Advice about boyfriend's relationship with sister

[strawberry86]

Hey Everyone!
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now and I have always been slightly bothered by his relationship with his sister. I don't have a brother myself so maybe I don't really understand what a close brother/sister relationship is like, but I would like your opinions. I've noticed that my boyfriend and his sister like to constantly joke about incest. I read some of his online and texting conversations with her (bad on my part i know ) and she often makes joking comments about having sex with him and how she wants to "bang" him. They slap each other on the butt a lot. I confronted my boyfriend about this, and he said it was just his sister's way of saying i love you. I know nothing is going on between them, physically and I know that my boyfriend and I love each other very much. I just wanted to know if this was normal behavior between siblings? Thank you.

[vashti]

Hmm... I don't talk to my brother this way. It could just be a matter of immaturity. How old are they?

[strawberry86]

My boyfriend is 22 and his sister is 18.

[vashti]

Well, I suppose a lot of 18 year olds have not yet learned to curb their sexual behaviors, which after all, are relatively new for them. Your boyfriend should not be encouraging this. He is probably too embarrassed to tell her how inappropriate she is behaving. He also needs to quit patting her ass.

Do their parents see this kind of stuff going on? If so, how do they react?

[strawberry86]

They're parents don't really see this going on. You are right though, it's mainly his sister that makes the comments. He makes them once in awhile. Also, their parents were very explicit about their sex life when my boyfriend and his sister were younger. They could hear them having sex because all their rooms were so close. Do you think this exposure could be a reason why they act this way?

[vashti]

I don't know. Lots of kids have heard (or seen) their parents have sex. I know I did when I accidentally barged into my parent's room when I was a girl. (Yuck.) I still don't have this sort of relationship with my brother.

I suggest you have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend about this. Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and that you think there are some boundaries being crossed, whether they realize it or not. In the end, if they can't control this behavior, you will have to decide whether or not you will stick around.

[1averagejoe]

That's a little awkward...I'd never do or say that stuff with my sister.

[To0C0oL]

I dont see the big deal here.. When they start ****in, then be concerned..

[Mish]

confronted my boyfriend about this, and he said it was just his sister's way of saying i love you.

Well, it looks like it's just a joke so nothing to worry about.

Get one of your best friends to go out with you and your bf more often, slap him on the ass and get him to slap you back. It's just your way of saying that you love each other as friends.

See what your bf says

[bluesummer]

I have never heard of anyone making such jokes. I'm sorry, that's really weird. I would keep my eye on those two.

[Gribble]

That's disgusting.

I love my sister more than anything in the world. But I'd never make a joke like that. Ewh.

[mtinlove]

uh yea thats NOWHERE NEAR BEING NORMAL and turns my stomach... does his sister have any mental issues? (not trying to be funny, im being serious) because all of this is way out line. I have 2 brothers and neither of them have ever said anything anywhere near sexual to me nor my other sister, and we havent ever said anything near sexual to them.... I dont think this is normal and I think there is something definately wrong.

[Cain]

I know of two people that would find that acceptable. Hell, they even kiss.

Angelina Jolie and her brother.

[strawberry86]

uh yea thats NOWHERE NEAR BEING NORMAL and turns my stomach... does his sister have any mental issues? (not trying to be funny, im being serious) because all of this is way out line. I have 2 brothers and neither of them have ever said anything anywhere near sexual to me nor my other sister, and we havent ever said anything near sexual to them.... I dont think this is normal and I think there is something definately wrong.

Actually it's quite the opposite. His sister is probably the most intelligent person I have met for her age. She's first in her class (she's a senior in high school). The thing is my boyfriend has two sisters. His older sister (the senior in high school) acts this way with him, so he jokes with her back. His younger sister is 16 and doesn't joke like that with him but she's very close to him as well. His older sister also jokes about my boyfriend and I having sex. She always jokingly asks him if he raped me last night. I feel like she just likes talking about sex and she's not really shy at all around her brother.

[vashti]

She sounds a little nuts.