how does a girl deal with unavailable guys?

[celine]

so..i have been confused with these questions for a while...hopefully some of you guys can help me out...thanks!!!!

there are two guys A and B. both are taken. they met their girlfriends before they met me.

Now A and B start being nice to me...let me give a bit details in case i just think too much...

A. is very patient to me and asks me whether I am avoiding him...accidentally touched my arms three out of 5 times when we are together for work discussion


B. took me to the beach, drove to the hill for views, went to grocery shopping


so how should i deal with them? should I stay away or what rules can be applied to this type of situations? say, if they asked me to go out (not a date)alone, should I go?

[starbuck]

Celine, first of all, why would you want to deal with unavailable guys?

[Aegis]

Quick! PM Cain right now about this before his attitude improves!

[Cain]

No way!

You should pursue them both.

In a perfect world, you'll be able to have your way with both of them.

[Aegis]

Okay, nevermind; he saw it.

[celine]

starbuck...i know what you mean...i certainly would rather deal with available guys...but most good guys here are taken..so i am thinking if it is a good idea to be just friends with them...and they will figure out whether they seriously want to be with me or not.....at the same time, i will keep on looking for other available good guys... is this feasible??

[Cain]

starbuck...i know what you mean...i certainly would rather deal with available guys...but most good guys here are taken..so i am thinking if it is a good idea to be just friends with them...and they will figure out whether they seriously want to be with me or not.....at the same time, i will keep on looking for other available good guys... is this feasible??

The only guys you should be pursuing are the unavailable ones. The singles ones are single for a reason, right?

[celine]

well...it makes a bit sense honestly...

also I am not pursuing them!!! they are semi-pursuing me..

[Citycat]

ahahahhahahaha! Cain's cracking us up tonight!


Celine, DON'T, I repeat DON'T start anything, especially not sexual, under no circumstances, until one of them becomes single. You'll only end up used and hurt.

[Cain]

well...it makes a bit sense honestly...

also I am not pursuing them!!! they are semi-pursuing me..

Great!

Call them both up and schedule some dates! Separately, of course, unless you want a threesome!

Just make sure that each date ends in the bedroom! You've got to make sure that they are worth pursuing! If they suck in bed then they aren't worth anything!

[celine]

jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[starbuck]

Cain, slowly step away from the confused girl looking for advice. Before, god forbid, she takes it from you and sleeps with both of them.

OP, dealing with unavailable guys is a very slippery slope. How are most of the guys around you taken? Do you live on a remote desert island? There are guys everywhere!

[Cain]

Cain, slowly step away from the confused girl looking for advice. Before, god forbid, she takes it from you and sleeps with both of them.

That's how it was intended, baby!

Free love!

She's got two opportunities and she needs to act on them. Let them get a taste of that vagina and they won't be going anywhere!

[starbuck]

OP, "All the good guys are taken," just seems like a way to rationalize away the icky feelings associated with going after someone else's man.

Love is complicated enough when the guy is single. When you "date" unavailable guys there are repercussions that go beyond you and he, and someone is going to get heartbroken, either you or the unknowing girlfriend. Do you really want to ***k up someone else's relationship willingly?

[CAM]

The only guys you should be pursuing are the unavailable ones. The singles ones are single for a reason, right?

I squirm when I read this, but in a very basic way...not being out there ****ing as many women as you can is a sign of not being a dominant male--that is true. In an earlier generation, things weren't quite as primitive as they are today, but reality is reality.

In the wild, dominant primate males will **** anything, which becomes the basis of a reputation. Non-dominant male primates are often shy or picky. So, pure animal nature

In human society, the less dominant male can compensate for this a bit if he's financially loaded...essentially, he "buys" her attention. But, it is never really quite as real as the bestial attraction. Who knows, maybe Peckinpah (director) was right in a way, despite his terribly disgusting portrayal.

But, it is totally the case that women are much more attracted to men that other women either already have or who are the object of other women's interest. It becomes a competition...its more than just attraction to the man, it is also part of the female "pecking order"--a competition.

Of course, all of this is a generalization, but generally it is true