I Need Help With The Girl I'm In Love With.

[pillowwar]

We were together for about 3 years. About a month ago she broke up with me. Why? My fault. 5 months before that I cheated on her. Nothing sexual but cheating just the same. We broke up for a few weeks but got back together. I found out she had slept with this guy while I was away. So that made the next 4 months rocky as hell. So last month she broke up with me. She said she didn't want to talk to me and to not call her. It was hard... HORRIBLE! I felt like it was the end. However about three to four days later she calls me. We end up hanging out a few times over the month. We even had sex a few times but we're not together. We start getting really really close again but then she backs off all the sudden saying it's too easy to fall in love with me. So now nothing but phone calls and church together. Anycase as friends she calls me every night just to fall asleep on the phone with me on the other line. I don't mind really! But what I'm getting at is she's mad at me for the past but she still calls me every day even when she has nothing to say and she still wants me on the end of the line at night. Once I stayed with her until the morning sun came up. Please understand I love this girl very very very very much. We were going to get married but I ****ed it up. Is there a chance to win her heart back? If we're not together but she calls like she does is there a chance??? I need to know what to do. I want to chase her but I'm afraid she'll run away. I just want to ask her out for one date. Start over. Show her that the person I was is not the person I am and that I needed to grow up and that I am growing up. I need her...

And sorry this thing was so long. Funny thing is I'm actually holding back alot.

[Mish]

Talk to her and cut down to the chase. It won't be easy due to the history you have together, but you two will have to come to a decision of where to go to from here. If it's in one direction good, if in the other don't be afraid to let go completely.

[miSSleepy]

Try talking to her about all this.

[Only-virgins]

Let me get this straight.... She sleeps with another guy and you are sorry and want to apologize? Pathetic.

[Yacker]

OV, Sounds like he cheated then when they broke up first time she slept with another guy (technically not cheating on him because people move on quicker than others sometimes ) So no she didn't really cheat on him imo, he cheated on her and she can't get over it.

[Cain]

It sounds to be like she's lonely and is using you to fill that emotional void until she finds someone else.

[pillowwar]

thank you everyone. I'm still lost but at least I have some point to ponder on.

[littlewing]

It sound like she's doing a terrible job forgetting you, before you talk to her think it over there are things that need to be changed before getting back together. But one way or another the two of you have to talk about it

[IndiReloaded]

Let me get this straight.... She sleeps with another guy and you are sorry and want to apologize? Pathetic.

Read the post again, OV:

We were together for about 3 years. About a month ago she broke up with me. Why? My fault. 5 months before that I cheated on her.

Given the fact that 5 months passed I can only guess he either lied or she somehow found out.

PW, you should tell her sincerely you are sorry for what you did (assuming you are) but you should mean what you say. And without expectation for getting back together. In other words, if you truly believe you were in the wrong, you need to apologize without an ulterior motive. If you are only apologizing to get something out of it (i.e. getting back w/her) then you have a lot of growing up to do still.

For many ppl, cheating is a deal-breaker no matter what. So you may have to resign yourself to this fact. Lesson learned & life goes on. Try not to cheat on the next girl. Good luck.

[Cain]

Read the post again, OV:



Given the fact that 5 months passed I can only guess he either lied or she somehow found out.

PW, you should tell her sincerely you are sorry for what you did (assuming you are) but you should mean what you say. And without expectation for getting back together. In other words, if you truly believe you were in the wrong, you need to apologize without an ulterior motive. If you are only apologizing to get something out of it (i.e. getting back w/her) then you have a lot of growing up to do still.

For many ppl, cheating is a deal-breaker no matter what. So you may have to resign yourself to this fact. Lesson learned & life goes on. Try not to cheat on the next girl. Good luck.

Just because I'm bored... shouldn't "i.e." be "e.g." in your post since you were giving an example?

[IndiReloaded]

No. I.e. is latin for "that is", as in "that is, he wants to get back w/her" which is why he's apologizing. It wasn't an example, which implies there are other examples I could have replaced that one with.

Anything else, Cai-cai-chan?

[Cain]

I know what i.e. is.

You still used an example. Whether there could have been fifty more examples or only one more example, it was still an example.

BTW, I still hate you. <3

[IndiReloaded]

I know what i.e. is.

You still used an example. Whether there could have been fifty more examples or only one more example, it was still an example.

BTW, I still hate you. <3

Shrug. You'll hate a lot of ppl in your life, its inevitable. I think its funny you let things get to you so much. In 20 years you'll wish you made friends better & didn't close so many doors.

[Cain]

Shrug. You'll hate a lot of ppl in your life, its inevitable. I think its funny you let things get to you so much. In 20 years you'll wish you made friends better & didn't close so many doors.

Meh, I was joking. That's why I put the <3 there.

I mean, I don't like you. But I don't hate you either.

But then again, I don't really like anyone here.

I don't do "like."

Is that normal?

[IndiReloaded]

What is <3 supposed to mean then?

As for like, Cain, I can relate. But I find it surprising in someone of your chosen profession. I'm trained as a scientist; we aren't known for our ppl skills. However, I also believe that more ppl CLAIM to 'like' ppl more than they actually do b/c they think they are supposed to. Its a guilt driven thing, IMO. I suspect that when you say you like someone, you actually mean it. I'm the same way.