Asking out a Girl from your class who you havent talked to all semester

[18yearoldvirgin]

I have specifically registered on this forum to ask this question since my college semester ends in less then a few weeks...

How do you ask out a girl you've always noticed in class, and who seems to always notice you. Its weird, i dont know if anyones experienced this. Its like you can see in the corner of your eye that shes always looking at you, and sometimes you get the impression she notices you noticing her too but you seldom if ever make eye contact. Anyway, thats what ive been going through this whole semester and have never had the balls to let her know how i feel.

Does anyone else thinks its extremely hard to ask a girl out with the entire class around? Where do you ask her? You follow her all the way to her car before asking? Dont think so. Im so damn shy that the few times shes said something to me i said nothing, i dont want to get into that but its not what you think.

Anyway, blah blah blah, i guess the gist of what im trying to say is, how do you ask a girl out who you never talked to in your class all semester, and where do you ask her when everyones always around. Please respond to this, pleeease. I am 18 and i still have no girlfriend because of my countless blown opportunities because of my introverted personality. the semester ends in like two weeks, I need to work fast. HELP! thank you so much to those who took the time to read and respond.

[PussyCatDoll]

so what if your 18 and don't have a gf?

i think you need to ask a few girls to build some confidence.

[GhostJ]

so what if your 18 and don't have a gf?

Yea I am 23 and I don't have a gf either.

[GrkScorp]

First of all.., your post really pissed me off.., I found it to be insulting.., it reaks of desperation.., you're 18! There are men who are 10 years older than you.., and have only had one girlfriend their whole life.., it's not the end of the world.., 18 is a good and normal starting point.., it's not a race.., and it sure as hell isn't a competition.., so calm down and relax first of all..

let her know how i feel.

How you FEEL? Well.., how DO you feel? About someone you know nothing about.., about someone you've only exchanged glances with? Tell us.., what "feelings" or deep emotions do you have for this person? I'm sorry if i'm being a little hard on you.., but I mean you well.., hopefully you'll realize for yourself.., that you don't really "feel" anything for her.., the only thing you do "feel".., is attraction.., you think she looks cute.., dresses well.., she caught your eye.., and from that alone.., you're creating reasons in your head that have convinced you.. "oh.., she's such a great person.., such an amazing person.., I heard the sound of her voice a couple of times.., and ahh!.., and the way she moves and smiles.., etc".., Do you see what I mean?

So.., if you're going up to her.., and your motives are THOSE.., and those alone.., then it's obvious why you feel guilty.., and nervous.., you're basically communicating the message.., "I don't know the first thing about you.., but I felt strongly motivated to come over and talk to you.., and ask you out to dinner some time".. that's a little uncomfortable.. not to say some people won't be flattered.., but you're not looking to pump up anyone's ego..

Does anyone else thinks its extremely hard to ask a girl out with the entire class around?

No.., would it be any different if the whole world was around? Or would it be any easier if the two of you were alone? Then is it really the class that is the problem?

Where do you ask her? You follow her all the way to her car before asking? Dont think so. Im so damn shy that the few times shes said something to me i said nothing, i dont want to get into that but its not what you think.

You haven't even talked to her! What on earth are you going to ask her? Follow her from her car? Ok.., I have some things you MUST read to avoid a potential retraining order.. (and get you a date with the girl in question)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/personal-development-forum/21752-you-see-someone-you-like-how-do-you-go-may-last-time-you-see-them.html[/url]

The link above is more than enough of a wealth of information you'll find most useful in seeing the change you want to see for yourself..

Best,

GrkScorp

[littlewing]

You can ask your buddies to put on masks and try to rob or attack her, then you beat the crap out of them and save her...

[Gigabitch]

You can ask your buddies to put on masks and try to rob or attack her, then you beat the crap out of them and save her...

Don't listen to this crazy kid.

If you can't bring yourself to approach her, why don't you write her a little love note? It's a bit lame, but it's better than just letting her slip through your fingers.

Is it too late to ask her to prom?

[18yearoldvirgin]

First of all.., your post really pissed me off.., I found it to be insulting.., it reaks of desperation.., you're 18! There are men who are 10 years older than you.., and have only had one girlfriend their whole life.., it's not the end of the world.., 18 is a good and normal starting point.., it's not a race.., and it sure as hell isn't a competition.., so calm down and relax first of all..
GrkScorp

I wouldn't say desperation, perhaps anxious. I wouldn't go home and cry myself to sleep if she rejected a night out with me.

How you FEEL? Well.., how DO you feel? About someone you know nothing about.., about someone you've only exchanged glances with? Tell us.., what "feelings" or deep emotions do you have for this person? I'm sorry if i'm being a little hard on you.., but I mean you well.., hopefully you'll realize for yourself.., that you don't really "feel" anything for her.., the only thing you do "feel".., is attraction.., you think she looks cute.., dresses well.., she caught your eye.., and from that alone.., you're creating reasons in your head that have convinced you.. "oh.., she's such a great person.., such an amazing person.., I heard the sound of her voice a couple of times.., and ahh!.., and the way she moves and smiles.., etc".., Do you see what I mean?

Having a physical attraction to someone you want to have an intimate relationship is a primordial step to a healthy one. No obviously I dont know her, but she gives me the impression of an intelligent, aesthetic, art-appreciative girl which is right up my alley. So this impression is enough for me to want to get to know her more than the judgements i made. fyi, airheads are a huge turn off for me no matter how beautiful they are. and i am positive she is not an airhead whenever i hear her talk about the things she talks about in class. I am not about sex, sex is icing on the cake, but getting to know her is what im aiming for because she seems like a very interesting girl.

So.., if you're going up to her.., and your motives are THOSE.., and those alone.., then it's obvious why you feel guilty.., and nervous.., you're basically communicating the message.., "I don't know the first thing about you.., but I felt strongly motivated to come over and talk to you.., and ask you out to dinner some time".. that's a little uncomfortable.. not to say some people won't be flattered.., but you're not looking to pump up anyone's ego..

it would be nice to get to know her first but finding out what irks her and what pleases her and what her familiy reunions are like is something i won't be able to find out until i go out with her, i am left with no choice. surely you can agree that many times a guy has had to ask a girl out before getting to really know her. But you seem to know quite a bit about girl-pleasing charm so i can't argue with you about how she will feel about me asking. which is why i came to this forum, to find out what i can do before mustering up the courage to ask her out.

No.., would it be any different if the whole world was around? Or would it be any easier if the two of you were alone? Then is it really the class that is the problem?

personally for me, it would be ten times easier if no one was listening to me trying to pick up a girl. people watching you do this makes it that much harder. but as aforementioned, i guess i have no choice in this situation.

You haven't even talked to her! What on earth are you going to ask her? Follow her from her car? Ok.., I have some things you MUST read to avoid a potential retraining order.. (and get you a date with the girl in question)



The link above is more than enough of a wealth of information you'll find most useful in seeing the change you want to see for yourself..

Best,

GrkScorp

i genuinely appreciate the tough love advice you given me, considering people seldom respond with posts as thoughtful as yours. but the link just gives adviceabout the physchological state you should be in when asking a girl out, not advice on HOW to ask a girl out who you will never see again per se. I understand the physcology of it just as the guy you responded to you did. But knowing how to climb mount everest, and actually doing it are two different things. again thank you for your post.

[GrkScorp]

i genuinely appreciate the tough love advice you given me, considering people seldom respond with posts as thoughtful as yours. but the link just gives adviceabout the physchological state you should be in when asking a girl out, not advice on HOW to ask a girl out who you will never see again per se. I understand the physcology of it just as the guy you responded to you did. But knowing how to climb mount everest, and actually doing it are two different things. again thank you for your post.

That thread.., contains links within it.., one of those links.., sends you on threads that talk about "Opening".., it's filled with good examples.., but the words are not what is important.., just the general framework and concepts of opening.. Take a look at the first link again.., and as you're looking through the thread.., you'll see a post packed with links.., I suggest you look through all of them (in order).., but if you feel you just want to know more about opening.., then just look at the ones that have to do with opening..

Best,

GrkScorp

[18yearoldvirgin]

That thread.., contains links within it.., one of those links.., sends you on threads that talk about "Opening".., it's filled with good examples.., but the words are not what is important.., just the general framework and concepts of opening.. Take a look at the first link again.., and as you're looking through the thread.., you'll see a post packed with links.., I suggest you look through all of them (in order).., but if you feel you just want to know more about opening.., then just look at the ones that have to do with opening..

Best,

GrkScorp

i have already thoroughly, methodically, and religiously read through all those links provided. very good reading. but i can't help but still be left with questions, unanswered i might add. You have to show interest in an opening with a girl without looking needy, but not the kind without face value. I understand that completely now thanks to your point of view of a girl's perspective. So how do i go up to to this particular girl without looking desperate who has been in my class all semester and now that i know i will never see her again i go up to her trying to get to know her. its too late to sit next to her to talk to her in the last few class sessions, that would be creepy. But she has shown interest to me when i catch her smiling at me or looking at me multiple times during class. So responding to this wouldn't be desperate...right? But then you mentioned that whole thing about how "she'll realize you don't know her and by showing interest you just want sex". it all seems to contradict itself, demoralizing me to even try asking her out. how do you feel i should respond to her showing interest in me without making me look desperate, horny, or creepy?

