Quick to Judge or...?

[CAM]

So, the last time I was here, I'd met someone on line. And, we met...she drove two hours and I drove two hours...halfway point. Anyway, it was a great lunch and discussion. Did not feel the jingle-bells around the heart or anything, but she was very nice and all.

We've spoken by phone for three or four months. She's revealed some things about herself...she partied, she has a tattoo on her lower back, she and her family aren't very close, etc. Okay, no judgment on my part since there are things in my life (I just don't reveal everything right off the bat). So, we get to talking about family one evening and she asks why my great aunt died so young...I said "crime of passion," my uncle did something."

Can you believe it, but within three seconds she had come to erroneous conclusion that I would also be predisposed to do the same thing...simply based on the fact that someone in my family (nearly 100 years ago) had a bad marriage.

So, apparently I must quietly listen to her issues and not judge but she's free to spout off?

Am I wrong in not calling her again? Is there an outside chance that she's under stress (I think work is pretty busy) or that perhaps she's having something else going on, etc.?

Or, should I just not cut her any slack and move on?

If she's so busy, why does the dating site indicate that she's visited within the last 20 hours...which indicates that she's looking. Of course, I was on the site too, which means I'm looking....

I don't know protocol on these dating sites....its all rather odd to me. Also, I haven't called in a week, so in dating site "time" is that pretty much the equivalent of not calling in realtime years?

Not upset; just confused.

[Cain]

She was judging you based on something your great uncle did to your great aunt 100 years ago? That's simply retarded. If she wants to judge you based on things you didn't even do, then I think it'd be right for you to judge her based on things she HAS done.

[misombra]

omg that is strange.

if i sat down and told both you people about my life you would be so hurt and offended.

she sounds like a cracker jack.

however! she might be able to get over it. you got over her tattoo after being hurt and offended by it for a while. right?

[Cain]

omg that is strange.

if i sat down and told both you people about my life you would be so hurt and offended.

she sounds like a cracker jack.

I think I can give you a run for your money in the "whatdafukhappenedtomylife" game.

[shh!]

Can you believe it, but within three seconds she had come to erroneous conclusion that I would also be predisposed to do the same thing...

What makes you say this? When you say she was "spouting off", what exactly was she saying?

[CAM]

What makes you say this? When you say she was "spouting off", what exactly was she saying?

Uh, let's see...

When I told her, her response: "Oh, wow, that's terrible!"

Conversation continues, but there's a distant tone in her voice.

Me: "Are you still upset about what I told you?"

Her: "Yes. I mean you told me that and that makes me look at you differently."

Me: "In what way?"

Her: "Well, you've got 'that' in your family line."

Me: "So, you're judging me based on something someone in my family did 100 years ago?"

Her: "I just don't know what to think now..."

Is that enough info?

[shh!]

If that is really the way the conversation went, she is crazy. Better to find this out now.

[CAM]

omg that is strange.

if i sat down and told both you people about my life you would be so hurt and offended.

she sounds like a cracker jack.

however! she might be able to get over it. you got over her tattoo after being hurt and offended by it for a while. right?

Yes, and perhaps she'll reassess herself.

A cracker jack...well, at least with cracker jacks, there's a surprise treat in the bottom of the package

But, let me say that you were right a long time ago...you said, given my track record, she's probably a loon. And, Mis was right again Love, Cameron

[CAM]

If that is really the way the conversation went, she is crazy. Better to find this out now.

Yes. I shit you not. This is practically verbatim.

[IndiReloaded]

Can you believe it, but within three seconds she had come to erroneous conclusion that I would also be predisposed to do the same thing...simply based on the fact that someone in my family (nearly 100 years ago) had a bad marriage.

So, apparently I must quietly listen to her issues and not judge but she's free to spout off?

Actually, CAM, no I don't . Believe it. All other indications were that she seemed quite reasonable. Isn't this the PhD gal?

She was either joking or you chose to take it the wrong way. Or mbe she just wanted to see how you respond to an oblique slight on your family. Not very mature on her part, but hey, all those NOT human please raise your third & fourth eyebrows.

I'd suggest you might be in panic mode again. Cut it out, Cammie darling.

[miSSleepy]

Well which one was your blood relative, the uncle or the aunt?

Guess it doesn't matter. She sounds like a dumb prude. You didn't feel the butterflies either, so why so hung up?

[CAM]

Actually, CAM, no I don't . Believe it. All other indications were that she seemed quite reasonable. Isn't this the PhD gal?

She was either joking or you chose to take it the wrong way. Or mbe she just wanted to see how you respond to an oblique slight on your family. Not very mature on her part, but hey, all those NOT human please raise your third & fourth eyebrows.

I'd suggest you might be in panic mode again. Cut it out, Cammie darling.

Well, it really happened. I was sort of shocked. Anyway, like I said to begin with, maybe she was stressed out and subsequently lashed out at me. Who knows for certain.

I'm really not all panicky. Whether I've changed over the years or the world has changed and I just didn't keep up...whichever it is, I stopped understanding life a long time ago. And, that's just the simple truth of it.

[1averagejoe]

Lol!!!


She sounds cuckoo.

[CAM]

You may also be right about the "oblique slight"...she did seem to be a bit bent out of shape that "I wouldn't understand" the fact that she'd come from a broken family...because "I never saw a divorce." Well, she seems to have convinced herself of that fact, but she's never asked and I have never said. I don't believe in revealing everything just because the other person feels the need to. At least, not right off the bat.

[CAM]

Well which one was your blood relative, the uncle or the aunt?

Guess it doesn't matter. She sounds like a dumb prude. You didn't feel the butterflies either, so why so hung up?

Mystified more than anything. And, it did provide fodder for LF discussion, right?