now what!?!?!

[zerokool189]

ok well i just recently went through a little episode with my g/f.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/22728-uh-oh.html[/url]

she was pissed about the whole thing, but it turns out she was on her period and realized how much of a bitch she was to me and felt so bad and really apologized. things were great for about a week, but now theres something new.

yesterday she had a test in the morning and called me after. she didnt feel that she did very well and was a little bummed about it. she had another test in the afternoon and was a little worried about that one. i told her to call me after. well i got out of a group workout at about 7:20 and decided to give her a call. she sounded really down, she said her second test was harder than her first. she canceled the plans we had for that night(go see kung fu panda). she said she wanted to see me. i assume she meant she wanted me to come to her house, i told her that i had my roommate with me and she said that she would call me later.
i told my roommate that i need to get her something that would cheer her up. well she says this thing in spanish, elefante, and i thought it would be cute if i got her an elephant. so i drive around town to all the toy stores with no luck of finding this elephant. i go to the mall and end up going to build a bear and making a damn elephant and recording something nice in it. i was going to call her and let her know that i was coming, but my roommate stopped me and said i should just go surprise her. so thats what i did. i ran home dropped him off and headed to her place. i pull in and i could she her in the kitchen through the window. she sees me pull in and runs up stairs... i knock, i assume she went to either change or maybe take some cream off her face... i dont know. well i ran the door bell and knocked for about 30 min, no answer. i called but her phone was on the kitchen table. somewhere in those 30 min she found time to run down and snatch her phone from the table. she has a big window in front of her house that you can see in. i decide to leave the bear at her door and leave. i send her a text message that says i left something at your door, i hope you like it. she immediately sends a text message. "dont feel like talking, you weirded me out".

then she sent another message "what the hell is going on, ive been soaking in the tub. i just got bad news."
i dont reply. she sends another text saying that a close friend of hers died and she i scared her and she didnt appreciate that.

i sent no reply, i was going to wait till today to try and talk to her. at about midnight she sends me a message saying she doesnt understand why i would try to scare her like that.

it is about 2am and i have just been rolling in bed, trying to go to sleep. i decide to send her a message. i say the only thing you can accuse me of is caring too much about your feelings. i go out of my way and do something to cheer you up and this is what i get. i sent another one saying i dont think you realize how much you hurt me tonight.

she sent one this morning: me hurt you? my friend dies and your the insensitive one. then i sent one that said you know why i went there? and i asked if i could call. she said didnt f'ing expect you to beat down my door while i was soaking in my bath tub. i didnt even know it was you and i was really scared.

after that i sent one that said: i saw you in the kitchen when i pulled in, i saw you run up the stairs when you saw me...

i know shes making this up now, i dont even know if shes being honest about her friend.

i sent a final message: i know you had a bad day, im sorry. after the track i drove around to find a stuffed animal for you to cheer you up. i ended up making one for you at build a bear. i just wanted to give it to you thats all. its still at your door i hope you brought it in. i would never want to scare you or make you feel weird. i just didnt know what to make of the situation when you ran from me. ill leave you alone.

at this point i am like wtf? i dont care about fixing it, she obviously lied to me. i dont know if she is being honest about her friend. thats a horrible thing to use to try and get out of something, if shes lying about it... im not going to ask what to do, because im just not going to contact her. i just have no idea why she would say she wanted to see me, then when i surprise her she hides... shit, if i wouldve just called i couldve avoided all of this bullcrap. now im frustrated because i didnt sleep and now i have to go to work.

[Cain]

This girl is mental. She's lying to you and you're not doing anything about it? If I was you and I knew she was lying after SEEING her avoid answering the door or my calls... and then lying that she was in the tub the whole time, I'd be pissed. If I were you, I might be wondering if there was another guy at the house or not.

[zerokool189]

well i know she wouldnt do that, besides there were no cars there... that thought did cross my mind. she just gets psycho when she is depressed...

i didnt update the thread but she sent me some texts saying she thought someone was going to break in. then she sent me one saying "i almost called the f'ing police!" then another i had my friends call me to see if i was ok because they saw you driving around my house non stop...

i havent replied to any of those texts...

this girl really hurt me tonight and i think im going to end it with her.

[shh!]

Get rid of that crazy, lying bitch, and then spend some time trying to figure out how you are going to avoid crazy, lying bitches in the future.

[misombra]

psycho alert!!!

[zoso]

If she gets paranoid when she's depressed, maybe she's ashamed of the way she acted and is getting overly defensive about it? I had a friend like that. It gets annoying, but I have started to understand. Some people just don't deal well with embarrassment. *shrugs*
Stop bringing it up. Just say you're sorry for surprising her like that (I know you already did, but another one wouldn't hurt) and that you'd like to see her soon to talk... or something like that.
Just try and get her to talk to you about what's going on, how you can make her feel better, etc.

I hope she's not lying about a friend dying... That's just really odd.. I would start to consider calling it quits if I were you, and she did lie about something like that.

Good luck.

[zerokool189]

my sister just called me and asked if i was ok. i asked her why she would call to ask that. she told me last night she fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked her car. she got pretty banged up and messed up her car and two others. im going to tell my g/f that, i think she made up the friend story so she may feel really bad about that.

she also sent an email to a good friend of mine saying that she feels something is up, that i didnt do anything wrong. she was just wondering if i told him that i felt something was out of place as well. she didnt mention anything to my friend about her friend dying. she has been talking to some friends on facebook comments and she seems pretty happy and lively like usual. she also commented on this one guys wall that really likes her. she knows i can see that she posted that and i think she did that on purpose... she never talks to that kid and she always ignores him, but today she decided to ask him how he has been.

[Cain]

We've told you.. she's psycho.

She's also a liar. Who assumes someone is breaking in just because they are at the front door? Unless you were doing something stupid like banging on the glass? And a car didn't have to be there for someone else to be there... within walking distance? Someone dropped them off? Something HAD to have been up or she wouldn't have been so damn crazy.

[Smith]

zerokool189 I understand how it feels to be depressed after you had a hard exam. I went to a world class institution and believe me the assessment task's are not easy. It feels like being hit in the head with a baseball bat then being kicked constantly while you are down. There was this one subject that had a 94% failure rate and a friend of mine was so depressed after failing it twice he tried to kill himself but luckily we found him and called 911 to get him to a hospital.

zerokool189 you seem like you naturally care for her because you went out of your way and bought her a gift when you had no reason to. The only time I ever spent money buying lavish gifts for a gf is when I wanted to try something in bed that I knew she would not like even then I didn’t really care about her I just only cared about what I wanted.

Just wait for her to return to normal then see what she says be patient with her.

[Cain]

The only time I ever spent money buying lavish gifts for a gf is when I wanted to try something in bed that I knew she would not like even then I didn’t really care about her I just only cared about what I wanted.

No way! Men actually do that?!

Hey, lookie here lesa... a man that manipulated his girl to get in her pants.

[lesa]

I did not say that men or women can not manipulate each other. I said that it is not common to find someone to be completely clueless about being taken advantage. The woman Smith speaks of seriously wasn’t completely foolish to believe that he was her knight in shining armour and she lived a wonderful and happy life with him completely oblivious to any possible motives he may have had.

EDIT: Plus we know what Smith did!

[Cain]

I did not say that men or women can not manipulate each other. I said that it is not common to find someone to be completely clueless about being taken advantage. The woman Smith speaks of seriously wasn’t completely foolish to believe that he was her knight in shining armour and she lived a wonderful and happy life with him completely oblivious to any possible motives he may have had.

EDIT: Plus we know what Smith did!

Just wait until the first time you're manipulated. You won't see it coming, and then you'll even consider yourself an idiot or admit that manipulation isn't always easy to spot.

[lesa]

Just wait until the first time you're manipulated. You won't see it coming, and then you'll even consider yourself an idiot or admit that manipulation isn't always easy to spot.

Whoa thanks for the negative outlook for my life.
I did not say it was easy to spot but it would not be too difficult either. I am just not going to be all happy-go-lucky in my relationship when I sense something may not be quite right. I would proceed with caution but enjoy myself at the same time until given more concrete signs of manipulation (which may catch me off guard but I had already sensed). I would probably say that I was an idiot for staying in the relationship for that time but I would not be completely surprise at what was happening.


I have dated men who had many girlfriends at one time....but I was not completely clueless or treated as if I was a girlfriend or his only date. I am going to ask questions and ask him directly what does he want/expect of me? I am not going to assume after many dates that he is my boyfriend, and we live the girlfriend/boyfriend lifestyle. It is communication...the more the merrier. “Are we girlfriends/boyfriends and in an exclusive relationship?” It is when there is little to no communication that these so-called manipulations come about. Real manipulation to the average person is not to too difficult to spot because you would feel negative and controlled. You probably heard of friends commenting about their observations in the boyfriend or girlfriend. They can see it easier because they are not foolishly in lust with the manipulator.

If a man was manipulating me, he would not want to keep it up for a long time. He would be very impatient with me.

[GrkScorp]

If a man was manipulating me, he would not want to keep it up for a long time.

Wait what? crap..

oh well.. back to the basics then..

[1averagejoe]

Is that my ex you're dating? She would pull shit like that on me all the time. I was way too laid back and let too much shit slide back then. I don't doubt there was someone else in that house that she didn't want you to know about.

Dump that bitch now, and be happy. Hell, I wouldn't even give her a call, I'd text her and never speak to her again. Because that would probably drive her even more crazy...lol.