And Whose Feeling the Negative Vibe NOW?

[Bonovox40]

It sounds like you kinda.... want her to take the lead\responsibility for the relationship. Of course it is convenient but... dont!

I guess you should do it by yourself. I still did not get how often you date her - the camp thing and she's not supposed to leave it...Anyway, go ahead, try something, meet her as many times as possible, then do not wait until she forgets about you...man, invite her to states, help her with visa as soon as you can, as soon as she leaves US. At least you would do what you can do.
Do not passively wait while she drifts out of your range.

Besides, european girls IMHO are more marriage minded, and in general more
loyal. I guess it is not bad at all

I don't want her to be in control, I want it to be mutual. I didn't mean that I DON'T want a relationship and a career together, I just don't know with her, how I can juggle both with the school/career/distance that we're facing.
And I definatly am not/will not be passive about things. If I continue to feel the way I do, i'll will constantly make an effort that she doesn't forget about me. We talk each day at night when she is free from chores, and I should be able to see her this weekend, and the next weekend, and the next weekend. After that is unknown. But in the meantime, I send her letters (one today) and little care packages every now and then. (one last week) Just to tell her i'm thinking of her and remind her of the good feelings we share. I know that if we talk on the phone, letters are unnesesary technically, but you know what it's like to get mail from someone you love and can't wait to read what it says.

I believe you about the loyalty and marriage thing. She has mentioned her values and morals and even though she has wanted to leave her ex for more than a year, she was loyal to him and it was VERY hard for her to make that shift to me even though she loved how I made her feel and knew that he would never change and has abused her in the past.

Part of me with dating knows it is a game of give and take. But the way I am, I have annoyed my gf's in time by always being kind and compassionate. I've had gf's tell me how their ex's would never hold their hand, or snuggle or just say that they love them. When I started doing that to my ex's, they loved it. But then they got annoyed by it either because they were mental and felt that they had to be hurt somehow for things to be right, (I had this confirmed by one) or that they were so insecure that my affection was rejected and shown as a sign of weakness as a man. (other one felt this)

With Betty, I feel as though I can just be me and not worry about "hiding" my own self from her. She feels like the kind of person that is accepting and grateful of someone who sincerly ENJOYS being kind. I'm not saying I act like a p*ssy or something around women, i'm saying that in public i'm not afraid to hold hands, to kiss or to say some words of affection. Other gf's i've dated said their bf's were too manly to do that, and then when they saw me do it, thought I must not be behaving like a man.
I know this is off topic, but I don't feel that kind of pressure to "act" a certain way around Betty. I've just been me and she seems to love every bit of how I am. Sure, there still needs to be more time together and more things learned, but i've hid myself from others in the past and locked away who I really am to gain "love" from others. And when I break down and showed them the "real" me, they didn't want it. With Betty, i'm just going to be me and screw the games.

[jslaughter]

Besides, european girls IMHO are more marriage minded, and in general more loyal. I guess it is not bad at all

You know I hate stereotypes and generalizations and this one really ticked me off. . .

Perhaps you think because I live in small town, Florida I don't know much about "the world" but all of the NATO pilots at least START their training here so I have met alot of people from all over the world.

Most of the Eurpoeans that I have met are certainly marriage minded but they believe those vows are more of a guideline. Fidelity is often optional. The first time I heard that I thought surely some guy was just trying to justify sleeping around - his wife later confirmed it for me.

There are wonderful people ALL OVER THE WORLD - loyal, loving, and kind. Likewise there are jerks, users, and a-holes across the globe as well. So let's try not to continue to enforce such ridiculous stereotypes.

[BBC1]

You know I hate stereotypes and generalizations and this one really ticked me off. . .

Most of the Eurpoeans that I have met are certainly marriage minded but they believe those vows are more of a guideline. Fidelity is often optional.

Jslaughter,

I did not generalize much: divorce rate in US is way higher than it is in Europe (statistics). Just I see loyalty in more broad sense, not only as outright infidelity. Though of course I had to add that both european men and women are more loyal to each other and more marriage minded.

[jslaughter]

I did not generalize much: divorce rate in US is way higher than it is in Europe (statistics). Just I see loyalty in more broad sense, not only as outright infidelity. Though of course I had to add that both european men and women are more loyal to each other and more marriage minded.

At this point I would have to ask where you are and how much interaction you have actually had with people from different cultures because AGAIN to make a generalization like that seems to indicate a narrow mindness or a lack of exposure to PEOPLE from other cultures.

My point was that it is unfair to make GENERALIZATIONS as there are loyal people all over the world, even in Europe.

[BBC1]

Jslaughter,

.......At this point I would have to ask where you are

US.

and how much interaction you have actually had with people from different cultures

Quite a lot: I grew up in europe.

......because AGAIN to make a generalization like that seems to indicate a narrow mindness or a lack of exposure to PEOPLE from other cultures.

I lack the former and have plenty of the exposure (chinese, indian and arabic are some other cultures I was exposed to), I guess it is obvious now why.

......My point was that it is unfair to make GENERALIZATIONS

Sure you can find any kind of people everywhere. I was talking about the trend. I, personally, did not generalize anything: statistics about divorce rates in US and in Europe tells us facts. It is about loyalty to mates, is not it?