He's Depressed

[Noticed]

My guy and I have been dating for about 3 months now. We've been cool he's been spending a lot of time at my place, up until This past Monday, he just stopped. He didn't call me for two days and then when I called him he was very serious. I sent him a text saying that I hope he would tell me if there is a problem and I care about him if he needs me I'm here. He called me this morning apologizing and said he's depressed. He said it may be because he stopped drinking and smoking cold turkey and it could be making him feel a little down. BUt otherwise he has no idea. I am not in love with him but I care about him very much. HE said that he wanted to be alone when he's like that. But I know from experience that that's not the best way to deal with it. I want to be persistent and tell him to come chill with me but then I would hate for it to backfire and he become very annoyed. What should I do. I could see this breaking us apart if I'm trying and he's not.... I'm confusing and I don't want to lose him...Any advice is welcome...

[misombra]

leave him alone.

[Noticed]

How do you think leaving him alone will help?

[Aegis]

I know when I tell someone I want to be alone, I really mean it. The only thing the "persistent interferer" will do is witness me acting very antisocial and in ways that will just piss that person off. A week or so goes by, and I feel fine again; it passes. But if I tell someone to leave me alone, I'm serious and they should do just that unless they want me to become very annoyed with them. If it remains this way for long periods of time, intervention might be advisable, but in the short term, give him a chance to work it out of his system. You can play the annoying, buzzing fly that won't go away, or let him have some time to sort himself out.

If I were him, your leaving me alone wouldn't help a hell of a lot, but it would keep me from getting very pissed off at you.

[Gigabitch]

He's having chemical withdrawl and he doesn't want witnesses. Leave him some dignity, would you, and back off.

[Mish]

HE said that he wanted to be alone when he's like that. But I know from experience that that's not the best way to deal with it. I want to be persistent and tell him to come chill with me but then I would hate for it to backfire and he become very annoyed. What should I do. I could see this breaking us apart if I'm trying and he's not.... I'm confusing and I don't want to lose him...Any advice is welcome...

I think you are thinking about the break up too soon. I think you should do what he asked and leave him alone until he asks for you. You can't force yourself onto him.

[boobaa]

This is called Male Periods. Seriously, males too have their downtimes.
As from my experience, leave him alone for a bit, but don't forget him, just tell him you are there.

I think we males don't break up when we don't say it. 'I need a break' part is just girls bullshit, we don't bullshit, so no need to worry about that.

[Kiechi]

Plus, the less sex should do what they're told. Leave him alone.

[Noticed]

Thanks...I'll try being considerate and all that I got a prob with sensitive people - It's a little annoying like...."Yeah..I'm depressed, wo is me...." And how about we get over it - Like Today... No one holds my hand through life so I don't pacify adult - Keep it moving...

[anachronistic]

Who said he needs you to hold his hand? He wants you to stay the **** away (for a while). I think you're being over sensitive by not being able to handle that.

[Noticed]

Actually I wasn't - He wanted to break up like I thought. I haven't heard from him - I just would have thought he would have "used his words" - I thought you learn that in preschool...

[n2u4reelguy]

Noticed,
I agree with the other posters; 3 months is too soon to say u know someone; you said you piece which is "I'm here for u; check in periodically with him (can u discuss a time table with him?) and give the space needed; at that point it's outta your hands; when a man wants to be with a woman he'll figure out a way to make it happen; believe that!