i have no one else to talk to right now..

[LostNotFound]

after a party the other night my s.o dropped me home and this was the first time he'd seen my house.

then a few days ago he says 'you have a big house' (in comparison to his). and i was like 'erm ok?'.

in our culture its normal for my parents to introduce/suggest guys they think are 'suitable for marriage'.

then he says 'when your parents show you those guys (the ones i mentioned above), don't be taken by the smoke and lights. i know you're gona be leaving a lot but ye..'


and i was like what the hek? then we talked for a bit and he was basically suggesting that he doesn't want me to fall for 'guys' who have money because he doesn't have much, or guys with materialistic things.

i was really hurt that he would doubt me. he's never really had a lot but i wouldn't want anything from him.

i had no one to tell and i needed to get this of my chest so there.

[Gigabitch]

Doesn't he plan to make a successful life for himself? Is he actually planning to be broke when he's 30?

[lastwish]

It's insecurity. Many guys are insecure. They are always trying to look at the materialistic aspect of why you would stay with him. It doesn't strike them that you might just like him as a person. Sigh.....

[LostNotFound]

i posted a thread on this once before. he's a work-a-holic. he works really hard.but we're just students. i don't expect big marvellous things from him now. one day yeh maybe but at least then we've done it together.

all these worries. sometimes i think we're growing up so fast being worried about these kinda things.

i really wish i could just kidnap him and move far away to a hot country.

[Gigabitch]

One of my best fiends is married to a guy from London. She says he has a really hard time leaving behind his class-related prejudices. Apparently, Brits are more concerned about this stuff than we Americans are. Do you think it's possible he thinks you're out of his league or something?

[LostNotFound]

It's insecurity. Many guys are insecure. They are always trying to look at the materialistic aspect of why you would stay with him. It doesn't strike them that you might just like him as a person. Sigh.....

exactly! i love him. i didn't know about his life style and financial situation hen i met him.

giga, i think he thinks that he has to impress me even more because i was outa his league, and also because he's really ambitious. he always says i'm gona be someone. i'm not just a regular guy.

and i really would marry him and move in with his parents if thats what it took, but he wants to able to show my parents that he can give them the same lifestyle they gave me.


and i don't want him to be under so much pressure, and be working all the time, and lose sleep over this.

[vashti]

I think perhaps is is imagining how he believes your parents (and your affluent friends, relatives, etc) will see this relationship, and let's be honest: he is probably right. Socioeconomic class differences are pretty tough to negotiate. