I have this crazy image of Mish and his friends spontaneously entering a song and dance number in the middle of the club.
I have this crazy image of Mish and his friends spontaneously entering a song and dance number in the middle of the club.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
Dancefloor in NYC is a mistake, because it's just a competition among women on who will out-wh0re the other to get male attention.. They will grab you, dance with you, and grab the next guy when they're done, just to rack up numbers, and all girls around them are keeping count..
But I guess in Australia, you don't have clubs, you have club/lounge places.. Where the music is not (Rap/Hip-hop).. but (Techno/House/Trance/etc).. I see what you're talking about, i've been to such things in Greece, but I was a bit younger, so I can't really say how it would be.. Only that in Greece, and even the rest of Europe, people, especially girls, are a lot more sexually liberal and open.. So you can go into such a place, see someone you think is cute, smile, if she thinks you're cute she'll smile & touch you back.. you can dance a little, go to the bar for a drink, then go outside (the loung/beach area).. where the music isn't so loud so you an talk.. and then walk towards the beach, and well.. we know what happens on the beaches of Greece, where they have condom dispensers every 50 meters.. especially with tourist girls:
[ame="http://youtube.com/watch?v=P-tpqmRJL-g"]YouTube - Summer In Greece[/ame]
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.
O.K. first of all, work on the (clueless) issue with them a little bit.. i'm going to e-mail you some suggested readings (no, nothing mathematical like Game Theory, although you should at least get the first Mandatory reading.. it's eye-opening, and non-technical, so it's not a difficult read, plus it's very interesting and applicable).. Do NOT trample over the male-ego.. You are NOT "helping" them, "teaching" them.. with/about girls.. In reality, you're really not.. You're only allowing them to build up a strong and solid understanding and self-awareness about their character/personality/value.. and working out some group-tactics among you..
Group Characteristics:
- Your group should ALWAYS have "at least" one girl in it
- All the guys in your group who are your friends, should have their "own unique" character/personality/identity/value.. Think about your group as the Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles.. or even a Boy Band.. What is the appeal to these? That the audience, can connect to at least one of the members of the group.. Remember, the audience has a list of preferences which may or may not be revealed.. it's hard to appeal to groups in mass, if there is just one memeber, or if all members are identical or very similar.. But with different members, you cover all bases, most preferences are appealed to.. And the reality is, no matter how good of friends you are, you are all different..
Example: With the exception of how I usually go out, when i'm out with a group of guys, it's typically with Tony, Ben, and George.. Tony is a classic-rock-musician, is working on his second album, and is very spiritual and artistic.. immediately artists connect with him and feel comfortable in our group, he also keeps "her friends" busy for hours on end.. But Tony also adds a lot of fun stories.. George is a very friendly and funny guy, a really warm personality, so he adds that vibe to the group, and other guys & notties are immediately disarmed and feel at ease.. Ben and I add interesting facts and stories into the group (he's geared more towards the creative, and i'm geared more towards the analytical).. and we also both add emotional stimulation into the group.. business, law, science girls feel comfortable, english, education girls feel comfortable (oddly enough, he always gets business/law/education types, and I always end up with science/english types), and we both double-team AMOGs to disarm them and make them go puppy-dog-mode
Rules & Group-Law:
- There has to be some level of organization.. some order.. so agree to the rules, group-law, and tactics, before-hand..
- Wings: (They don't need to be guys! I usually go out with my friend Maria, and she knows that she's being my wing, she's 100% ok with it, because I find her guys and am the world's greatest emotional-tampon when she's feeling down.. when we're out, people think we're a couple.. we're very touchy and playful, and groups open up right away.. because they think "these guys are probably together, they look like it anyway, so they're not here to hit on us".. when they eventually ask "are you guys going out? how long have the two of you been together.. etc".. Maria and I say ANYTHING BUT "we're just friends".. we take a deliberate pause, she looks at me, and as she's saying "we know eachother from class, we met at __".. I say "we (just) met at/know eachother from ___".. all of it is very subtle, but creates more drama and jealousy than you could even bargain for with a male-wing.. she usually keeps her friends busy, telling them how she likes me, but isn't sure if I like her (indirect DHV)..).. Wings NEVER out-shine the Captain.. the captain has first dibs/choice/pick.. And wings will either keep everyone else busy, or settle for seconds & left-overs..
