In love with photo model

[ilovesiana]

I am hopelessly in love with a photo model ( dont get the idea wrong not american models far different) . She is four years (22) older than me , from another "class" , dimension , group or whatever you think of . She was even voted in top 10 of the hottest girls in my country by a magazine . Since i saw her photo i am totally in love with her . Her face is one of a kind , her eyes are deeper than the space , her smile is a killer one . I found information about her i even had the stupidity to send her some of my lyrics , i lost my mind . Worst i lost my life , i cannot sleep last days , here now i am writing again this after midnight i am tired but my mind screams don't fall asleep i need to think . The problem is she is everything for me , but i cant get to her . Like i said she is from other class and who am i ? I don't even have money i am feeling like i am some kind of a weirdo and all my life is black i dont want to think of tomorrow if i am not with her . Everytime i look her photo i realize she is just not for me , but my inside keeps the fight , keep me wishing and dreaming and thinking out my options . But every ****ing time i look her photos my courage gets dissolved and the only thing i want is to suicide . My heart is in pain like someone is cutting me through , i can't breath i feel so lonely and i just don't see the reason to live another day . Feels like my heart is gone but i am yearning for her . I write her emails , i hope she read them and respond that could lift me up . I tried doing anything , working , gaming , everything including porn movies ( i could not even get hard ) . I feel i have serious mental problems she is like stuck into my head and she is locked inside there . I say too many things i know but i have need to say them . It's strange when i look her i see the perfect i see everything i needed in her eyes , at the same time i feel like i am nothing , i feel like creep , ****ing up , with no possibilities . I even cant eat i hardly eated half sandwich today and nothing more . I am collapsing fast ! Everytime i see her ( which is almost all my day i do nothing but staring at her photos ) i know and feel with all my being she is the ONE . I see through her , see the real she behind all her beauty , she is like me . And i have not even met her . So don't tell me forget her or something , it ain't possible . Give me a reason to move up ... move up my way , move up to her . Help me please i feel lost with no direction for my life .

addit
Please dont tell me photos are made up don't judge book by its cover . I have info for her , i have skills atleast in photshop i can differ real fro made up photo . Also i want add i really want and i feel i want to fight for her and for my future . If i give up like this then all this stuff was nothing but a crush with star and i dont think it is , even if have not met her . I want her not only for her physical attraction , not only for sex or something like this . I am ready to bleed for her , ready to die . There is no reason to live if cant be with her . I'm very depressed this days and every wrong step may be last for me . I want her to be my lady for the graduation party ( after high school , there was special word for this but right now can't recall it ) So I have 7 months Other problems are that she lives in the capital and i in town with 20 000 people Don't get me wrong she is not what you may think for models , she is studing in college , talks 4 languages , i even have friend studing in her college , he said she is goddes but not for me .
pp i post here cause i really feel my heart broken without even dating ... (if not for here pls mods move it )

for last really excuse my english it is bad by default but it is almoast 2 hours after midnight and i am like this from days
HELP . ADVICES .

[Cain]

I sense desperation.

And I think you're a little pathetic.

Women don't like desperation.

You're ready to die for a woman you've never met... or even talked to? lol?

[Gribble]

You're scary. Stay away from that girl or she'll get a restraining order on your crazy ass.

[shh!]

Ooh, a creepy stalker!

You should seek some professional help before you hurt someone.

[Yacker]

Dude you sound really crazy. You definitely have some mental issue you don't even know her. It's mostly based on pictures and what you see in her eyes. Have you ever had a girl friend before? It sounds like the photos are not good for you and you need to burn them immediately. Time to move on, this is not going to work at all for you. She probably can get any guy she wants so your chances are REALLY slim to none and you must realize that and just forget it. You really need to work on yourself and your happiness that doesn't involved a woman like her. Get yourself together already before you end up dead and in jail for stalking her to death, because it sounds like you are going in that direction. The scary thing to her I bet is there are 100 other guys just like you out there feeling like they are gonna die without her. I hope that girl doesn't die.

I am curious though can you link a photo to this thread. I want to see what all the fuss is about, show us photos and we'll help you see the ugly side to her.

[ilovesiana]

I more likely need someone to say go fight . I am not stalker or something thats ... need no comment . Yeah i know i am crazy how would you feel someone overtake your mind , memmory and everything you can't think for something else . I am not going to hurt or force anything . I am only danger for myself ... for now ...

Please someone to encourage me , i already choose the path . In moments like this friends should help but they dont they just say the same things like you .

rockalt.com/muzik/siana/hos.jpg
rockalt.com/muzik/siana/siana7.jpg

[Only-virgins]

Wow, she is really gorgeous in the second picture. You probably don't want to know what I think though, have you seen this girl in person and got this feeling or is it strictly through a magazine and pictures? I know the feeling you are going through but from just pictures....that is hard to believe you know? You need to clear some things up. By the way, what country or State are you in and where are you studying?

i even have friend studing in her college , he said she is goddes but not for me .

