devistated

[Cat8]

My relationship has ended. Its a long story envolving me breaking up with him coz he couldn't give me 100% due to what I felt was him not being fully over his ex. I told him I was breaking up with him and exactly why I was breaking up with him, then sent him away to think about what he wanted.

He came back. And told me he couldn't give me what I deserved.

I am devistated. I honestly thought he would fight for me. Now I just feel so alone and empty. I wonder if I made the right choices. I just didn't want to be walked over like I have in the past.

I really don't know how to deal with this.

[Rach]

well, you made a good choice. If you stayed with him, and he wasn't really giving you his all 100%, then what's the point really? It's good you found this out soon, so you can move on.

Move on and find someone who will really appreaciate you for you! And treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

[Cybog]

Well, thats one way to look at it.

Another way to look at it is how most normal people do in this day and age.

First of all, I will assume you are over the age of 18. I do this, because only high school kids, and "children" in general have absolutely no concept of what it is to love, what it is to be IN love, and no idea of what a real relationship or commitment is.

Sorry kids. All you really know is how to play "grown up", and until you have matured in years, you cannot force yourself into any fiscad of truth and successfully convince yourself that you know what love really is.

What really confuses me in this: You break up with him, and then come here expecting sympathy because he didnt come rushing back to you after you dumped him? What did you expect? Him to leave, and come back to you crying and pleading that you forgive HIM for all the bad things HE has done? Quite an ego boost eh?

I have in the past played a really fun game called "Reality". The game is played like this. Any time a girl says "I look fat in this shirt" I tell her yes, she does. Any time I hear the words "Man I need to lose some weight", I tilt my head at her and agree that she could stand to lose a few pounds. And I will be damned if any girl ever wanted to "dump me" and I didnt take her dead serious.

Sorry lady, but if you are going to make your bed, you had better be damn ready to lie in it.

Here is another newsflash for you lady: No guy, no matter what he tells you, if he REALLY loved his ex, will EVER forget her, or be 100% "over" her.

Granted, if he pined over her and pitched a bitch all the time, that isnt fair to you. BUT, its obvious you would have realized this before things got "serious" between the 2 of you, right? (Again, this is assuming you are quasi-adults in a "real life" relationship)

Who is to blame here?

[Satch]

I tend to agree with you Cybog. My gf recently dumped me and I'd hate to think that it was because she was trying to 'test' my love for her. If she was, I suppose that she has got confirmation from me now.

But it seems that females have this knack for turning their feelings on and off whenever they want to, and it frustrates the hell out of us guys who care.

It seems as if you were trying to test your bf Cat8, and it backfired. You need to think through things more carefully in future, before making these big decisions again.

I only wish I could tell this to my ex...

[Cat8]

My actions were no test.
Could you have stayed in a relationship where you knew your other half had feelings that weren't soley for you?
I did what I did because I couldn't keep pretending it didn't hurt.
Yes, I had hoped that maybe he would see what he was doing and want to make it work.
Yes, I am devistated that he didn't.
But mostly I am proud of myself for standing up for myself rather then letting myself be walked over.
If that is selfish, then I guess I screwed up big time.

[swimmingNreverie]

I know what you mean Cat... it took a lot of courage to get out of a relationship where you really care about the person.. and no matter how much they hurt you in the relationship, its only natural for you to secretly hope that they'll come to their senses and come back to sweep you off your feet... to realize that they made the mistake of driving you away--and that he does want to give you everything you deserve

thats what any girl (maybe guy?) hopes for when she's just gotten out of a relationship.

too bad it hardly happens

[Metalhead6six6]

Yeah, I'm still waiting

[Canibus]

Cybog - she didn't just dump him in a childish manner
She said she told him why she was and for him to think
if he could give her 100% to which he came back and said
no he couldn't. She was just hoping that he did want her 100%
and could give her what she wanted. It was a brave thing to do cat
and it will hold you in good for future relationships.
Why settle for second best eh?

[Cybog]

I didnt say it was "ok" to settle for anything less than what you deserve.

I said it was childish to "test" your boyfriend and hope that he comes back to you after you dump him.

If you have problems with getting 110% out of your relationship, then it is YOUR fault for not communicating that to the person you are with, or at least doing your part to make everything perfect if you are the one to blame.

[Soulkiss_29]

I really don't blame CAT8 for dumping his a$$. Anyone who carries excess emotional baggage to a new relationship deserves to get kicked to the curb!