My girl is flirting (or more)

[darkstrk]

My girl is having a heavy dose of contact with someone from her past. I suspect it's an ex, but I'm not sure.

They talked on the phone a lot when I wasn't around her. They IM'ed almost every night, and they emailed each other when they did not IM.

As it happens, I have (unauthorized) access to her email account. I found shocking things there that suggest she's flirting heavily with him. More importantly, I found out that they have had some rendezvous in the past and are planning another one.

She still treats me great, tells me she loves me, etc. but I just can't get the thought of her with him out of my mind.

Any thoughts?

[starbuck]

This doesn't bode well. She sounds like she's either cheated or is about to. Why don't you confront her point blank?

I don't know how I feel about you hacking into her email. I'm tempted to say that that it is wrong, cheating or no. You should be able to trust your instincts without going down that road.

[Citycat]

You must talk with her. It's not ordinary that someone who lets you know her e-mail password hides a rival from you.

[Cain]

You must talk with her. It's not ordinary that someone who lets you know her e-mail password hides a rival from you.

Probably because she didn't give him the password. He said he had unauthorized access.

OP, you shouldn't be checking her email. If she's hiding this contact from you, though, then it is cause to be suspicious and suspect that she's doing something bad. She should have been open to you about this.

[Illusional]

f*ck her once more and cut her loose.

raverboy

[shh!]

Your trust has been broken. Usually, that means the relationship is doomed... you won't be able to trust her anymore. What good is a relationship with no trust?

[boobaa]

If you talk about it right now, she may break out of it, but that is only happening because you interferred, see if it will happen if you don't interfere... Whats the point of making someone to not do something? If they want to do something like that, the spark is already gone, you may change her mind but it wouldn't be 'free will'.

[Cain]

If you talk about it right now, she may break out of it, but that is only happening because you interferred, see if it will happen if you don't interfere... Whats the point of making someone to not do something? If they want to do something like that, the spark is already gone, you may change her mind but it wouldn't be 'free will'.

If she and her ex really have something, confronting her won't change anything. It might not happen now, but it'll happen later on. She has to want to stay clean.

[Illusional]

like i said before, just have sex with her and dump her already. i wouldn't want to bother with a girl who i can't trust.

raverboy

[boobaa]

If she and her ex really have something, confronting her won't change anything. It might not happen now, but it'll happen later on. She has to want to stay clean.

Thats what I meant.

[anachronistic]

My girl is having a heavy dose of contact with someone from her past. I suspect it's an ex, but I'm not sure.

They talked on the phone a lot when I wasn't around her. They IM'ed almost every night, and they emailed each other when they did not IM.

As it happens, I have (unauthorized) access to her email account. I found shocking things there that suggest she's flirting heavily with him. More importantly, I found out that they have had some rendezvous in the past and are planning another one.

She still treats me great, tells me she loves me, etc. but I just can't get the thought of her with him out of my mind.

Any thoughts?

Jesus, what do you want us to tell you? I mean, are you a doormat or something?

There's two things you can do to keep your dignity; you can either seek revenge, or you can break up with her and make her feel jealous and like she's really ****ed up.

If you're going to seek revenge, start actively seeking out another girlfriend. When you go out with your girlfriend in public, make sure it's noticeable you're checking out other women. Start detaching yourself from this girl. Start using her to fulfill your sexual desires and all. The sex should only be about you; don't go down on her or finger her anymore. If you do, it should only be so that you can get some. Don't worry about getting her off. Your only concern should be getting yourself off. If you finally do meet another girl, start dating her. If it seems like she is a good girl, break up with your girlfriend, and cut all contact off.

Or just break up with her and try to find another girlfriend. Quite simple. She'll get jealous, and she'll wish she hadn't done what she did, even if she never fesses up. Don't ever go back to her. Don't even be friends.

[Dasein]

How about checking for the next rendevous and showing up?

I would LOVE to see her face.

[devilz advocate]

Talk to her bout what you have discovered from her email. Ask her why is she doing that? Also, ask her if she still loves his "ex". And from her answers, you will know what to do with your relationship.

Say sorry after for hacking her password..

[starbuck]

This thread kind of reminds me of that show "Cheaters" where they do surveillance on people to catch them cheating. Then of course they confront the cheater and sometimes the cheatee, too. The last episode I saw a woman chased her cheating boyfriend all over the bowling alley and then out the door and down the street. It was hard not to laugh. It's a guilty pleasure yes.

Question to the forum: If you could have access to your S.O.'s email, and suspected he/she of cheating, would you check it?

[anachronistic]

I did it once, and I'll never do it again; not only did I discover that my girlfriend at the time was not cheating on me, but she caught me checking her email and she got really pissed off. She eventually did cheat on me though, and I found out another way. If I get that suspicious again, I'd probably just break up with the girl. Hey, I wouldn't like it if someone was reading my mail.