My girlfriend has become increasingly distant within the past few months. She's begun to become more preoccupied with her artistic endeavors and friends and less focused on our relationship. I've come to terms with that. I realize she needs to pursue what she loves more but I do secretly harbor some resentment. I've unfairly fallen by the wayside. Even if she's busy, I don't think a phone call at least every other night is too much to ask. I've gotten tired of initiating these things.
When we hang out there's no potential for spontaneity anymore. She's begun to succumb to her regimented work schedule and doesn't like to do anything these days. She falls asleep between 8 and 10 pm every weeknight. I am getting older, was hoping this relationship was going to progress into a live-in arrangement, and so I've been ok with the lack of recreational activities and more conservative lifestyle. More recently, even going to an early movie or having dinner at a restaurant hasn't been an option because she's so tired all the time. This has been bothering me for some time now. I'm no social butterfly by any means, but this wasn't how the relationship started.
I've become hyper-aware of her demeanor lately too. She's not as friendly towards me. There's less playfulness. Even as recently as a couple months ago, she used to say, "I'm the luckiest girl" and smile profusely at me. That hasn't happened in a while. Last time we hung out she had a strange, all-too-familiar look of discontent in her eyes.
We've never had a fight. People have inferred that's a little weird. Be that as it may, I think that's the only reason she hasn't given me the boot. I guess it makes it more difficult when there's no opening provided. I also recently got laid off and she's definitely smart enough to know that this may not be the most appropriate time.
I feel like I'm already going through the motions of a break-up. I've begun the moping, the lack of sleep, and have become more needy amongst friends. I think about everything far more than I need to, and it's hard for me to focus on things that could potentially distract me.
Despite everyone's suggestions to sit her down and have a serious talk, I'm too emotionally volatile to do it at the moment. In my last serious relationship, I tried this approach and inadvertently pushed the person out of my life, when all she probably needed was a little space to deal with things she had going on.
I don't WANT to break up with her. It's a juvenile way of looking at it, but I don't her want her to feel like a martyr and yet I almost want to beat her to the punch. I don't think she suspects I've even noticed things are off lately.
I want to believe this foresight will be my saving grace in the face of what is showing signs of being one of the most heart-wrenching breakups I've experienced. I handle these things terribly. Am I bracing myself appropriately, or just ensuring a prolonged misery?
Any insight would be appreciated.