Help me with starting a relationship.

[Maxx2008]

Hi, this is my first thread here.

I'm 18. I've been seeing this really good looking girl around college and I'd like to get to know her and ask her out. I think she's 16. I've never spoken to her and I rarely even see her. When I do, sometimes she's surrounded by a horde of guys trying to impress her or something. Yes, she's quite attractive, beautiful face and curly blond hair (I'm a sucker for that). Usually beautiful girls have boyfriends, and I'd really like to find out if she has one too. How exactly do I do that? I'm thinking that a more direct approach might work for this, because, well I'm not trying to brag but, I'm a really good looking guy. Fairly tall, a bit thin, tanned, dark eyes and hair, wear a pinstripe suit and sunglasses (if it's sunny), have a car. Basically all girls I know have been telling me that I look great, flirting with me etc.

I'm thinking maybe I should just say "hi", introduce myself, talk to her a bit, say that I like her and jokingly ask if she has a boyfriend. I'm thinking that if it's jokingly it shouldn't feel awkward (some girls I know do that to me all the time).

So yeah, if she doesn't have one it should be no problem for me to start a relationship with her. I just need to find out if she has one or not. Should I ask her friends? I think girls might lie to me and tell me that she has a boyfriend, because they might want to go out with me. And boys would also lie to me and tell me she has one, because they would want me out of their way!

This is so weird, help me please...

[lastwish]

You can start a casual conversation with her and gently lead it to answer you on whether she has a boyfriend or not. If you ask her directly if she has a boyfriend, a girl will feel threatened. Like if you guys are talking about going to the movies and a movie she likes to watch, you can say something like "ya, that sounds like a really good movie, you should ask your boyfriend to go with you". And if she doesn't have a boyfriend she will probably giggle and say "oh, I don't have a boyfriend".

[Maxx2008]

Good idea, thanks.

Other ideas are welcomed too, though!

[gartlas]

hmm confidence can be just as alluring as subtlety, perhaps a more direct approach is necessary -it depends what kind of person is she ? super confident and flirty or really shy? if she's shy do what lastwish said - if not then go for the bolder approach - and remeber to smile ,not squirm =p.it sounds like you don't know her very well anyways - maybe become a good friend first?

[Maxx2008]

I don't know her at all. I think she might be a bit shy and she's doesn't seem very talkative.

[blues414]

well you should try talking to her first about random things, dont just go straight into the "wanna hang out" she may just think you are like all the rest of the guys trying to impress her and she wont understand that you genuinely lihe her.

[ExpoNovak]

Call me crazy, but with girls like that honesty is the key. You have GOT to get her attention and make her remember you. She is surrounded by guys on a daily basis who are each and every one trying to talk to her, get to know her, gradually slip in that they are interested, find out if she has a boyfriend, etc.

You do not have time to wait for them to beat you at this since someone else has probably been at it for longer. Since you are attractive yourself, you have an advantage.

Wait until she is alone, walk up to her, introduce yourself and tell her that you've seen her around campus and while you would have liked to take a more subtle approach you've seen the guys around her and figure that time is not your friend. Tell her that if she doesn't have a boyfriend, you'd love to take her out sometime to just have some fun, no strings attached. Be as COCKY and CONFIDENT as you possibly can or this will not work. See it as a business proposal and you are a top-notch salesman. You're selling yourself, of course.

You know what, come to think of it, I don't think I'd even ask if she had a boyfriend, just offer to take her out. If she has a boyfriend and isn't interested, she'll just say "I have a boyfriend, sorry." But you never know. She might have a boyfriend she's looking to replace and you want to give her the opportunity to do that, don't you?

Best of luck.

[Maxx2008]

Thanks, and especially thanks to ExpoNovak. If I see her alone tomorrow, I'm definitely approaching her. I think my chances of succeeding are about 100% if she doesn't have a boyfriend. All girls like me, why shouldn't she, eh?

[Jennifyr]

I think maybe you should get to know her before you ask if she has a bf. If you just suddenly start asking/joking with her about a bf, it could be awkward and possibly turn her off.

[Maxx2008]

I'm not going to mention anything about a boyfriend.

[Maxx2008]

Ooh, got some new info. Turns out my best friend grew up with her in the same neighborhood. He said she used to be a nice girl but is a complete bitch now. Also she started dating some guy not long ago. He said she's totally not worth it and that she already broke some guys' hearts.

Now, he's my best friend so I trust everything he says (or most of it anyway) so I'm sure he's not lying.

What do you think I should do? I think I'll just forget about her. Though if I see her staring at me I'll probably ask her out to see if she'll mention anything about a boyfriend. If she's a bitch she probably won't. However she won't know that I know about him. This should be interesting...

[enterprise]

What do you think I should do? I think I'll just forget about her. Though if I see her staring at me I'll probably ask her out to see if she'll mention anything about a boyfriend. If she's a bitch she probably won't. However she won't know that I know about him. This should be interesting...

I think you should forget about her and possibly try to avoid that last part because, well, it just isn't nice.

[Maxx2008]

I suppose you're right.