Girlfriend wants to take a break, very complicated situation (long)

[lordv]

“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell”.

Good quote, it really speaks to me.

Had some hard talks with some friends, family and got some advice, alot of "Only self centered people cheat, if she cared about that person she would have told them first and done the right thing". She have made a mistake but it speaks volume's about her personality, why would you be any different.

Which i can't say i disagree with, so alot of thinking to do to make sure that being with her is the right choice.

Friend reccomended a great therapist he went through with his divorce, and if i do decide to persue it then i will go talk to him.

Thanks everyone for your advice, its helped

[Cain]

I didn't read everyone's replies.

Instead, I just want to say it serves you right. You're the kind of asshole that I hate. You flirted with a married woman and had sex with her. She's at fault as well, but you're just as much to blame imo.

Why be with someone that will cheat on her husband with you? She'll cheat on you too.

I hope you both get back together. You deserve each other.

[Cain]

Do you want this gal to leave her husband for you? Are just just wanting a fling with a 'safe' married woman? Are you prepared for the husband to come after you with a baseball bat?

I wanted to quote this, because it's definitely something you should be worried about. If my gf cheated on me and the guy didn't know she was taken, I'd let him off the hook but she and I would be done. If he DID know, I'd be beating his ass. If I was MARRIED to her and he knew... I'd be burying his body.

[lordv]

I didn't read everyone's replies.

Instead, I just want to say it serves you right. You're the kind of asshole that I hate. You flirted with a married woman and had sex with her. She's at fault as well, but you're just as much to blame imo.

Why be with someone that will cheat on her husband with you? She'll cheat on you too.

I hope you both get back together. You deserve each other.

I can't say i disagree with you on the fact that im just as much to blame, infact i totally agree. It takes two to tango.

Re-thinking that whole scenario today and that fact that maybe she would, had no issues with trusting her before until i was hit from left field with this. So we will see what happens.

As for worrying about him comming after me, won't happen. Not the type of person he is. Even if he did, to put it bluntly, it would be a stupid idea on his part im by far bigger then him, bodybuilder, in great shape, and 10 years younger then him. He isnt in very good shape. Not stateing the fact he couldnt just come find me with a .45 and shoot my ass, but just dont see him doing it. Can't say i would blame him if he did however.

[Cain]

I can't say i disagree with you on the fact that im just as much to blame, infact i totally agree. It takes two to tango.

Re-thinking that whole scenario today and that fact that maybe she would, had no issues with trusting her before until i was hit from left field with this. So we will see what happens.

As for worrying about him comming after me, won't happen. Not the type of person he is. Even if he did, to put it bluntly, it would be a stupid idea on his part im by far bigger then him, bodybuilder, in great shape, and 10 years younger then him. He isnt in very good shape. Not stateing the fact he couldnt just come find me with a .45 and shoot my ass, but just dont see him doing it. Can't say i would blame him if he did however.

I'm glad you mentioned the .45. I could care less if the guy I was going after was bigger... because I'd be finding a way to take him down. Remember, size isn't everything.

And regardless, you still should show some damn respect and not mess with a married woman. Do you not have any integrity?

[IndiReloaded]

Cain just likes to persecute others & rub their noses in their failings, LordV, don't take it personally.

Cain, I hope you never become a parent. At least not at your present maturity level. You are the sort that would make a child who *knows* they just made a mistake feel absolutely horrid about it.

Guilt is an overrated concept & of limited utility. So is false superiority.

How are you expecting your berating attitude to *improve* anyone's outlook on things? Just something to think about re: your own 'personal development issue' we were discussing in that other thread, hmmm?

[IndiReloaded]

I can't say i disagree with you on the fact that im just as much to blame, infact i totally agree. It takes two to tango.

Re-thinking that whole scenario today and that fact that maybe she would, had no issues with trusting her before until i was hit from left field with this. So we will see what happens.

As for worrying about him comming after me, won't happen. Not the type of person he is. Even if he did, to put it bluntly, it would be a stupid idea on his part im by far bigger then him, bodybuilder, in great shape, and 10 years younger then him. He isnt in very good shape. Not stateing the fact he couldnt just come find me with a .45 and shoot my ass, but just dont see him doing it. Can't say i would blame him if he did however.

Even if she leaves him, LordV, the question you will need to ask yourself is: if she did it to him, will she do it to me?

Aside from the statistics I mentioned (which I said are not in your favour), the only way I can imagine your relationship surviving is that she leaves her husband for her own reasons. They need to be things she is already unhappy in the relationship about. And that she would be divorcing her husband over even if you weren't in a relationship with her.

Because if she's leaving him for you, and he's fundamentally otherwise a good guy, then I would be very, very worried that she will leave you in the same situation before long.

Imagine a monkey hanging from a tree branch. The branch is solid, and gives her decent fulfilling of her needs, but you are a new branch she's spotted, with juicy fruit she'd like to have, but she's not willing to let go of her current branch until she's certain the new one is willing & able to support her weight.

Trouble is, there are an awful lot of good branches out there... who knows what she'll spot once she's secure in her new perch.

[Cain]

There's topics where I have no problem giving helpful advice, but when it comes to common sense shit where someone has pulled an absolute asshole move such as cheating or screwing with a married woman, it kind of takes away any wanting to give good advice.

