Best Friends or a Couple

[trbltom]

I need some help. Should I ask the question whether she has hopes for a relationship?? Let me explain.
I had known her for a number of years before my divorce. We always had fun tlaking and had a super crush on each other. Once the divorce happend I asked her out and it was magical. It worked great for a few months. I had many many problems with my son which led to her thinking I had no strenght and she called it off.
After six months of her calling about every three or four months we started seeing each other and have been for the last two years. We talked every day, spend most weekends doing stuff together. I would try to touch her or hold her hand and she rejects me. Weve kissed, made out a few times, hold hands sometimes., only when she wants to. She 50 and Im 52. She has nmade it clear that we are best freinds, not a couple. She wrote in my birthday card that she hopes that "most of my dreams" come true.
I would do anything for her, I love her very much and she knows it. Should I ask her what the future holds, does she have hope for us, I want to plan and talk about the future - and tell her that I want to work on what she thinks is wrong -----with me??

[ecojeanne]

well it kinda sounds like she doesnt see a romantic future with u...i kno its brutal....

[RelationshipBud]

It does sound like she isn't up for a relationship.

But, then again trying to read someone's actions can be misleading...

Your best option is to confront the matter head on, tell her how you feel and ask her if she wants the "relationship" or not.

If you don't ask, you may never truly know.


Good Luck,
Relationship-Buddy

[1averagejoe]

I agree with RelationshipBud. You may lose her as a friend...but you're giong to constantly and it's going to drive you crazy. Better to know and lose a friend then to never know.

[trbltom]

Thank you for your reply. Yes it can be brutal. Shes has given signs in both directions - weve had some really nice times togther lately. Im buying a house in her neighborhood - she says she looking forward to that and changing her life. I dont want to push but in alot of ways I need to know if we can work on our problems - if she is willing to take that chance....what to do??

[michzel creativ]

I think she's not looking for a relationship like lovers, I beat she's looking for a companionship.