Feeling a connection with someone...the female perspective?

[odkits]

I was wondering if I could get a female perspective on feeling a connection with someone without knowing or talking to him/her previously? The reason I ask is because I met a girl earlier this year and I immediately felt a connection with her without ever speaking to her before and this was the first time something like that had ever happened to me. I was also very attracted to her but this connection went well beyond any physical attraction.

As strange as it sounds, I just felt at that very moment that I would get to know her on a personal and intimate level, and, lo and behold, several months later, we have spent a countless number of hours getting to know each other. We seem to have an ease and comfort level when talking and hanging out and the two of us have been completely honest with each other. I am able to tell her things that I’ve never even dreamt about revealing to anyone and there is absolutely no hesitation on my part about telling her embarrassing stories or habits. Also throughout our conversations, we’ve discovered that we are so similar in many of the important aspects of our lives – family and friend relationships, hopes and goals for the future, our faiths, beliefs, morals, and values, etc.

She even mentioned during one of our conversations that she felt the same connection to me (before I ever mentioned the connection I felt to her) and she realized early on that I was completely different from any other guy she had ever met. She has since become one of my best friends and I have also developed other feelings for her but I won’t go into that now because the situation gets a bit complicated. Anyway, has this happened to anyone else and what became of this connection?

[Cain]

I don't believe any of this crap.

It was lust.

It wasn't some psychic connection.

[starbuck]

OP, are you having a relationship with this woman now? Or is she just a friend?

[lesa]

Anyway, has this happened to anyone else and what became of this connection?

Yes! It's just another form of attraction...just beyond the physical but still attraction nonetheless. You won't know if you are compatible until you talk and know each other.

[Cain]

Yes! It's just another form of attraction...just beyond the physical but still attraction nonetheless. You won't know if you are compatible until you talk and know each other.

Attraction, sure.

What I got from his post, however, was that it was way more than attraction. He felt like he was destined to know her on a more intimate level.

Which is what I think is BS.

[lesa]

^^^ okay, I'm lazy but hyperactive today. I'll admit it...that I haven't been reading the posts completely hehe. In fact, I just noticed that I did not completely read the post I quoted.

I need to stop with sugar drinks and go back to my healthy water .

[odkits]

Attraction, sure.

What I got from his post, however, was that it was way more than attraction. He felt like he was destined to know her on a more intimate level.

Which is what I think is BS.

By intimate, I didn't mean sexual, if that's what you're referring to. In fact, the two of us share pretty conservative attitudes when it comes to sex so our attraction really had nothing to do with sex.

[shh!]

I've felt that feeling before... it's the best feeling in the world. It's just called "chemistry", and I don't think anything except a mother's love for her child is stronger. It is also the reason people bounce from relationship to relationship - they are trying to find that feeling again, because it doesn't last.

[odkits]

OP, are you having a relationship with this woman now? Or is she just a friend?

At the moment we are just friends because there are some complications in our situation. There is a five-year age gap between us and I've already graduated from college and am working while she is just entering college. We've decided to remain friends for now because I didn't think it was fair for me to limit her in any way, in terms of meeting new people and living the college life. I'm certain we'll remain friends and keep in contact but it's impossible for me to say what will happen.

[starbuck]

I can't say I've ever felt this. I've felt chemistry and lust, yes, but it's never been immediate like the way you described. It usually has to work its way up to a slow burn for me.

What kind of answers are you hoping to seek here?

[Cain]

By intimate, I didn't mean sexual, if that's what you're referring to. In fact, the two of us share pretty conservative attitudes when it comes to sex so our attraction really had nothing to do with sex.

No, what I'm saying is what you felt was lust. Lust doesn't have to be sexual.

I just don't believe in that "love at first sight" nonsense which is what I derived from your post.

[odkits]

I can't say I've ever felt this. I've felt chemistry and lust, yes, but it's never been immediate like the way you described. It usually has to work its way up to a slow burn for me.

What kind of answers are you hoping to seek here?

To be honest, I'm not looking for any specific answers. This is just a unique situation for me and I wanted to know if anyone else had something similar happen to him/her and what became of their situations.

Not to go on too much of a tangent, but I've been in love and in serious relationships before, but I've honestly never experienced anything like this. To have an immediate connection with someone and to feel with a sense of certainty that I would get to know and understand her is just a bizarre feeling to me. I guess I just realized what a unique situation this was when she mentioned that she felt the same connection upon meeting me.

So yeah, I'm not looking for anything in particular.

[odkits]

No, what I'm saying is what you felt was lust. Lust doesn't have to be sexual.

I just don't believe in that "love at first sight" nonsense which is what I derived from your post.

I'm not disagreeing with you but I didn't mean to suggest that this was "love at first sight." In fact, I don't believe in the notion myself.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my original post, but this initial connection wasn't a feeling that I loved or understood this person at all. It was more of an intuition that I would get to know her. It took several long conversations for us to discover the similarities we share and for our friendship to develop. I actually thought I might have been crazy for feeling that such a connection exists had she not also brought it up.

[Cain]

I'm not disagreeing with you but I didn't mean to suggest that this was "love at first sight." In fact, I don't believe in the notion myself.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my original post, but this initial connection wasn't a feeling that I loved or understood this person at all. It was more of an intuition that I would get to know her. It took several long conversations for us to discover the similarities we share and for our friendship to develop. I actually thought I might have been crazy for feeling that such a connection exists had she not also brought it up.

Ok... then I've done the same thing.

But I blame it on confidence more than I do some premonition.

[lesa]

I'm not disagreeing with you but I didn't mean to suggest that this was "love at first sight." In fact, I don't believe in the notion myself.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my original post, but this initial connection wasn't a feeling that I loved or understood this person at all. It was more of an intuition that I would get to know her. It took several long conversations for us to discover the similarities we share and for our friendship to develop. I actually thought I might have been crazy for feeling that such a connection exists had she not also brought it up.

Yes, I have odkits. Whatever it may be called, yes I have. And it definitely wasn't a 'love at first sight' feeling. I never had those.