[Kromat]

But she has shown interest
to me when i catch her smiling at me or looking at
me multiple times during class. So responding to this
wouldn't be desperate...right? But then you mentioned
that whole thing about how "she'll realize you don't
know her and by showing interest you just want sex".
it all seems to contradict itself, demoralizing me to
even try asking her out. how do you feel i should
respond to her showing interest in me without
making me look desperate, horny, or creepy?

If you don't want to look too desperate,
just talk like you would to a friend.

Some opening questions...

" Can you believe that 5 years has
flown by so fast? It's gonna be hard to
see our friends move away to different
universities when you had such a connection,
hopefully things will work out and we'll be
able to hang out with them on the weekends,
when we're open. "

" The semester is almost over, what did you
think of this class compared to your others? '

" It's kind of awkward that we sit with people
all semester, but we don't get a chance to talk
o everyone, It would make getting in groups
with anyone a lot easier, because you know
what they have to offer. "

" I've applied to these schools ..... and hopefully
I'll get a response to my 1st two choices, since I
don't want to travel to far. Any luck on your
selections and the field your going into" ?

" This warm weather is so nice to see, we had
such a rough winter and soon we'll be able to
go to the beach and just relax. "

P.S. If you don't start with asking it as a
date, it makes it easier for someone to open up.

Just ask general questions that everyone is
going through, or what the weather is, give her
some advice or suggestions, make it seem like
you want someone to hear what you have to
say without being too aggressive to suggest a hint.

Your trying to act, like your talking to
your own friends, since there's no pressure.

[GrkScorp]

You have to show interest in an opening with a girl without looking needy, but not the kind without face value. I understand that completely now thanks to your point of view of a girl's perspective. So how do i go up to to this particular girl without looking desperate who has been in my class all semester and now that i know i will never see her again i go up to her trying to get to know her. its too late to sit next to her to talk to her in the last few class sessions, that would be creepy. But she has shown interest to me when i catch her smiling at me or looking at me multiple times during class. So responding to this wouldn't be desperate...right? But then you mentioned that whole thing about how "she'll realize you don't know her and by showing interest you just want sex". it all seems to contradict itself, demoralizing me to even try asking her out. how do you feel i should respond to her showing interest in me without making me look desperate, horny, or creepy?

First of all.., when you open.., THERE IS NO TRACE OF INTEREST!

NOTHING IN THE OPENING IMPLIES OR OTHERWISE SUGGESTS INTEREST!

The last thing you want to do.., is open a group or a single person.., and send out or imply interest of any kind..

Kromat did a great job of setting you up with some very good openers.. Notice that they all lack interest.. How?

Each is plausable.., (very likely).., deniable.., (you can't seriously consider this trying to hit on you.., that would be a bit of an ego there missy.., I was just talking about ___).., and relevent to the situation.. PLUS (very important).., you're not trying to push the interaction to get her attention/interest/favor.., those are not your motives at all.., in fact.., not only are you free of those motives.., but for your opener to be congruent and truly under the radar.., you have to believe that you have other motives.., (your opener)..

Get involved in your opener..

Example: (Me.., at the worst place to pick up women.., a bar during happy hour)

(Walk up.., alone.., to a group of 3 girls and a guy sitting at the bar)

Me: Hey guys..., can I just borrow 2 of you for 5 minutes?
Girl: Why?
Me: Well.., you'll see.., any two of you.., as long as you're both really good friends
Girl: Well.., i'm sitting down.., I don't wanna get up..
Me: (quickly look away at one of her friends.., as if she doesn't matter anymore "punishment for defiance")..
Other Girl: What are we doing?
Me: You'll see when we go there.., i'm right over there at that table.., but before we go.., are you two pretty close friends?
Other Girl: Yeah..
Me: Perfect.. (softly but firmly take one girl's hand and start walking towards the table I was sitting at.., her "i'm not getting off my chair" friend and the guy start to follow us)

(The opener worked.., but it can backfire at any second if I don't follow through.., remember.., it MUST be congruent.., it must all check off.., it has to make sense and contain some other motives.., or else abscent those other motives.., the only motive that comes to mind is.., (1). he's interested in me.., (2). why? (3). Looks.., (4). Failed)

Me: (Psychic powers routine.., i'm not sharing.., it's my best kept secret).., OK.., so first of all.., we just met.. right?
Girls: Yeah..
Me: (look over at my friend and smile.., then look back at them) Good.., and we've never talked before.., but for just a minute ago right?
Girls: Yeah..
Me: Great.., now.., you're both friends.., really good friends..
Girls: 12 years..
Me: Wow.., really REALLY good friends..
Girls: Haha!
Me: And you definitely know more about eachother than I know about any of you.. but what we're going to do.., is that one of you is going to take a pen and four pieces of paper.., and i'm going to take a pen and four pieces of paper.., and i'm going to ask the other person.., 4 questions.., but you can think of the answer inside your head.., but you have to give us both a chance to write it down before you say it.., We're going to write it down.., put it under some object so we can't change it.., and then you'll tell everyone what the answer was.. and in the end.., we'll see who got more answers right..
Girls: Interesting.. (notice: test).., do you guys have a bet going on or is there money on us or something?
Me: Why does it matter? (notice.., get's her preoccupied with thinking i'm avoiding her question.., because there's money involved.., misdirecting her attention to something that's not important)
Girls: I just wanna know..
Me: Why?
Girls: Cuz!
Friend: No.., there's no money.., he's just showing me how to do this..

