Originally Posted by
squirrley
Its disgusting, and when I try to explain my view point, all Chris sees is the legality of it. Ok, I get it.
Wow.., I hope I don't get to be like that.., but I guess that's a fate I can't really avoid..,
Don't let it get you down.., he definitely means well.., it's just that.., in his mind.., when he wants to know "why" something is "wrong/bad/not right".., he has to put the whole puzzle together.., he needs to think facts.., he needs to think "law".., rules broken.., arguments to be made.., and unless he does that.., then he can't accept or consider something to be right or wrong.., it's the way a legal education programs its students to think.., unless you speak his language.., "feelings.., views.., and opinions" matter very little.., and he'll have a hard time taking them seriously..
But don't let it make you feel upset at him.., again.., it's just the result of law school brainwashing.., taking in normal people and turning them into something cold.., bitter.., emotionless.., a "lawyer"..
When he says something like that.., take a step back.., give him his moment.., his space.., let him go on his legal-logic rant.., and then look at him.., smirk.., go up to him and kiss him if need be.., laugh if it helps.., look him in the eye and tell him:
"Sweetie.., can you just forget about the law for just one moment.., whatever you say it is legally.., you're right.., it sounds good.., the law is what it is.., and according to the facts.., it's either right or wrong.., you're a brilliant lawyer sweetie.., and if you say so.., I trust you.., and I agree with you.., but what if you just take that.., and put it on the side now.., and as a person.., just as a person.., how does that situation make you feel? Forget about if it's right or wrong.., just.., how does it make you feel? You do remember what feelings are right?"
Smile.., keep it friendly and playful.., fun.., no need to keep it too serious.., (you can win more with honey than with vinegar).., sooner or later.., you'll get him thinking about how he "feels".., don't rush to push the point.., just let him explore how he feels about it.., and casually talk about how you "feel" about it.., without taking any side or position of who is right or wrong.., or if there's something good or bad going on.., let him be the judge of that with his "feelings" now.., if you push.., he'll get defensive and revert back to logic.., where he knows he will win.., that's where he feels safe.., so just let him feel safe with "feelings.., views.., opinions".., HIS "feelings.., views.., opinions".., that way.., he'll be more comfortable talking about the issue without bringing up the "legality" of things..
Best,
GrkScorp
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.