My girlfriend and getting her back

[Zehx]

This summer has been very interesting. My girlfriend of 2.5 years and I started it great. I am 20 and she is 18. At the start of the summer she would ask me things like "Do you promise that nothing will happen to us when we go to college, that you'll be mine" and "I wish sometimes that I could just hide you somewhere because I am afraid of loosing you at college". We are headed to the same college. I replied to these by saying things like "I dont know, im just taking things one step at a time"

We also had a special spot where we live that we loved to go to each summer, this summer I was to busy she kept asking to plant flowers there and stuff like that and I brushed it off and said no I dont feel like it.

After a month of things just like this she talked to me one night saying she thinks we should take a break. At first I was more than okay with this because I had been doubting are relationship, I was not showing the same love I used to towards her and I wasnt sure that I did want a relationship.

Low and behold a month later she has a new boyfriend, he is temporary because she is going to the same college as me and he is staying where we grew up 1800 miles away from the college were attending. She calls me every day and says she still loves me and I ask for her to come back and she seems indifferent about it, not sure that it will be the same and stuff like that. I have tried to convince her things will be okay, because I have truly found that I love her, more than anything just a day after we started taking a break I realized I missed and wanted her back. It really took loosing her to show her how much she mattered.

Now I am not sure what to do, she seems to have given up hope of all the dreams and things we discussed and it is partially my fault. I am thinking about completely relandscaping are special spot, laying grass, fencing it off, planting flowers and just cleaning it up, then I will ask her to come with me, blindfold her and have a blanket laid out with her favorite food, then at the end attempt to show her the promise ring she once wore that she handed back when we started to take a break. Do you think this might work or is it a lost cause?

She says she still loves me, we flirt, we've kissed since we have been broken up, but she seems so lost and confused now

[Zehx]

Update: She called tonight and said thank you for something I had done for her a couple days ago. I went quiet on the phone and she asked me "what it was" I told her everything, I told her that she was right to move on, that I had been falling out of love for her and that I wasnt sure what I had wanted, that I was not sure I wanted the type of the relationship that we had, I told her that by the time I realized that I loved her more than anything it was too late, and that I was sorry for making everything about are failing relationship seem like it was her fault because it wasnt, I had not treated her like someone I loved for the last month and I was ready to accept that I had messed up and that this is what I deserved for being careless.

She started crying and told me shes glad i told her that and it made her want me back.... then she said she needs to go and was overwhelmed right now and finished by telling me she loved me twice, and then a goodbye.

Do I give up, I mean she has acted like she has had feelings for me like this for the past month but nothing has actually came from it, is this the old "If i love her, I have to let her go?" Where do i go from here? Carry on with my plans in the above post, because that seems like the only way to show her that I regretting not planting flowers with her by doing it to show her I was sorry i hadnt

[Cain]

Update: She called tonight and said thank you for something I had done for her a couple days ago. I went quiet on the phone and she asked me "what it was" I told her everything, I told her that she was right to move on, that I had been falling out of love for her and that I wasnt sure what I had wanted, that I was not sure I wanted the type of the relationship that we had, I told her that by the time I realized that I loved her more than anything it was too late, and that I was sorry for making everything about are failing relationship seem like it was her fault because it wasnt, I had not treated her like someone I loved for the last month and I was ready to accept that I had messed up and that this is what I deserved for being careless.

She started crying and told me shes glad i told her that and it made her want me back.... then she said she needs to go and was overwhelmed right now and finished by telling me she loved me twice, and then a goodbye.

Do I give up, I mean she has acted like she has had feelings for me like this for the past month but nothing has actually came from it, is this the old "If i love her, I have to let her go?" Where do i go from here? Carry on with my plans in the above post, because that seems like the only way to show her that I regretting not planting flowers with her by doing it to show her I was sorry i hadnt

Dude, what are you waiting for? Head on over to her house, man.

But make sure you stop at the corner store first! Gotta pick up those condoms!

[Citycat]

Plant the flowers, blindfold her and take her to that place, and than ask her to get back with you. If she does, treat her right. "Hey, I dunno whether I still have feelings for you" is definitely not a turn on!

[Zehx]

Is this strange ? I took her to the spot, blindfolded her and she loved it she said it was exactly how she imagined it. I even left a few flowers for us to plant ourselves. She took the promise ring back and wanted to wear it but she told me that it was over, and if there was ever anything between us again then it would be forever, she says there might be something later but not now. At first I was down, and I told her I have a regret, the first regret in my life that I didnt treat our love like i was supposed too. She said that latley all sorts of guys have been falling in love with her, and she wasnt trying to brag but she has a curse every guy she meets falls in love with her. Well after she said that I thought to myself, god the last thing I want to do is be a sheep like the rest of those guys and follow the herd. Suddenly recognition swept over me, I have done everything I could do make up for the mistake, I spent over a 150$ on flowers for this spot, I told her I was sorry, admitted my faults, and it just didnt work out.

I feel relieved, free as if a burden has been lifted, as If I cleared my counciouss, is that normal? I feel like everything is better because I have done everything I could to reinstate the relationship, so if it does have a future its not up to me anymore, its her problem, is that the right way of thinking or am I confused?

[Citycat]

Well, I don't know whether that feeling is right, but it's common in those kind of situations. I'm sorry you didn't do this to save the relationship earlier.

[Zehx]

I did do it to save the relationship, I wanted more than anything for her to say lets work things out, but she didnt. Now I know after spening much time and money cleaning up that area that it was not enough and that it truly isnt of concern anymore because there is absolutley nothing more I can do, be like one of the many other guys shes talking about and chase her and beg her some more? No, I have tried and if she cannot tell the difference between the way I showed her I loved her and the way other guys just :tell her they love her then our future is her concern not mine

[Mish]

I feel relieved, free as if a burden has been lifted, as If I cleared my counciouss, is that normal? I feel like everything is better because I have done everything I could to reinstate the relationship, so if it does have a future its not up to me anymore, its her problem, is that the right way of thinking or am I confused?

You feel relieved because you've done all you could, it's not in your hands anymore, you are free. Leave her be to her own devices, if it's meant to be she'll be back.

A word of caution though, I think it's suspicious that she got a new bf so soon, almost as if she had an eye on him (ussually why breaks happen).

[Zehx]

I just think its crazy I went from miserable to the normal single guy I was trying to figure out how to be for a month now. It seems so strange can an event like this really make you just get over something?

[Mish]

I just think its crazy I went from miserable to the normal single guy I was trying to figure out how to be for a month now. It seems so strange can an event like this really make you just get over something?

At some point you just realize if it's not working then there's nothing you can do, something inside of you clicks and you just let go. For most people. There are of course few who can't let go, I feel sorry for them.