Ms Jane's Class.. :Dating 101- What not to say to a woman your dating...

[Bonovox40]

With the flattery, even if it's about the body (or something that she may get complimented on alot), as long as it's within the moment of notice, it'll probably be good. (You arrive to pick up your date. You knock and she opens the door.) "Hi. Wow! You look beautiful tonight!" Simple, but effective and the timing was right on. Your first look at her and you comment on it. It wouldn't be the same effect as if you picked her up, said "hi" went out and 3 hours later said "You look beautiful." She'd be like "That was nice, but why did it take him all this time to notice me?" (not always the case but some women might think that way)

As far as the flattery, it doesn't have to be about the body. Most women want you to notice just who they are. Behaviors, attitude, personality. If you're having a fun time together, comment on her smile, her laughter, the sound of her voice. "I love how you have that sparkle in your eyes when you laugh."

Say something she doesn't hear often but have it be REAL. Don't think too much, it's better on the fly. She will see the confidence and know it's from the heart. It should be a natural response to how the date/time together is. Just remember to not comment on something that she has an obvious problem with. Like if she's overweight, try not to make a direct comment on her body. (even if she has big boobs and you like big boobs. Most likely, she won't agree with you anyway) It could be something as simple as "Hey, that's a really nice shirt you have on, you give it some style." Or "Those are great shoes, where did you find them?" (What woman DOESN'T like talking about shoes or clothes ESPECIALLY when a guy gives them props for it?)

Just be yourself and have fun. Flattery should not be a 24/7 thing. Remember that you're trying to express traits about you that are flattering, and so is she. You shouldn't have to be like "I have great eyes. You think so right?" These should be things that you each pick up on together. It's just up to you to let your partner know you enjoy those little things about them. :-)

[BBC1]

You could just say that everything about her is beautiful. It doesn't need to come out like that but if you can think of 10 things that you love about her just bunch them together into one.

Ratfish,

Think first, she probably hears that too generic compliment 100 times a day (I like you... You are cool.. Everythign is beautiful...), and I dont want to be 101st saying the same hackneyed stuff.
No one can bear that

[BBC1]

[QUOTE=Killerbabe]Dang you're hopeless. Sheesh. Of course we love compliments. Something original always works like "I've never seen such a beautiful hair color, it's a great hue it really goes well with your rosy cheeks".

Killerbabe,

Do you read me? I find her breasts 100 time better than her hair.
You think I still need to fake my interest to her hair color?
You are a babekiller than Just kidding.

".....Also, men do NOt under any circumstances round up a date just because it's only a date if you want to continue hanging out together. "

When Mike marry you we'll talk again.
For men it is better to end the date than wait until the girl says "I gotta go".
Why? Keep her interest level! ("Oh, he is leaving? Why? Maybe I am not god enough for him? I need to figure that out!")
Be a challenge!

[BBC1]

Killerbabe,

".....Well...to tell you the truth I don't see anything wrong or offensive about telling a woman that she's sexy"

I dont either. When you grow up to my age and became a man
you may be surprised how many women got defensive and run away after any "sexy" comments. Why is that?

".....- why can't you jst tell her that she's really hot and sexy and has great legs, lips, etc. Why not?

Really.. why not... why she is not here already? She's gone! Why is that?
Should I assume she does like her ownlegs, lips and breasts? Insecruities reach the limit?

Maybe it is a good test for a good woman - to say these things?

".....Actually, when I just met my boyfriend and my friends and I took him out to a bar he kept checking out my back when we were all sitting at a table. My friend pointed out that some guys were looking our way and Mike leaned over and gently pressed a spot on my back right above the butt and said "They're all looking right at this beautiful spot over here". That gave me the chills.

So what is it special about the spot? why is that tiny spot good?
I'll tell ya: you just like attention of those staring at you guys.
IMHO The spot has nothing to do with what we are talking about.

Why dont you stick to the topic and tell us about compliments to you more attractive body part?
Let me guess - there were none cuz he's got scared to complimnet you this way.

[BBC1]

Bonovox40,

.........(You arrive to pick up your date. You knock and she opens the door.) "Hi. Wow! You look beautiful tonight!"

"Beautiful" is more approproate to say about an asexual rose. She is sexy! (and not just an innocent smile, but a good grin
Let me remind you, that at night you may not want only to stare at her and say "beautiful.. beautufl..." you may definitely want somehting more


.......Your first look at her and you comment on it.

What if I do not want to comment this way? I find her sexy and voluptuous.
What should I say? Just... nothing?