- Girl-swaps: This happens all the time.. You like girl-A, but she likes your wing.. but your wing likes girl-B who likes you.. Either one of you or both of you realize that you need to swap.. NEVER challenge a swap! Even if you REALLY like girl-A, your wing can tell better than you if she's into you or not.. Never consider a failed-swap as your friend messing things up with a girl.. NO, that's not what's happened.. make sure this is understood among the whole group, and make sure the whole group is comfortable with swaps and throwing girls out of your group.. This way, there's a fluid dynamic, and girls have no control over your group via (jealousy games; yes, make sure your group can tell when they're taking place, how to deal with them, how to not play along, and how to counter them and turn them towards the group's favor.. leaving girls with ZERO control)
Group-Tactics:
- Synergy is a great word; understand why: Insecure, self-critical, validation-seeking, and catty.. girls are vulnerable to social opinion & perceptions.. but if you are the only one ignoring your target, while the rest of your group is ignoring her friends and paying her attention.. it's counter-productive, bad teamwork, and will get you nothing.. BUT! (a favorite group-tactic of mine) If as a group, you open her group, and collectively & cooperatively ignore her, giving her just hints of attention, but pay attention to all her friends, she's going to be in a highly vulnerable (validation/attention-seeking state) where any guy can cash-in on.. To aid in this:
1. Compliments: (It's a bad idea to compliment your target, it's just flattering, it makes her feel good about herself, but it's also the kiss-of-death in terms of attraction.. but compliments are a golden-tool when used on her friends.. "I'm not hitting on you or anything, but I love your hair; skin it's so soft and smooth, eyes, smile, etc.." All you're doing is giving off compliments to her friends.. there's nothing wrong with that.. but the only person who's not getting any is the target.. and inside, her thirst for validation and attention is growing, her insecurities are growing, "why hasn't anyone commented on my hair, eyes, skin, clothes, etc?".. And the captain will engage and satisfy this thirst slowly, when he feels the time is right..
2. Locking-in/Trapping: The target will feel very uncomfortable at first; not being the object of attention & desire, while watching her friends get showered with it.. You need to know how to trap her.. Passively, by getting her friends to have a great time and like you; and actively.. by telling her to hold onto something of yours, or telling her that you want to show her something in a little bit..
3. Nobody wants to finish last: There will come a point, where the captain will want to isolate his target.. and get some alone-time away from the social pressure of her friends (allowing his target to feel free to do whatever she wants).. to add to this motivation; the captain may wisper into the target's ear.. "I think your friend and mine are getting along pretty well, let's give those two lovebirds some time alone".. when the captain and target leave, the group should know that it's time to take a girl, and split-up.. (creating the illusion through asymetric information, that everyone else has hooked-up that night, is getting lucky, is getting action, etc.. BUT for her "target").. not only will the captain get more done with his target, (number, kissing, etc..).. but the other girls will feel the same motivation & pressure, jealousy and catty-ness will start to kick in.. and her friends will actually be keeping your wings busy, not vice versa..
4. The point is to get OUT of the club: Remember, in the club, you can't really talk.. so the group has to work together to create casual reasons and excuses to go out of the club.. but build enough comfort and compliance in order to get the target and her group to follow.. It's important that EVERY member of her group has enough comfort and compliance to follow.. That's something your team should understand.. Once outside the club; talking is your secret weapon, club-tactics are sticks and stones compared to what advanced nukes you're packing.. Here, you can get to know HER as a person, and not just some dressed-up club-eye-candy.. and thus validate and make your interest in her legitimate.. plus she's also changed her plans for the night, for YOU, she's investing in you.. so she'll definitely try and give you her number..
It's just a matter of "training" your personal select Special-Ops-Elite group, and putting that in action.. Other groups don't stand a chance, and girls are largely out-matched and underprepared for what firepower you're packing, just individually, and it's almost not fair as a group of such individuals, working together in an organized and calculated manner.. you may burst out in laughing or start feeling sorry for some of the targets in some instances, but that's just a matter of how much fun you want to have, and how willing you are to tone things down a bit and take it a little easy on them once in a while..
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.
LOL!
Mish, you will make a wonderful father/husband, tho. This is exactly the right instinct for providing for a family.
Find a great woman for *yourself*. THEN, once you have her firmly attached, you can afford to be generous with your buddies as regards the 'how tos' of it all.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Nah they can pull in girls easily. They just get a bit disoriented in the club environment especially the dance floor. Who goes where? Who stays here? Who goes for this? What does this mean? How do you interact "appropriately"? I'm going here, where are you going? They just disperse and look confused in the end. It shouldn't be like that. They work much better in pubs and can outscore me any time in there. Next time we go out to a club though we'll talk about a game plan
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
What you lack is leadership. Somebody has to call the shots. A pack of hunters cannot be a democracy. Either you step up or tell someone else to do it.
