I have been with my boyfriend nearly 4 years and think I am about to lose him. He only confessed last year that he has a fetish for human waste, I thought it was a joke a first but realised he was serious, he said I was the first he has confided in. I have done it a few times vice versa to please him but sometimes end up wretching. I asked him if he has done it with other girls and it comes out now that he has and the first girlfriend he had from 14-16 did it but was like me and wretched and only other serious girlfriends he did it with. He did it with his ex of 6 months who I wasn’t keen on and was very dopey yet didn’t mention she felt sick so that made me feel threatened.
He said he asked me so late in the relationship as I was a virgin at first and he didn’t want to scare me off. I was crying yesterday saying it’s something I’m not happy about it and he says it could cause problems me not wanting to do it as its part of him. I feel like now he is using this against me as I made him wait so long for sex. I just feel awful as we have built up 4 years of our lives together, I love everything else about him but he finds this important. I am wondering now if he other relationships ended because of this. I don’t think I could carry on if we broke up. I am scared if I leave him I will end up meeting someone else who could be into all this as well. Please help.