please help me

[timothyh12]

ill make it short. i have been dating my girl for 2.5 years and am very happy the things i want in a women are exactly what she has she is beautiful and very sweet. we alread discused marraige and i know i want to marry her but i will get excited and then another day i get scared. i am 21 and she is 23 we are in the military to. anyway i want to ask her hand in marraige next july my question is why do i feel like im scared. i was homeschooled to so that might have a factor and also my mom tells me your to young to get married and blah blah. what is the right age to get married there is no true number it is on the person making the decision. please reply and let me know

[Junket]

There is no right age, but in this modern time? You're better to take things slow and see how things go after you're past the honeymoon stage.

Do you both plan on continuing your careers in the military?

[shh!]

The divorce rates drop significantly for couples who marry closer to the age of 30. I agree with your mom - you are too young. Maybe this is why you get scared? It is your conscience warning you that you are very possibly about to make a big mistake.

[timothyh12]

i do she will be getting out i am sure i want to be with her and 23 is not young to get married

[lesa]

Is there a particular reason why you want to get married sooner rather than later?

[shh!]

23 is not young to get married

Unless you belong to some harsh religious group, yes it is.

[timothyh12]

being in the military you possibly cant date for five years and expect the women of your dreams to be in the same state may i say same countrie

[lesa]

being in the military you possibly cant date for five years and expect the women of your dreams to be in the same state may i say same countrie

What does that mean and why would marriage solve that?

[Cain]

What does that mean and why would marriage solve that?

He means that in the military, units deploy often whether overseas or to another base stateside. The chances of them being at the same duty station in five years is really slim. If they were married, they wouldn't be sent to different duty stations. The military would have them remain in the same unit and the same duty station together.

[lesa]

He means that in the military, units deploy often whether overseas or to another base stateside. The chances of them being at the same duty station in five years is really slim. If they were married, they wouldn't be sent to different duty stations. The military would have them remain in the same unit and the same duty station together.

Oh, very interesting. I see your motivations to marry now, timothyh12.

[1averagejoe]

I didn't know that about being married in the military. That's definitely a good reason. But like others have said, I still think it may be too early to be getting married. But I definitely see your reason behind wanting to get married so you two can stay together.

Damn that's a tough decision.

[timothyh12]

thanks averagejoe for not being a dick bout it and understanding you really cant argue about this unless you have been in the military and faced this and no tht is not why we are getting married that is to the other commmenters. we love each other and that is that. my qeustion was how do i over come commitment issues that question is to averagejoe

[Cain]

Marriage is a very, very big step and so it's only natural that you're going to be scared. If you think that she's the one that you want to spend your life with and you know she feels the same way, go ahead and propose. Just do it nicely. It's going to be something she'll remember for the rest of her life so don't make it tacky.

[timothyh12]

Marriage is a very, very big step and so it's only natural that you're going to be scared. If you think that she's the one that you want to spend your life with and you know she feels the same way, go ahead and propose. Just do it nicely. It's going to be something she'll remember for the rest of her life so don't make it tacky.

thank you for the respnse and yes i am sure and so is she we have really good communication and we are very open to each other she is ready and so am i yet i am not going to ask her until november next year

[Cain]

thank you for the respnse and yes i am sure and so is she we have really good communication and we are very open to each other she is ready and so am i yet i am not going to ask her until november next year

Good luck.

Just know that you are working against the odds. Most people your (our) age that got married felt the same way you did... before they divorced.