Spammer Spanker
Yes, and take that just one tiny step further.. "Selective/Rotating Leadership"
One night you're the captain, some other night, someone else gets to be captain.. But there's always one leader.. no matter who is captain, there's one guy who isn't actually calling the shots, but is just helping the group of guys not get lost, stay together, keep strong teamwork going, and avoid ego-drama..
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.
It's so tribal. You guys should get matching jackets. I'll bet chicks would dig that.
Spammer Spanker
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
Yeah.. the darker the colors, the higher the rank.. for the guy holding the Yellow stick, girls can have sex with him, give him a blowjob, or a handjob.. but in either case, he has to go down on them..
Red: Can have sex with him, a blowjob, or a handjob, but he doesn't have to go down on them..
Green: Can have sex with him, or give him a blowjob..
Blue: Can only give him a blowjob, after all other guys have received blowjobs and have all approved of her skills.. If even one guy doesn't approve, she can't enjoy the sacred privilege of sucking on his manhood..
Sorry, but this tribe has strict rules
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.
Just had to throw my two cents in on this misguided bit of insight. Guys ALSO like to assume that girls that say this are just saying it to mask an alternate purpose.....but honestly, those guys are just fooling themselves.
This is actually a pet peeve of mine. Mostly because I actually go to clubs just to dance (with my girlfriends). Why? Because I like dancing. I like music. And it doesn't hurt to occasionally have a drink in your hand while you do it.
I do not want or desire male attention at the club, although I get it and it's expected but not welcome. I'm a decently attractive person, and I know that, so I don't need a guy's attention to validate me, thanks. Nor do I need his hands popping up on my ass/hips, stomach/chest while I'm dancing. Indeed he will likely get a bad reaction from me. I don't mind dancing with a guy as long as he's acting decent, we're just having fun, and he's not trying to be sexual about it. I apologize to all those small minded men out there that think my being at a club and dancing means that I'm putting myself out there for them or being a 'tease'. But guys will tell themselves anything to make themselves not feel 'rejected'.....including putting down girls in the club that didn't respond to their cheesy come-ons.
Last edited by bluesummer; 19-03-08 at 04:38 PM.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi
I agree with you Blue, though I just wanted to add to this that clubs are not really made for that purpose. Look at it through the prism of purpose and all the social intricacies attached to the idea of clubbing. Modern clubs are anything but the place to come to with just to dance as the end in mind. It's primarily (above all else) is a place of revenue. Primary revenue being sale of intoxication (this is why one drink will cost you the same amount as four same drinks in the bottle shop). Why do girls have an easier time getting into a club than guys? Because they are the main attraction. It's expected that girls are coming in to these places (Some of which have degenerated into complete slime pits) to get hit on by guys, guys being secondary source of revenue (which is why it's not out of the ordinary that they pay double what girls pay for the entry). Why is the security so lax kicking these grubby guys out? Because they don't want to loose these valuable customers to the competition which are racing to the bottom. It's like coming to a strip club and being offended by the naked women and their degradation.
Honestly, I don't understand how can anyone come to a club (at least the ones that I've been to and bearing above in mind) with expectation just to dance. If you wants just to dance there are so many other places which cater for that one particular purpose. Clubs are not such places. They are there to cater for a host of other human activities, one of which in this mix happens to be dancing.
I well and truly and honestly recommend for anyone who wants to just to dance and nothing else to stay away from clubs most of which are sleaze pits operating by the laws of the jungle.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
I'm with bluesummer on this one. The "purpose" of the club has nothing to do with social interaction. It is purely to make money. I agree that (for males) the main attraction is women, but the reason men pay more to get in is to compensate for the fact that many women really ARE just there to dance, and therefore will not be purchasing much alcohol. MALES are the primary source of revenue.
Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?
Well, my favorite music to dance to is hip hop/R&B. How many places do you know play this kind of music, strictly for dancing to? If there's an alternate venue I'm not aware of (besides concerts - and I DO go to those too), I sure wish someone would tell me, because I'd personally rather not go to a club.
As for the revenue argument, I agree with Vash that men are the primary source of revenue. Think about it. They pay higher cover, they drink more, and they usually spend money buying drinks for their intended female target(s).
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi