A changing life...?

[lesa]

Boobaa, you have to change your perspective of all (or most) aspects of life from within. Once you have that kind of attitude mentally and emotionally, you will somehow project it for others to see. They will feel more comfortable approaching you and you will feel more comfortable approaching them….taking minor risks like asking a girl you find attractive on a semi-date. Don’t ever go to clubs or other similar social gatherings unless you want a girl that fits mostly into those kinds of scenes and stereotypes. Don’t complain about the opposite gender to yourself or you will believe it to be true for everyone and it will show without you knowing it. It is very easy to pick up on attitudes because it can show in body language. Enjoy life safely and someone will come along…but as a male most likely you will need to show confidence, assertiveness, and a little bit of charisma especially when you find out that the girl has a boyfriend.

[shh!]

The part you described, is criticism towards those who get carried out via emotions too much.

I really don't have any idea what you are talking about. And for the record, there was no hostility in my post.

[boobaa]

I really don't have any idea what you are talking about. And for the record, there was no hostility in my post.

I never said your post was hostile. We all project what we are hoping to see, or are used to see...

By emotions, I mean that some people make assumptions too fast.

Enjoy life safely and someone will come along…but as a male most likely you will need to show confidence, assertiveness, and a little bit of charisma especially when you find out that the girl has a boyfriend.

Charisma... So you are basically saying that I need to steal a girl from someone another? You see, thats the part where my insecurities come, I am sick of girls who get influenced so easily and therefore hurt a lot of people. Plus that means that I can be a temporal optiion for that girl also. Is it really right to just find someone and keep that person until someone better comes around? Wtf?

[lesa]

Charisma... So you are basically saying that I need to steal a girl from someone another?

Uhh, No. I mean having the ability to smoothly leave that situation without letting it upset you. If she tells you no..that she has a boyfriend or no, she is not interested...then you need the ability to not let that offend you. Just say something appealing or funny and move on...it's nothing to get upset about. I had several men ask me whether I had a boyfriend or to go out on a date and I tell them sorry I am taken...but they have the charm to say something nice to me like, "too bad..you seem like a nice person and [boyfriend] is a lucky fellow" or something funny like "oh well...but you are cute anyways”..etc....keep your cool/charm like that to show that she did not destroyed your world. After all, she may have girl friends that she can introduce you to but if you took her 'rejection' as something negative then you will never know. I look highly on men who are charming and can take a 'rejection'....you can tell they are a really happy person inside.

Take your time and work on making yourself happy without a partner in your life first…there is no need to rush for any kind of girlfriend.

I am sick of girls who get influenced so easily and therefore hurt a lot of people. Plus that means that I can be a temporal optiion for that girl also. Is it really right to just find someone and keep that person until someone better comes around? Wtf?

P.S. You have to get all this negativity about women out of your mind before seeking a healthy relationship. Don’t assume all women are whores or easy….assess your attitudes of the conscious and possibly unconscious level before seeking a relationship.

So far in my life (and hopefully forever) I have never lumped a negative behavior that I may have seen in one man to other men. I haven’t done that (yet, lol). Open your soul and allow happiness over sadness; positive thoughts over negative thoughts. What makes you happy? Enjoy yourself first!

[boobaa]

The whole point is that they don't tell they have boyfriends until its too late. I know this probably isn't ture, but somehow i have captured that mentality...

[lesa]

The whole point is that they don't tell they have boyfriends until its too late. I know this probably isn't ture, but somehow i have captured that mentality...

What do you mean by 'too late'? Should women immediately end conversations with men and tell them that she cannot talk to them because she has a boyfriend? Should she assume that immediately at the start of a conversation? I have had men ask me questions about things and some people may think it is flirting. Example, one man asked me the name of the perfume I was wearing....a few minutes into the conversation I found out that he wanted to purchase that fragrant as a gift for his girlfriend. I've also had many conversations with men because I am surrounded by them. I would really embarrass myself if I assumed all of them wanted me as a girlfriend.

EDIT: And some women ARE just sluts. But the atmosphere you are in can reduce the number of those women sometimes. That is why I said don't look for potential girlfriends in clubs....maybe a one night stand, lol.

[Tone]

Uhh, No. I mean having the ability to smoothly leave that situation without letting it upset you. If she tells you no..that she has a boyfriend or no, she is not interested...then you need the ability to not let that offend you. Just say something appealing or funny and move on...it's nothing to get upset about. I had several men ask me whether I had a boyfriend or to go out on a date and I tell them sorry I am taken...but they have the charm to say something nice to me like, "too bad..you seem like a nice person and [boyfriend] is a lucky fellow" or something funny like "oh well...but you are cute anyways”..etc....keep your cool/charm like that to show that she did not destroyed your world. After all, she may have girl friends that she can introduce you to but if you took her 'rejection' as something negative then you will never know. I look highly on men who are charming and can take a 'rejection'....you can tell they are a really happy person inside.

Take your time and work on making yourself happy without a partner in your life first…there is no need to rush for any kind of girlfriend.



P.S. You have to get all this negativity about women out of your mind before seeking a healthy relationship. Don’t assume all women are whores or easy….assess your attitudes of the conscious and possibly unconscious level before seeking a relationship.

So far in my life (and hopefully forever) I have never lumped a negative behavior that I may have seen in one man to other men. I haven’t done that (yet, lol). Open your soul and allow happiness over sadness; positive thoughts over negative thoughts. What makes you happy? Enjoy yourself first!

This is really good advice.

You're still young, boobaa, you're going through the awkward phase - we've all been there!

Being 20 and not having a relationship is NOT that bad. Honestly, like lesa said, focus on yourself right now. Find out what you want out of life, find out what makes you happy, and where you want to be in life. Focus on school, join clubs related to your major or activies you like to do. You might find, that the girl thing will just fall into place.

Just remember man, that life shits on EVERYONE. Every single person can find reasons to be negative and complain about life. A special person is someone who can carry a positive, upbeat attitude and not let things like girls having boyfriends dictate how they are going to live their life. Those kinds of personalities are INFECTIOUS. While I don't expect to see your posts all smiles and full of positive messages - you CAN take a step in the right direction.

Anyone can complain about life.