As far as the flattery, it doesn't have to be about the body. Most women want you to notice just who they are. Behaviors, attitude, personality. If you're having a fun time together, comment on her smile, her laughter, the sound of her voice. "I love how you have that sparkle in your eyes when you laugh."

"...I love your teasing Especially when you stretch out like a cat, your ass is so hot then"
You think it'd be all right?

........Say something she doesn't hear often but have it be REAL.

It is toooo generic recommendation. Like "Be unique, Be good, Be nice, Be cool".
"God is in details" (c) Somebody I dont remeber who

.......It could be something as simple as "Hey, that's a really nice shirt you have on, you give it some style." Or "Those are great shoes, where did you find them?"

Ok, I give up. if I bored ...I'd say "wow you got a great taste" Why? "the bra you are wearing is awesome!"

.......Just be yourself and have fun.

Man, it is too generic. Like people used to add all the time "and stuff".
How to be yourself and have fun? We are talking about how to practise those "be and have".
...my every single word carries a meaning in it. I hope you can do better
than I

[Killerbabe]

Killerbabe,

Do you read me? I find her breasts 100 time better than her hair.
You think I still need to fake my interest to her hair color?
You are a babekiller than Just kidding.


When Mike marry you we'll talk again.
For men it is better to end the date than wait until the girl says "I gotta go".
Why? Keep her interest level! ("Oh, he is leaving? Why? Maybe I am not god enough for him? I need to figure that out!")
Be a challenge!

Yes, I do read you and that particular example wasn't meant for you. It was just an example.

As to our first date with Mike, I am confident enough to say that both of us had a great time in Moscow, dating for three months until he had to leave back to Denver. And if you had to bring up marriage, well, let's just say we almost did. But that's not exactly what both of us want right now. I came out to Denver just to be with my boyfriend and we moved in together.

Actually, Mike and I broke all of the "dating rules" you could think of - made out in a night club for the first time when we've only known each other for 3-4 days only. We called each other as often as we wanted and spent every single day for three months together. However, he DID call me the next morning after...well you know what.

As to that "Be a challenge!" notion - we weren't really a challenge for each other. But spending 7 months in long-distance trying to work out my visa to the states was quite a challenge for the both of us.

[Killerbabe]

Killerbabe,


So what is it special about the spot? why is that tiny spot good?
I'll tell ya: you just like attention of those staring at you guys.
IMHO The spot has nothing to do with what we are talking about.

Why dont you stick to the topic and tell us about compliments to you more attractive body part?
Let me guess - there were none cuz he's got scared to complimnet you this way.

Are you seriously asking me why that tiny spot is so attractive? Well, because you can see well-defined dimples and it's a very graceful curve that shapes into an attractively round and plump butt. Sound good enough?

No, actually I'm not that desperate for attention - if I were don't you think there'd be more pictures of me than KawaiiSkye's? You're being assumptive and rude, above all else. How dare you confront me with comments like these? Why are you throwing yourself and your petty comments in my path in hopes of getting my invaluable attention.

By the way, the topic has absolutely undeniable relation to the main theme - teaching men what women like to hear during dates. I brought that little incident to your attention because I thought it was a great way of complimenting a girl. And he did not get scared of complimenting me the rude way, I actually like horny ballsy guys. I don't like sappy poetry and flowers on dates. I like a guy that is sensitive but not in that way. He is sensitive in a way that he takes care of a girl and his actions speak for himself.

But then again, that's just me.

[BBC1]

Yes, I do read you and that particular example wasn't meant for you. It was just an example.

I'd appreciate the example right to the point.
If you were talking to me, (I find her breasts 100 time better than her hair)
this comment did not make much sense:
".....Something original always works like "I've never seen such a beautiful hair color, it's a great hue it really goes well with your rosy cheeks".

The bottom line anyway is: Why you prefer compliments about hair and eyes
to compliments about ass and breasts? But at the same time prefer guys "who know what they want" to guys who just nice and "go around"?

[BBC1]

.......Are you seriously asking me why that tiny spot is so attractive? Well, because you can see well-defined dimples and it's a very graceful curve that shapes into an attractively round and plump butt. Sound good enough?

Sounds good. Any pics?

.....No, actually I'm not that desperate for attention -

Never said "desperate" in the context and did not imply it.
You are the one who read me - you think I implied that. If there any
"desperate" thing, it is in your mind, and any word can trigger it.

.......You're being assumptive and rude

Of course I am assumptive. I did not see your dimples, what do you want?

