any help would be appreciated

[cross eyed mary]

men, i posted this same question in the ladies forum, but i really would appreciate your input.

I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 years. Great relationship on the outside. We are best friends and i cant imagine feeling this way about anyone else. Problem is , for the first 2 years he constantly lied to me about his online "activities". Chat rooms, dating sites. even swinger profiles. Every time i would catch him, hed swear it was stupid stuff and hed never do it again. Then Id get paranoid, and go checking up on him. and this would uncover more lies. Now i THINK everything is out in the open. He fell apart and swore hed never hurt me again, we agreed on a fresh start. But i dont know now if i can do that. The trust is gone and i Am an insanely jealous person who basically has a panic attack every time hes on the computer. I dont want to spend my life worrying about him, but i cant shake the feeling hes still up to something. I dont want to throw everything away on the chance that he may be different. finally behaving himself. But i dont want to be a sucker. Please help me.

[Cain]

He seems addicted to the perverse.

[cross eyed mary]

Yes that thought has crossed my mind. I believe people can change but i have two kids and dont want to waste my time if its unlikely.
and the fact that lying comes so naturally, will i ever know about anything?

[vashti]

Are those kids his?

[cross eyed mary]

No they are mine from a previous marriage.

[vashti]

I wouldn't take ANY chances with a man who wasn't the father of my children. NONE. This isn't a matter of just you and him potentially having a screwed up relationship, but also a matter of exposing your children to someone you already have reservations about.

No way.

[littlewing]

2 years of this??? This is a lot of sh*t...

[cross eyed mary]

thats actually another issue i have. My kids are pretty attached. Hes great with them too. i would hate to be the unforgiving bitch and tear him away from them when he's a changed man. i am so confused . Is it me who has the problem or him?

[twisted]

maybe in the long run it would be better for your kids if you broke it off now. sooner rather than later...

[lesa]

What happened to my post?

[cross eyed mary]

thank you to all of you for your responses. I think i do need to get out of here, now its just a matter of figuring out how .

[Cain]

Just do it. It's not going to be easy for him no matter how you do it, but it needs to be done. He's constantly said that he'll change and you've constantly caught him lying. Tell him that. Do NOT let him change your mind.

[Mish]

Once trust is gone it's gone. You can't repair what's no longer there.

He should've known better.

[Smith]

Well you can go online and do the same stuff behind his back and just keep a stright fact about it. In that it will be even and you should not feel bad about it because he did it to you first.

[misombra]

so, why are you still with this person?