emotional abuse

[nyc123]

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in a while because during the year I'm so busy at school and such. But here summer comes again, and boredom and contemplation have brought me right back to loveforum.

So the (VERY) long story short is that I dated this guy on and off for about 6 months. We were never really official, but he seems to have screwed me up pretty badly. I can truly say that I loathe him for all the things he put me through. Looking back, I can verifiably say that he was emotionally abusive. The more I think about how much I put up with, the more angry I get.

The problem is, since I last heard from him about 4 months ago, he's popped into my mind at least once a day since then. No matter how much I want to forget about him, memories keep popping up to haunt me. Maybe it's because I feel like I let so many things go unsaid. I know he thinks he's done nothing wrong, and that kills me.

I'm contemplating writing a letter to him saying everything I've ever wanted to say but never had the guts to. I'm not sure if I should just write it and burn it for myself or if I should actually send it to him. Part of me really wants him to know what a completely terrible person he is. Another part of me is just completely FINISHED with expending my time, energies, and emotions on him. I really just want his memory to be out of my life forever, but nothing I've done seems to be working.

This post was mostly for me to vent, but if anyone has any input on my situation, I'm all ears.

[Illusional]

leave the past in the past if it will only cause you pain. plain and simple.

raverboy

[Lipp]

Err, well, while it wasn't like that I was severely annoyed with the prolonged actions of a friend (as in another girl but not relationship-based) of mine and was intending to call it quits, and just saying all there is to be said and waiting for one response (though in your case you'd might want to avoid that) before cutting all connections worked perfectly well.

[WingsOfDarkness]

The suggestion of writing it all out for yourself and burning it is actually a good one.It's worked for me in the past.You shouldn't send it to him (in my opinion) Because it opens the door for him to cause you pain again.He'd probably either read it and not care, or not even take the time to read it.And either way would probably use the fact you tried to contact him to hurt you again.

In time it will get easier, especially after you meet someone else who DESERVES your time, energy, and emotion

[Pears]

It's a good idea to write down all your thoughts about him, but don't send it to him. You want to be the cool and collected person who's moved on, not the wrecked person who still obsesses over the time wasted. It also helps to vent to good friends who also don't like him.

[IndiReloaded]

Yep, write it but don't send it.

Sending a 'complaint' letter to him is not wise under the circumstances. He's not emotionally invested in you, so you won't get the response you hope for (if any). And if your hope is to change him, or somehow make him 'see the light', you're just fooling yourself. If that were possible, you wouldn't have had the issues you had when you were dating.

Think about what you've learned from this experience & let karma take care of the rest. His issues will eventually get him what he deserves, believe it.

[Gigabitch]

I agree with everyone about writing and not sending the letter. I also think you should seriously consider sticking pins in a voodoo doll. I am so not kidding. No, I don't believe in voodoo, but I think it would be supremely satisfying to stick a pin in his eye, even in effigy. In fact, you can throw the voodoo doll on the fire when you burn the letter.

[WingsOfDarkness]

I agree with everyone about writing and not sending the letter. I also think you should seriously consider sticking pins in a voodoo doll. I am so not kidding. No, I don't believe in voodoo, but I think it would be supremely satisfying to stick a pin in his eye, even in effigy. In fact, you can throw the voodoo doll on the fire when you burn the letter.

That's actually a great idea!!! =D

[Pears]

I also think you should seriously consider sticking pins in a voodoo doll.

I close my eyes and imagine the subject getting murdered over and over in different ways and styles. It really is satisfying.

[Mish]

This post was mostly for me to vent, but if anyone has any input on my situation, I'm all ears.

Stuff sending the letter, he might never get it. Call him up, be nice, say you would like to meet up with him to catch up on things and then once you meet him just let it all out in person and then just walk off like nothing happened

Revenge is a dish best served cold

[Pears]

He may not want to meet up at all and then she may just sound desperate. I don't think it's a good idea, Mish.

[Mish]

He may not want to meet up at all and then she may just sound desperate. I don't think it's a good idea, Mish.

Ways can be found

"Hey, I just found something that belongs to you. Meet me at ___ i'll give it to you"

[nyc123]

thanks for all the advice, everyone. it pretty much confirms what i thought i should do. except the part about the voodoo doll; i hadn't thought of that. sounds like a good plan, though. i'll let you guys know how it goes!