(We do the trick)

Her answers: "Rob, G, Paris, 5"
Her friend's answers: "Brian, C, Paris, 7"
My answers: "Rob, G, Paris, 5"

Her: What? How the hell did you do that? What's the trick?
Me: There is no trick.
Her: Common! Tell me.., I wanna know..
Me: I don't know why you don't believe me..
Her: Because I don't.., now tell me..
Me: I'll tell you what.., there's a Sprite can next to you.., the one that's been there ever since you sat down.., under it is a small paper.., before I called you over.., I wrote a name on it.., you still didn't tell me your name..
Her: (looks under can.., opens paper) What the fcuk!
Me: We're actually leaving right now.. but what I want to know.., is how you feel about meeting someone who knows more about you than your friend of 12 years..
My friend: That's a great trick man.., you need to show me how to do that (he's seen the trick a million times btw.. each time he says the same thing)

(The opener clicks.., it connects.., makes a full circle.., and that particular interaction ended with a "do you have a card?".. the more refined female version of "can I get your number?")

[GrkScorp]

So how do i go up to to this particular girl without looking desperate who has been in my class all semester and now that i know i will never see her again i go up to her trying to get to know her.

See.., you were quick to overlook the psychology behind Inner Game.. you quickly dismissed it.., and rushed strait for the opener..

Newton had to invent Calculus.., just so he could invent Physics.. we're talking pure genius here.., now.., he couldn't just jump from nothing to Physics.., there's a fundamental middle step..

In any interaction in life.., not just for the opposite sex.., that fundamental middle step is Inner Game.., it is your unfair advantage over everyone else.., it's the core of your personal power.. It comes from within.., and radiates externally quite naturally.. effortlessly..

In the above post.., you might be thinking.. (no fcukn' way.., there's no way he went up to complete strangers.., in a group of not just 3 girls.., but a guy in it aswell.., and got them all to come to his table and sit with his friends in under 1 minute.., there has to be more to that than what he wrote).., and YES.., you're right.., "what" came out of my mouth was about 7% of the reason I got that reaction.., the other 93% of the reason I got that reaction and result.., was because of alternate communication.., other messages I was sending off.., confidence.., sense of being comfortable and secure about myself.., zero traces of interest in my voice/face/body-language.., even the content of my speech was devoid of any interest.., I asked for "any" 2 people to come along.., just as long as they were "close friends".., and "for 5 minutes".. (that 93%.., is directly Inner Game.., the 7% is indirectly Inner Game.., so either way you look at it.., you can't afford to overlook Inner Game)

If you want to split it up into categories:

- Interested - Shy (You can get away with more than you think)
- Interested - Acting (Mild Inner Game required)
- Not yet interested (Strong Inner Game required)

From what you've said.., she sounds Interested/shy.., in which case you'd be doing her the favor of opening up to her... Any way you do it would be much appreciated..

Try and focus on Inner Game before you look at opening.., your state of mind is ultimately more important.., it will have the final & automatic say in your actions.., it will be the conductor.., so make sure it's a competent one.., I hooked 3 girls and a guy in roughly one minute.., got a girl to ask for my number and called it a night in under 20.., I think it's more than possible that you can do the same.., in a shorter amount of time.. considering it's not only just one girl.., but she's already given you indications of interest.. you're starting out warm (not cold).., and with no obsticles in the way.., there's no reason you should be feeling nervous.., if you think you still are.., that just means you need to focus on Inner Game a little bit more carefully.. (it's like a religion.., meditate on it.., give yourself some time to self-reflect.., don't be afraid to get lost in deep thoughts.., now)

Best,

GrkScorp

[bohemiandonut]

Thanks for the magic trick, David Blaine.

Now how do we get pussy again?

[littlewing]

Best starting line I ever heard was "Hi, I was sitting over there and I just wanted to come and see what are you like, in person"

If she has really been smiling at you it means she's interested and all you have to do is to say hi, chances are she'll take it from there. If not? Well you'll get rejected... shouldn't bother you. Personally I think it's hillarious if I get rejected, I just wish someday I would get bitchslapped... that would be the funniest s**t ever

[GrkScorp]

Now how do we get pussy again?

Ugh.., you and Goose.., what is it with you guys? Why can't you just enjoy the process?