno better....i let him sometimes for his own satisfaction but ultimately big decisions in life are mine....and i tell him he's a bully when he goes too far....mom thankfully backs me up and then bad feelings subside....i think u may need to speak to ur mom maybe?

Well it's not so easy with my Mum. She is illiterate and has mild cerebral palsy. She has been very ill of late and has told me that she wants to die (another issue..oh dear!)

My mother has been a kept woman all of her life but completely and utterly dependant on my Father. My Father has been very controlling and has given her money that he deemed appropriate during her life. She has been so reliant that her own thoughts are more often than not my Fathers. I don't blame her for this. Every time she has tried to fight, my Father has systematically broken her down so now she just accepts because it is easier.

Anyway when my Mum told me about the will on the weekend I was stunned, shocked and then I hate to say it burst into tears. She said that she knows that it is my Father’s money and he can do with it what he wants and not to blame her. So my mother really isn't empowered to do anything. It is something I must accept.

[ecojeanne]

well Dasein....i really feel for u...i hope u dont let this decision affect ur life in bad psychological ways....its so not worth it....but i really do understand and very much feel for u

[ecojeanne]

again to add to it...ur dad is probably controlling ur sis in ways u cant see....and infact is using her as a tool against u and ur older sis....without actually caring about what the concequences are for her and the relationship she cld have wth u and ur older sis

[ecojeanne]

i have to say im completely consumed by this issue tonight because it has hit so close to home for me...so i can really relate knowing how a father has the ability to destroy a family if given the chance..even without him really realising

[shh!]

Where do you live, dasein? Because where *I* live, the husband and wife jointly own everything, and one partner cannot give everything away to anyone without theirpartner's consent... they can only give away their own, separate property.

[Dasein]

Where do you live, dasein? Because where *I* live, the husband and wife jointly own everything, and one partner cannot give everything away to anyone without theirpartner's consent... they can only give away their own, separate property.

In Australia. It's the same here. It has more to do with my parents relationship than any laws. My mother has allowed my Father to control everything over the years. She does struggle to understand money..for instance to explain to her how much a certain house may cost I will tell her it's 20 toyota cars or something to that effect.

My Mum has always been the one to sort of "stand up" for her kids but I think she is just giving up. She is 71, constantly ill and I think she has no more fight left in her. She herself told me that she wants to die. So I think her mind is elsewhere rather than on this issue.

[Tedel]

Then my advice would be "if you want to sow, then reap". Hug your father strongly, show him your loe and he'll quite likely show you his.

Thank you have a family who to hug, above all. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

[misombra]

i'm sorry about your situation. money and blood don't mix.

[shh!]

I corrected you

You need not have bothered. His spelling was correct.

Dasein - I think you got screwed in the family department. You should look for some replacements.

[Dasein]

You need not have bothered. His spelling was correct.

Dasein - I think you got screwed in the family department. You should look for some replacements.

Ha! Yeah i think you are right.

The fact that what Tedel is saying ie hug your Father blah blah...I have done that for my 33 years on earth. I am a kind person and I love my Father dearly (despite his shortcomings). I don't know what else I could possibly do..

[Only-virgins]

That sucks. Respect his decision and move on. The last thing you want is hate for your father who may not have very long left to live.

[shh!]

I don't think you need to respect his decision... you have to ACCEPT it, but respect? No.

[Tedel]

hahaha... to sew deals with clothing if my memory serves me well...