I'm in a tough spot...

[Silent Knife]

I'm a musician, and i'm living with my girlfriend in new york right now until october.

I just worked on a cruise ship for 6 months, which was the coolest job i've ever had. Right now, it's exactly what I want to be doing. But my girlfriend hates it, she can't stand for me to be there. But the only reason i'm NOT doing it is because we're together.

The other day I was surfing the net and found this company that does pretty much the same thing but they contract musicians into 4 and 5 star hotels all across asia, playing 4 to 5 sets a day, and the rest of the time is free. All expenses paid. These are awesome opportunities but I can't do them because of my relationship.

I love my girlfriend, we've been together 2 years and been living together for 1 year now, and it just keeps getting stronger, but I'm waiting tables instead of doing what I really want to do. I have tried to talk with her about it and work out a compromise but she won't budge.

I even offered her a job on the cruise ship as well, and she has a legitimate answer, "as long as there's something that requires a master's of business degree" because she just graduated and her parents paid for her school, so she can't exactly just say "Hey Mom and Dad, thanks for the education, i'm going to go work on a cruise ship now, peace out!" Know what I mean?

Sometimes I feel like she's slowing me down as far as my career goes, and I don't have that much time here, life is short, I'm 24 it's time to get the ball rolling. I love traveling the world and playing music, and these jobs sound awesome.

[shh!]

Perhaps you shoud admit to yourself that your lifestyles are incompatible right now, and accept that you need to make a hard choice. It's not wrong that you want to travel and build up your career. In fact, it is age-appropriate. It also isn't bad that she wants to remain where she is. You guys just don't sound like a match right now.

[Silent Knife]

It's tough because we're locked into a contract with our apartment, and she's a foreigner so she's only making $600/mo. from her company overseas, I can't just leave her here on that salary, New York is way too expensive, but I feel like a 15 year old planning a break up. It's stupid.

[IndiReloaded]

She can get a roommate to help, can't she?

Its normal for ppl to focus on career at your age. I was separated from my husband for almost a year when we were in our 20s. He had an opportunity that there was no way I would have let him miss. In fact, he wasn't sure & I actually encouraged him to go. Eventually, I joined him.

Do what you gotta do. Never sacrifice short term pleasure for long term gain. Anyone who would ask you to do that isn't thinking straight.

[Cain]

Honestly, I think that if she was really in love with you, she'd encourage you to do this since it's where your heart is. I know that if I had an opportunity to do something like that and it's what I really wanted to do, my gf would encourage me to take it.

[Gigabitch]

I'm bumping this one to contrast with the new thread you just put up.

At $600 a month, I think even her parents could understand her taking off to make some real money. I don't know what cruise line you worked for- some of them are total slave ships, but there are decent jobs available on some of the better lines. Certainly better than $600 a month. That's freaking ridiculous.

I would like to get your story straight. Can you clearly explain your relationship? Wife or girlfriend?

[Silent Knife]

Ok Gigabitch. My "girlfriend" is now my wife. I was working on a ship, my contract ended. Her school year ended. She got an internship in new york, I moved there with her. I didn't like it because I was waiting tables (hard to get into the music scene in New York). I couldn't leave her because she was making $600/month.

This was a year ago though, I have since done another ship contract, and she has moved back to her country. We are separated again (meaning I am in my country and she is in hers).

I can either go there and go to a school I want to go to ($300/year) but live a fake love life, or stay here and pay upwards of $30,000 for education and be where I want to be. That's the situation i'm in right now. Does that clear things up?

[Gigabitch]

Yup. I also read the part in the other thread that said things were okay when you were together, you just lose interest when you're apart. So there it is: go back to where she is and your "fake" love life will again be real.

[IndiReloaded]

Where can you go to school for $300/year. Is that a typo? Must be $3000?

I can't see to follow the rest of the story, sorry. But something seems weird that such a young couple would already 'lose interest', long distance or not.

[Silent Knife]

No typo. $300/year, actually €250, which is around $300.