Rude? according to the definition it is "Socially incorrect in behavior", .i.e.
"Not conforming with accepted standards". Oh yes, I do not conform to your standards. Sorry cant do anything with that: I am not a girl, got my own standards.

........How dare you confront me with comments like these?

How I dare? With ease

......By the way, the topic has absolutely undeniable relation to the main theme - teaching men what women like to hear during dates. I brought that little incident to your attention because I thought it was a great way of complimenting a girl.

It might be great, but it happen seldom: for guys legs are way more attractive than hair. Say something new, what we dont know, like - what to say in that case?

.......And he did not get scared of complimenting me the rude way, I actually like horny ballsy guys.

So whats the deal? Tell us why women do not like rude comments about sexy body parts?



The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw

[Killerbabe]

*groans*

Example right to the point? Honey, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth so that you could directly deliver them to your ahem, fair lady. I was just recalling a compliment I got from one guy. And no, I wasn't talking to you.

I do not prefer compliments about eyes and hair to those about ass and breasts. Actually, I get 'em all, but I like when people point out how nice my rear end is. I never really expect much about my breasts because I don't really have any so to speak, but this one guy told me they're very nice and that he "thinks they're cute". I didn't get mad, although I have a boyfriend and he knew that.

I did not say I only like guys who know what they want. I just like that character trait. It doesn't necessarily imply that I don't like all the other ones. But yes, I don't like corny poetry and flowers... it's conspicuous that those things don't really come straight from the heart. I find romanticism in surprising things - eating take-out Chinese food in the car (fancy restaurant dates just add too much tension), being sick together...

[BBC1]

.......Example right to the point? Honey, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth so that you could directly deliver them to your ahem, fair lady.

Here we talk about what to say to a woman and what not to say.
I asked you a question if you have none to say, "I do know" would be the best answer.

If you dont want me to say your words to a lady,
you dont want anyone to do so. Then why in the world
you are talking here with examples? What purpose do they serve?
The thread says " Dating Class", so some people ask what to say and some reply. May I ask you what kind are you? "Just talking"?


......I do not prefer compliments about eyes and hair to those about ass and breasts. Actually, I get 'em all, but I like when people point out how nice my rear end is. I never really expect much about my breasts because I don't really have any so to speak, but this one guy told me they're very nice and that he "thinks they're cute". I didn't get mad, although I have a boyfriend and he knew that.

Got you, you like them all, ok.

[Killerbabe]

BBC1, apparently you're trying to sound all smart and counteragrumentative but you're not doing very well so far. Poor sport.

I've been trying to explain... *sigh hope you get it THIS time* I wasn't replying to your post specifically. I just posted some compliments I liked in particular. Not for you in particular. Not for anyone. Just posting. Get it?

I don't care if you say those compliments to a girl you like, heck I couldn't care less. Sounds tenable, huh?

I know why so many women don't like to hear compliments like that. It all depends on who you're getting them from. If some skinny bald guy comes up to me and tells me that I have great legs I'll get the shrills. If a stud with green eyes and a tiny little belly (love those!) comes up to me and tells me that I've got a spanky ass I'll get the chills. See the difference?

[BBC1]

Killerbabe,

.......apparently you're trying to sound all smart and counteragrumentative

Just I want to say things to the point. Counteragrumentativeness - well it is natural part of a discussion.

........I wasn't replying to your post specifically. I just posted some compliments I liked in particular. Not for you in particular. Not for anyone. Just posting. Get it?

Then cool - my guess was correct, it was from department "Just talking".

....I know why so many women don't like to hear compliments like that. It all depends on who you're getting them from. If some skinny bald guy comes up to me and tells me that I have great legs I'll get the shrills.
If a stud with green eyes and a tiny little belly (love those!) comes up to me and tells me that I've got a spanky ass I'll get the chills. See the difference?

I got, thanks!
Very good point. I then assume it is a good indicator to say "spanky ass" things. The indicator of her attitude to me.

[Killerbabe]

No-o-ow we're getting somewhere.

[jslaughter]

I think that the point is no one, man or woman, wants to be treated like an object. If all you can find attractive about her is her breasts than perhaps for you she is merely an object - otherwise women want to be appreciated for many of their virtues.

When you pick her up and she looks good, she has put alot of effort into trying to look good FOR YOU. Of course Bono is right -tell her she looks good.

Killerbabe, pointed out that you don't have to be G-Rated in your comments - women want to be sexy and there's nothing wrong with telling her that.

If you are going out with someone that you can't find anything to flatter them about -why are you going out with them?