How long is standard in your minds....

[lesa]

Don't generalize.

I was planning on living with my ex for a couple of years before we got married, only because we couldn't afford the actual wedding yet. It had nothing to do with the fact that I didn't want the commitment.

Ah huh. Sounds like a one of those reasons...

excuses, excuses...and not a good one at that....

[misombra]

me and my bf moved in together after 2 years. neither of us are into the marriage thing and we attribute our longevity to not being married.

[Kromat]

Silly young ones lol. See how men want their cake and eat it too (such a silly phase but anyhow….)

Corrections:
1.DATE, 2. RELATIONSHIP, 3. MEET THE PARENTS, 4. PROPOSE, 5. LIVE TOGETHER,
6. GET MARRIED, 7. HAVE KIDS, 8. BECOME GRANDPARENTS, 9. ETC


I don't disagree that you DO need to see what you are getting yourself into, but if you have a normal IQ range you can figure that out to a degree. You guys just want the woman without the 'permanent' commitment. You can't tell me otherwise.

Those corrections are what I would go for too, but in most cases 4 & 5 are switched around and problems occur.
I would even say that #7 KIDS, comes before #4 in some cases and you really need to evaluate where you want to be in your life before you even considerate something like that.

[lesa]

We are talking about moving in with a person that you have known for less than few years. I am not talking about people who are engaged.

Get engaged if you feel that you want her to live with you. Why not do that? Can't afford a ring (even a temp ring)? If you can't budget now then I would wait before living with you until you can get your finances together.

Anymore excuses?

[Gribble]

Dear god, yes I was joking. But I can promise you if I ever suffered severe head trauma and the thought of marriage suddenly seemed like a great idea, I'd definitely want to live with her first.

I know me. I know me very well. And I know that the face I reveal in public isn't the same as the one I keep secreted away in the comfort of my own home. Just because a girl thinks she loves the easy going guy she's dating does not mean she's going to love the Mr. Hyde she'll wind up with if she decides to move in.

[misombra]

marriage by no means ensures commitment or that you will be together when you are old.

[lesa]

me and my bf moved in together after 2 years. neither of us are into the marriage thing and we attribute our longevity to not being married.

That's fine. I did not believe in marriage either...and is still working on whether I will. I think I do now but depending on what are our goals for the relationship. If children are planned then I will require marriage.

[shh!]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/23800-3-years-guy.html#post365768[/url]

Didn't we just have this same conversation not long ago?

[lesa]

Just because a girl thinks she loves the easy going guy she's dating does not mean she's going to love the Mr. Hyde she'll wind up with if she decides to move in.

If it was a serious relationship then I hope she knows you far more than the dating you. I would never trust the dating you as the full character of a person.


Anyhow, I don't think I was understood correctly, .

[misombra]

i know we've discussed it before. but i have differing thoughts on the matter and wanted to make sure they were represented.

[misombra]

That's fine. I did not believe in marriage either...and is still working on whether I will. I think I do now but depending on what are our goals for the relationship. If children are planned then I will require marriage.

that's nice. i know a lot of divorced, single moms though.

[lesa]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/23800-3-years-guy.html#post365768[/url]

Didn't we just have this same conversation not long ago?

Yep, I thought the same before I became wiser in how relationships and stages work. They will understand, too. I am almost sure that most (if not any) of these people who are for living together in the early phases of the relationship will not get married to this person but WILL in fact married the woman or man who does not follow this plan of theirs. That is, if they get married.

[lesa]

that's nice. i know a lot of divorced, single moms though.

Living together doesn't guarantee anything as well. We are f*cked no matter.

I'm just giving my opinion.

I enjoyed living together...until they got on my nerves and the same will probably happen in marriage but at least you have something to think about before jumping out of the house.

[lesa]

me and my bf moved in together after 2 years. neither of us are into the marriage thing and we attribute our longevity to not being married.

I just noticed that you basically did what I stated earlier :

If I imagine spending my life with them, I would not move in until at least after engagement with a wedding date approaching.

If I was much older such as 55+ or if I do not imagine a lifetime with them then I would wait until after the 'honeymoon' stages aka infatuation stage which can be about 1-2 years long....so after 2 years if I was younger and probably 9 months - 1 year if I was around 55 years of age.

[Cain]

Ah huh. Sounds like a one of those reasons...

excuses, excuses...and not a good one at that....

How?

I wanted to marry her. There was no hiding the commitment.

I'm sorry, but both she and I had more in mind than some cheap ass wedding.