Friend and another friend's ex

[Mish]

By the way, my friend said he thought about it and decided not to do it. He said he decided to bypass his horniness for integrity.

He could've easily though. That girl was like a fruit fly over him.

[Gigabitch]

Eeeew. Let her buzz around someone else. What a trollop.

[Mish]

Eeeew. Let her buzz around someone else. What a trollop.

Not only that, but she kept on making fun of her ex (Our friend) in front of him. Even in front of me as well. Her ex (our friend) did a lot of shit for her and I found it to be in really bad taste.

[IndiReloaded]

If it really offends, tell her politely that while you understand she and your friend HAD issues, he is still your friend and you think its in bad taste for her to continue trashing him. Its only making her look bad, etc.

She should go do her trash talk with HER girlfriends. Time honoured method with good reason.

[Mish]

Update, my friend took her out tonight. He brought her to our place and it straight away got filled with this aura of negativity. She she has a knack for making people feel uncomfortable. Though thankfully she didn't stay for long.

Surprised to see that my friend is that desperate, feel sorry for him a bit. It should be interesting. He'll be in it just for a bit of fun. Wonder if she's aware of that.

[Illusional]

this little fly can buzz over this way. i'm sweet like pudding too you know.

raverboy

[Mish]

Update

So he's continuing to use this girl for sex and she reluctantly obliges to his every demand knowing full well that he's using her.

I'm slowly beginning to see a darker side to my friend. A side that doesn't care about anybody else around him so long as his urges are satisfied. No regard for anything else outside of these urges. No will power or maybe no will to control them. I'm beginning to question his trustworthiness after 14 years of knowing him.


P.S. Our mutual friend and this guy aren't friends anymore. He said he can't justify trusting him anymore.

[DoesntMatter]

How old are you mish?

[Mish]

DM - 27

Whats interesting is how this example falls right into the model of value and compliance that Scorp posted.

This guy has knocked her value so low that him just showing up and talking to her guarantees sex. She'll buy him expensive gifts, anything just to obtain exclusivity that she'll never get from him, but she'll try anyway. He's got her in the palm of his hand and he'll drop her as soon as someone better is nearby. All of this is pretty sickening to watch from outside point of view.

[DoesntMatter]

DM - 27

Whats interesting is how this example falls right into the model of value and compliance that Scorp posted.

This guy has knocked her value so low that him just showing up and talking to her guarantees sex. She'll buy him expensive gifts, anything just to obtain exclusivity that she'll never get from him, but she'll try anyway. He's got her in the palm of his hand and he'll drop her as soon as someone better is nearby. All of this is pretty sickening to watch from outside point of view.

Life sucks sometimes, doesn't it?

Unfortunately these are the rules. We didn't have a hand in making them, and women are how they are, so it's nobodys fault. If it was my choice I would have it such that women were attracted to men that treated them better. I can't even completely trust the judgement of my older sister when she gets in relationships with guys, and as the brother it becomes your responsibility along with your father to keep the schmucks from fooling your sister. But my parents have done a good job in showing my sisters how they should be treated and anything less is wrong

You know, my mom (and dad) always taught me to treat women with respect. In this day and age I don't think being old school like that has much of a place anymore, but I can't just change my act like I'm flipping a switch

[GrkScorp]

Thoughts?

There's a way guys have come up with to deal with this:

(Respect)

- The least he can do to have his hands clean, and eliminate the validity of any objection in the future is to go up to his friend, explain to him how the situation is building up, where it's most likely headed, and "out of respect" grant his best friend the exclusive rights to her by telling him that if he doesn't want the two of them to start anything, because he still has feelings for her or for any other reason, that he'll respect that, and will leave her alone (it's not like she's the only woman within a 10 mile radius or anything)

- If he objects, then out of respect, she's no longer an option.. anything he does after that point is all on him..

- If he fails to object, then she's an option.. (You may pass go, you may collect $200)

[GrkScorp]

This guy has knocked her value so low that him just showing up and talking to her guarantees sex. She'll buy him expensive gifts, anything just to obtain exclusivity that she'll never get from him, but she'll try anyway. He's got her in the palm of his hand and he'll drop her as soon as someone better is nearby. All of this is pretty sickening to watch from outside point of view.

That's the downfall of the model.. which is why it's not to be explained to each and every guy on the planet.. It's to be used, not abused..

The point is to not be a d*ck, and to give her exclusivity in the end.. because that's what you want to do.. if that's not what you want to do.. what's the point?

If that's not what you want to do.. you're in fact, in effect, nothing more than, a player..

And players are hypocrites.., because on the one hand, they don't like it when women play games and toy with guys, so they use games to counter that, but don't stop there, and take it one step further and abuse games, power, and control to toy with women.. for the exact same reason women toy with guys (ego satisfaction)

But i'm happy you've seen how horrible and sickening this side and aspect is..

On the flip side, just to be fair, this girl sounds like she has low self-esteem and low perceived value and self-worth for herself.. so it's very hard to get her to realize what's going on, how it's not beneficial to her, because the personal satisfaction of being around the value he offers is so huge.. just let it be, the only thing that can stop it now is when this guy eventually gets bored.. sadly..

[vashti]

You know, my mom (and dad) always taught me to treat women with respect. In this day and age I don't think being old school like that has much of a place anymore, but I can't just change my act like I'm flipping a switch

I think you underestimate the value of being "old school". Trust me, there are females that like to be treated nicely. You just aren't meeting them because you aren't asking anyone out.

[Mish]

But i'm happy you've seen how horrible and sickening this side and aspect is..

On the flip side, just to be fair, this girl sounds like she has low self-esteem and low perceived value and self-worth for herself.. so it's very hard to get her to realize what's going on, how it's not beneficial to her, because the personal satisfaction of being around the value he offers is so huge.. just let it be, the only thing that can stop it now is when this guy eventually gets bored.. sadly..

Yeh, unfortunately

This girl is pretty, but extremely loud and annoying. She has this high pitched voice that somehow penetrates all the walls in our house. He keeps on bringing her over even in spite of mine and the other guy's objections so we can listen to hear squeal at every bit of excitement. This is wrong on so many levels.

1. He doesn't understand that she's annoying the hell out of us and he doesn't seem to care about our opinions. It's his way and thats the end of that.

2. He doesn't realize that her being over is a constant reminder of his betrayal of a mutual friend

3. He doesn't see that all of the above make him look uncaring and untrustworthy to his friends.

I don't know, we have a good history growing up together. But if something doesn't change soon I might be looking for another place.

[Illusional]

wow 27 huh? we are of the same age.

raverboy