I am a very stressed person. Break up with my girl friend because i think i cant give her good future.. My salary is low compared with her twins and twin's boyfriend.. And a girl come to like me, so i break up with my girl friend and spread news that i am together with the another girl.. Actually i dont..
Her family use to love me compared with the twin's boyfriend.. Now her whole family hate me and all her friend hate me because i made such a issue..
Not long ago, 1 of her close friend come talk to me, as i was really feeling tortured and lost without my girlfriend, i decided to reveal the truth to her friend about my real motive of doing this, that is hoping my ex girlfriend to have a richer boyfriend and have a good life. because i feel a background challenge between my party with her twins party..
As her friend reallly awakens me. i decided to turn back, but eerything was too late.. i hurt her too deep.. but she still love me.. so i do everything i could to win her back. But all everybody beside her keep separating her from me.. Well, as in their eyes, i am a very lousy person, not worthy for her..
Now, to her, she cant feel secure and confident to me.. afraid of being hurt again.. So all i can do was to accompany her whenever i can. I went to have lunch with her although our company location is quite a distance.. but i will always go no matter what, just for lunch...
But her family keep calling her and tell her not to go out with me, not to contact me.. Actually she is really under pressure.. But she still love me..
1 day, we went to attend a fren's wedding party.. that was my first time drunk my whole life... cried on the scene... but she dont care me, dont even talk to me, maybe because of all her fren is keeping her away from me.. or maybe she just dont wanna come..
and... another day, i saw a guy come to pick her up somewhere.. i was so broken hearted and i suicide.. but fail.. just end up lying on hospital 1 day.. she didnt come to visit me.. that time, i was so sad and decided to let her go since she is so cold to me..
but the next day, my relative told me that, the day when i was in hospital, my cousin manage to call her, and she cried... she watned to come, but her relative keep blocking her way... and she told my cousin that i am so slefish, if i die, what will happen to her...
So, i decided not to let go again... but after this incident, she was forced to change her contact number, i lost contact with her at all.. and all i can do was email her... from email, i told her i am not giving up and i stil love her very much..
she replied that, she dont know whether she can accept me, or her family can accept me or not...
and she keep wanting me to be her friend while everybody forbid her to do so.. my friend told me, whenver a couple break up, there is no way to be friend anymore.. but she keep wanting me to be friend....
i can sense that she is not giving up too... or am i wrong??
SO PLEASE ADVICE ME?!!!!! i am so confuse!!!! everybody told me to let her go, if not she is suffering.. because she is being closely watched and very tightly...
But I LOVE HER!!! what must i do?!!!