Your friend is a jack ass. Of course she is not for you, your friends just like everyone else's friends always want you to be with a girl that is a lower standard than either A.) the girl they are dating or B.) what they think is good. This is why getting a date set up by my friends always failed. How many ****ing times do I have to tell them I don't like blonds? wtfbbq!

Ooh, a creepy stalker!

You should seek some professional help before you hurt someone.

Great, why can't we at love forums consider ourselves as professional help damn it?! Are we not good enough?! we have some great minds on here!

[ilovesiana]

Bulgaria (****ing country) , and you seem to be Polish .
3 Minutes ? I am starring whole day i am not doing my job . I even managed to sleep some 2-3 hours when i wake up i was looking her again . By the way while in vacation she is working the same like me , sport journalism (well different way but ... ) . I am using my free week right now to fix my things . By the way i already said i contacted her , its up to her check her mail and respond me one or other way . I would be really happy to meet her

[Only-virgins]

Bulgaria (****ing country) , and you seem to be Polish .
3 Minutes ? I am starring whole day i am not doing my job . I even managed to sleep some 2-3 hours when i wake up i was looking her again . By the way while in vacation she is working the same like me , sport journalism (well different way but ... ) . I am using my free week right now to fix my things . By the way i already said i contacted her , its up to her check her mail and respond me one or other way . I would be really happy to meet her

I mainly looked at her because you wouldn't believe how much my Cousin in Poland looks like her. It is like a spitting image. At least the second picture. What did you tell her in your e-mails? Did you just confront her with the truth?

[devilz advocate]

Whew! how desperate you are! but hey, we have the same feeling now, were both "desperada", lol!

how come you fell in love with her just in the picture? falling in love or just an admiration? why not minimize looking at her pictures to lessen your feelings towards her. Enjoy yourself doing something else.

I am ready to bleed for her , ready to die . There is no reason to live if cant be with her .

you'll bleed and ready to die for a person that you haven't met yet?How stupid!

Bear this:
Shes on the top and your just in the middle.
Shes very popular and your just one common (?) person.
its impossible that what you think may come true. So please stop doing that. Your just hurting yourself!

[Gribble]

OV, I would like to meet your cousin.

[ilovesiana]

You don't understand i have nothing left i am alone , my parents died in car accident , i turned 18 and i am on my own . I was at least recieving some money like help from the country till i turned 18 . And now what ? I have still one year to study how i am supposed to survive alone ? Its really hard , with the help of my uncle i already sold one of our apartaments , got something like a part-time job that i can do from home . Whats more depressing than this to be alone ? Of course i am not in mood and i have not point for living . To tell you the truth before month i was ready to sell the last apartament and to buy tickets for Norway , i even filled the application for the ticket , there was just one button to press , i didn't do it and i am glad i didn't . Now you don't understand i never said she is that famous or something like this , just other class , i need to catch up . I am absolutely sure she is not one of the mainstream girls in the country . Please don't judge by the word model . And even sound stupid i am ready to "bleed" for someone that i love so much . I am turning in fanatic about , her i can't w8 she respond if she dont , i wait her studing year start i go meet her there ( now that is stalking ? ) She will be lift up or end for me . I already left all the things behind me . Its annihilating , everything or nothing , i will give it a fight , that's not impossible .

Shes on the top and your just in the middle

Then i have to climb up ? I am not that type of guy who become reconciled easy . But you seem to be . I have to overcome my the side that says me "not for you" .
And guys , boys do cry .
Only-virgins well i writed her very long mails explaining much stuff , one or two songs that i writed ( lol she is real muse )

pp okay i really gonna force things i just love her without knowing her / looks like i got much more confident today /
... welcome to balkans ...

[devilz advocate]

Calm down ilovesiana!

Quote:
Shes on the top and your just in the middle
Then i have to climb up ?

common sense please!

[Lipp]

I think that if you find out what restaurant she usually goes to you can walk up to her table and loudly ask her to marry you. Certainly she will accept and the two of you will live happily ever after.

...

/sarcasm.

[starbuck]

ILS, it does sound like you're a stalker in the making, I hate to say it. It's fine to write songs about her, and think about her in a fantasy now and then, but quite another thing to move to her country and follow her around. Is that the kind of person you want to be?

You need to distinguish fantasy from reality. Wean yourself off of looking at pictures of her and thinking about her. You're just making yourself crazy with your obsession. No one should be THAT wrapped up in someone else, be it real person, model, or movie star.

Good luck!