It might be different if he realized it was a mistake, but he still looks at her as his girlfriend and thinks that he deserves her over her husband.

[lordv]

Even if she leaves him, LordV, the question you will need to ask yourself is: if she did it to him, will she do it to me?

Aside from the statistics I mentioned (which I said are not in your favour), the only way I can imagine your relationship surviving is that she leaves her husband for her own reasons. They need to be things she is already unhappy in the relationship about. And that she would be divorcing her husband over even if you weren't in a relationship with her.

Because if she's leaving him for you, and he's fundamentally otherwise a good guy, then I would be very, very worried that she will leave you in the same situation before long.

Imagine a monkey hanging from a tree branch. The branch is solid, and gives her decent fulfilling of her needs, but you are a new branch she's spotted, with juicy fruit she'd like to have, but she's not willing to let go of her current branch until she's certain the new one is willing & able to support her weight.

Trouble is, there are an awful lot of good branches out there... who knows what she'll spot once she's secure in her new perch.

Even if she leaves him, LordV, the question you will need to ask yourself is: if she did it to him, will she do it to me?

Aside from the statistics I mentioned (which I said are not in your favour), the only way I can imagine your relationship surviving is that she leaves her husband for her own reasons. They need to be things she is already unhappy in the relationship about. And that she would be divorcing her husband over even if you weren't in a relationship with her.

Because if she's leaving him for you, and he's fundamentally otherwise a good guy, then I would be very, very worried that she will leave you in the same situation before long.

Imagine a monkey hanging from a tree branch. The branch is solid, and gives her decent fulfilling of her needs, but you are a new branch she's spotted, with juicy fruit she'd like to have, but she's not willing to let go of her current branch until she's certain the new one is willing & able to support her weight.

Trouble is, there are an awful lot of good branches out there... who knows what she'll spot once she's secure in her new perch.

Absolutely correct about what you said and those are questions that MUST be answered, and were answered.

Such as.

If you cheated on him why will i be any different.
Why did you do this to him.
Why do you want to divorce him.
Why were you un-happy
You know this is wrong yet you did it anyways why? (Yes wrong on my part too and something i need to figure out why i was willing to do it too, that does say something)
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to earn my trust and respect.
Why didn't you try to work it out with him, or atleast tell him and do the right thing?
You want to divorce him for your own reasons or because of me?

She has also been seeing a therapist to iron out these problems, she knows she made a mistake (doing it the wrong way, not saying i havent too, i have and will go talk to a therapist) and wants to understand why so it doesnt happen again

Women are like monkeys - they don't let go of one branch until they have firm hold on the next

[sine24]

Such a selfish selfish selfish thing to do. have you no heart? its people like you who corrupt the world. if she didnt love her husband you could have waited until she at least got a divorce before having her husband find your disgusting chatlogs. Thats disgraceful! No one said you INTENDED for this to happen, but you'd think that a 25-year old would be able to predict the consequences. People got hurt and all you can think about is annoying her while she wants to get away from you. Your just a toyboy to her right now, the moment will pass and you'll eventually be left wondering where she is all of a sudden. in fact, it seems the feeling has already passed, and she's just waiting a few weeks until she's all hot and horny. you're just an availability to her. you dont seem to have the qualities that any real woman would want in a relationship...DISHONEST, EMOTIONLESS, CLINGY, INCONSIDERATE ETC... karma will come around eventually and kick your immature ass.

[Kromat]

If women were happy with their husbands, we wouldn't have
people like him around, going after the wounded animal.
She was probably having an agreement, and just wanted
someone to comfort her...
lordv took advantage of her fragile state, and shagged her...
Typical male move.

Hopefully you'll stop seeing her, so you don't do
anything stupid or hurt others in the process.
There are so many women out there, If you find out their
taken, turn around and go searching for someone else...
With over 1 billion women to choose from, there's bound to be
1 girl that you will like, or be able to tolerate your personality.

P.S. First off, work on yourself before trying to get involved
again, or you'll just get the beat down each time.

[Cain]

Such a selfish selfish selfish thing to do. Did you EVER think how your stupid fling could affect her kids? have you no heart? its people like you who corrupt the world. if she didnt love her husband you could have waited until she at least got a divorce before having her husband find your disgusting chatlogs. Thats disgraceful! No one said you INTENDED for this to happen, but you'd think that a 25-year old would be able to predict the consequences. People got hurt and all you can think about is annoying her while she wants to get away from you. Your just a toyboy to her right now, the moment will pass and you'll eventually be left wondering where she is all of a sudden. in fact, it seems the feeling has already passed, and she's just waiting a few weeks until she's all hot and horny. you're just an availability to her. you dont seem to have the qualities that any real woman would want in a relationship...DISHONEST, EMOTIONLESS, CLINGY, INCONSIDERATE ETC... karma will come around eventually and kick your immature ass.

Where in his post did he mention she had children in that marriage? The only thing I saw was that they discussed children in one of their chats.

If she DOES have children in that marriage, you might have ruined any chance she has of getting custody. Many judges view adultery as a horrible offense and will not let the adulterer have custody of the child.

Congratulations.

[IndiReloaded]

There are no children.

I asked this in my first reply post.

Anyway, the OP seems to be MIA for now.

[Cain]

I asked this in my first reply post.

Anyway, the OP seems to be MIA for now.

The bf probably finished him off.