A question on love

[Kementari]

So I was reading through the threads and one was mentioning something about one of the younger members not knowing what love even is yet, and that set me to thinking. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 months now and I know I care about him a lot, and I know I love him, but I'm unclear on the difference between loving someone and being IN love with them... Is there one or is that just Disney bullcrap?

What do you guys define as love?

[Cain]

The problem with people that are young is that they don't have the experience that's needed in order to know that they are in love. They have these high school romances and they think they love each one of those people when it's not true. It takes experience to be able to recognize it.

Also, I've never been fond of telling someone you love them too soon. In my opinion, in order to be in love with someone, you have to go through a rough patch... you have to have something happen in the relationship that tests that bond. I had that in my current relationship nearly a year ago and it nearly broke us apart... instead, it made us stronger.

[starbuck]

When you guys have found the meaning of love, please clue me in!

[Aegis]

It's 42, ain't it?

[DoesntMatter]

I don't need to be older to know what love is, I love my family and always have

[Cain]

I don't need to be older to know what love is, I love my family and always have

The love of family is completely different than the love of a significant other.

[Kementari]

Thanks Cain, that's actually really helpful. I think the problem is that I was really expecting a thunderbolt, whereas instead it's been a gradual growing of warm fuzzy feeling towards him. I can also understand it taking time to recognise the feeling. It sucks having Disney and movies be the most prevalent source for feelings of love, it's really not a fair comparison!!

I also agree about the rough patch thing, I'll be interested to see when that happens and how it works out... Neither of us have "said the 'L' word", we know we both care about each other a lot, but are also cautious about labelling it with love so soon.

[Cain]

Thanks Cain, that's actually really helpful. I think the problem is that I was really expecting a thunderbolt, whereas instead it's been a gradual growing of warm fuzzy feeling towards him. I can also understand it taking time to recognise the feeling. It sucks having Disney and movies be the most prevalent source for feelings of love, it's really not a fair comparison!!

I also agree about the rough patch thing, I'll be interested to see when that happens and how it works out... Neither of us have "said the 'L' word", we know we both care about each other a lot, but are also cautious about labelling it with love so soon.

The rough patch is going to be one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to go through in your relationship, and it will definitely happen more than once. You'll be able to recognize it because it will be something that lasts for more than a week and the relationship will be on the brink of disaster.

[shh!]

I think that young people DO have love feelings. The problem is that they feel everything so much more passionately than people who are older because they don't yet understand the value of protecting their hearts. Their attention spans are short, so their love feelings come and go quickly - leading to heartbreak, which teaches them to be more selective about who they share themselves with.

[Cain]

I think that young people DO have love feelings. The problem is that they feel everything so much more passionately than people who are older because they don't yet understand the value of protecting their hearts. Their attention spans are short, so their love feelings come and go quickly - leading to heartbreak, which teaches them to be more selective about who they share themselves with.

When you're younger, it's more infatuation than love. Love to me is so much more than just a strong feeling for someone. By the way, when I'm talking about young, I'm referring to those that are 18 or younger. Those high school romances.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, from the hormonal perspective (there are scientists studying 'love') there seems to be two phases: the transient 'infatuation' love feelings and, later, more permanent feelings of attachment. This 'two phase' love thing is completely consistent with my experiences of Love, dunno about anybody else, tho.

[Mish]

What complicates this whole meaning of love thing is that there are many different types of love and everyone's take on what love is, is entirely different (not neccesarily wrong, everyone's right in their own special way), you just have to find someone who's take on love is the same or at least similar to yours.

My meaning on romantic love is a combination of the three recipricated by both people, intimacy, passion and commitment.


My friend's gf disagrees with the above and says love is when you fall for someone beyond control like she has for a guy who doesn't really care about her. Although she's right in her own way, she's also a dumbass who doesn't know anything.

That's my take on this.

[1averagejoe]

It's 42, ain't it?

You'll know when you're tits start sagging or when you start growing hair in your ears and nose.

When you're young, you're stupid. Especially in high school. But then again there's older people that act just as stupid as young people...but they tend to be a bit more rare.

You'll learn things through experience and time. Love is more than a feeling, it's more than just how they make you feel.

[Only-virgins]

You test the bond, and you will lose what love you may only have. A 15 year old knows more about love these days than an 30 year old, as the 15 year old becomes older he is thought how to not love but rather accept silly things like the word "relationship" and "responsibilities"...and worse of all "compromise" ...which none of these have ANYTHING to do with love. Love is not caring or wanting the best for someone, those are description and love can not be described. Love at the end of the day is simply a feeling, a feeling hard to describe...this feeling doesn't last some argue but no one said love has too last. Love is instant, it doesn't take time to grow, love hits like a bomb and is a short burst of what maybe the only point of living in ones life. Those who pass this live in agony and jump from one pathetic relationship to another...but with no satisfaction at the the end of any. Most of all love is like life...short but sweet so enjoy it while it lasts. Love is an experience and I only have to look at a girl to know if I love her.

What complicates this whole meaning of love thing is that there are many different types of love and everyone's take on what love is

Very well, so mine is right above this. It is not right nor it is wrong. If one wants to believe that taking a shit made of glass is love than more power to them. What aggravates me is those people who will come in and tell me I am wrong, how dare they, who the **** made them god and know it all of love? Experience maybe a teacher but to bad everyone has a different teacher than, experience is not a piece of evidence. By the way, Mish, Some times I think you are a dumbass who doesn't know anything...though thats my take on this fair enough?

[Tedel]

This is a good question, you know?

The priest of my parish used to say:
"Love is something God gives us to share with the rest of the world."

Mum used to say:
"To love is to do what is best for the other person, even if that bugs/annoys/fcuks you"

Personally, I like the second one most.