Quantity or Quality...?

[RSK]

And to all those players out there.... (BOTH doesn't count - pick one or the other)

I'd say quality. But I'm beginning to like the idea of quantity.

[Mish]

Definetly quality. Quantity is boring.

Good idea for a thread RK. Make it into a poll

[Cain]

Quality... no question.

[Ratfish256]

Quality 100%

[shh!]

I'm not sure if you are referring to the quanitity and quality of sex with a single partner, or quantity vs. quality with regards to the number of lovers.

If you are referring to sex with a single partner, then quality.

If number of lovers, I'm going with quantity because I am feeling bratty today.

[Gribble]

Variety...

[GrkScorp]

Definetly quality. Quantity is boring.

As a guy.., when you're young.., and you don't know any better.., then.. "the more.., the merrier"

It almost becomes a sport.., "how many this week.., how many this month?".. The tragedy is.., that you quickly start to view women as markers of your own value and self-worth.., closely tied to the respect you get from your peer group (usually composed of other equally immature guys).., they are like inches on a ruler.., like points on a score board.., they're all the same.., all you're interested in is setting a new personal high score..

That all changes when you have a bowling ball thrown through the windshield of your parent's car.., or have her brag to her friends about what you did over her place on the weekend.. (and it's not long until the rest of the girls start talking.., and all of a sudden.., the small group of 30 girls in your private high school is off limits)..

It's a rough lesson.. but eventually it dawns on you.., "what are feelings? not the evolutionary theory behind it.., not the biopsychology behind it.., but what are they? how do they feel like? what would it feel like for that girl to find out something like that? what would it feel like to be degraded to nothing but an other notch under your belt of immature high school boy validation? what would it feel like to be hurt?"

This amazing revelation occurs.., when all of a sudden.., you start to develop a clue about "ethics.., morals.., and values".. As a result.., you're no longer occupied with girls as a means of self-validation.., you have your work.., your friends.., your school.., your own personal growth and success for that.. And you're lost.., trying to find an answer to.., "wait.., if women are not just there for self-validation.., then of what use are they?"

You make jokes about it.., until it gets old.., and then it hits you.., "woah.., the ultimate purpose in life.., survival.., you are a product of genetic code.., and programmed to pass it on.., an other form of survival.., procreation.., replication".. All of a sudden.., women matter as people.., you are introduced to this strange new concept.., "relationship"..

Under this new concept.., you actually have to live with the person.., possibly start a family together one day.., and possibly "keep having sex with the same person for the rest of your life".. Even if you're still 17 at the time.., that's what a relationship is..

Holy crap.. you transform from "primitive fcuk anything that moves" into "do I really want this person to be my partner?".. The mating strategy changes significantly.., and an actual selection process takes place beyond sexual lust..

Under the old model (quantity).., the only pre-requisite to seduction taking place was "attraction".., so it was the only consideration.., under the new model (quality).., "attraction" AND "connection" are both pre-requisites for seduction to take place.., the objective is long-term.., and you can't satisfy the long-term objective if that "connection" isn't there..

The male gets introduced to his own personal and unique selection process.., a system based on his own personal matrix of preferences.., to complement and satisfy his own unique set of (ego, self-image, needs, wants, insecurities).. the short name? "standards"

It starts blowing some women away.., many women see you reject a perfect 10 gorgeous knockout.., and start to wonder.., "does he have a girlfriend? is he gay? what's the deal?".. many of them can't seem to figure it out.., and what's worse is when your own guy friends can't seem to figure it out.. (usually an indication that you need new friends)..

The introduction of "connection" as a pre-requisite to you allowing a woman to seduce you (seduction: a form of emotional-state manipulation in which a person persuades an other to; 1. engage in sex.., 2. feel sexual arousal.., 3. enhance sexual pleasure from sexual climax).. Serves as perhaps the biggest barrier in you finding the woman you're looking for.., you can't even allow yourself to have sex or flirt with women you don't feel any sort of connection for.., regardless of how they look.., it's horrible..

Not because you have any trouble finding women who qualify.., but women are just so used to running across "attraction only" men.., and focus so much time and energy into how they're going to look.., how they're going to look and sound sexy.., sexual flirting.., physical touching.., sexual innuendo.., implication of sexual interest.., because other men have responded to this in the past.., you of course understand that it's not their fault.., you don't get insulted (unless they're trying to manipulate you.., and think that you both don't have a clue behind what she's really trying to do & that she thinks she'll get anywhere with her act).., but because they devote so much time to this.., they almost always ignore advertising their "actual" qualities.., because they've been made to believe that nobody cares.., that they don't even really matter.., and so.., it's frustrating when you meet someone who really is a great person.., but she's selling herself the wrong way to you..

"Your penis & your signature.., be careful where you put them!" - Greek proverb

Eventually you meet someone who satisfies "attraction" AND "connection".., and with both conditions satisfied.., you feel comfortable enough to allow for them to seduce you.., and move on to sex.., and sex is great.., and the relationship is great.. (and depending how far the relationship goes.., family & marriage could be great too)..

"Player" is a negative term.., it denotes that "quantity" is the goal.., not "quality".., but when the person understands that having sex with the wrong person has consequences.., and that he's not willing to deal with all the costs that follow.., that any benefit simply doesn't justify all the related costs.., then it becomes a question of which woman he'll find to feel comfortable enough to.., well.., you know.., without regretting it..

He has no real issue with being "married" or "committed".., because the "single life" is useless to him.., he's not looking for "quantity".., so of what value is his sexual freedom? Especially when he already has "quality" right in front of him..

Maybe it's a journey that everyone needs to make for themselves.., but without a doubt.., "quality" is by far more satisfying..

"If you want variety.., why not just try the missionary position.., with a bunch of different hats?" - Steven Colbert

[Illusional]

i'd have make love to one beautiful woman, as opposed to having fuct 100 ugly women.

raverboy

[Only-virgins]

Quality. In every form of life. Humanity breeds under the assumption of quality, less children but better life per/child. Ants and bugs breed under quantity. Which one would you rather be? I will take a single moment with the most beautiful and wonderful girl over a thousand nights with great looking bimbos. Problem is that all we have left, at least here in IL, is bimbos. It is extremely hard to define even for myself what quality would be considering so many of these girls who ARE the quantity can fake eventually quality.

[lesa]

That's easy - quality

[misombra]

i think the more quality you have, the more quantity comes.

like flowers. they die and give off seeds and if the soil is good it'll make more flowers.

[Mish]

i think the more quality you have, the more quantity comes.

Which in itself becomes a problem

Half of the battle is finding the right person, the other half is staying focused on that right person without being "distracted" by other matches

[Only-virgins]

Which in itself becomes a problem

Half of the battle is finding the right person, the other half is staying focused on that right person without being "distracted" by other matches

Not to mention most of us spend nearly a life time trying to define what quality is.

[Charlie Boy II]

Quality without a doubt. F*cking fat and/or ugly chicks is just no fun. I'd rather watch a DVD.

[bluesummer]

I love how CB just lays out the truth like that.

Sometimes you have to go through a quantity phase to find the quality. The quantity phase makes you realize how many stupid, jerky people are out there in the world, and it makes you more committed to trying to find someone that's worth your time, for once.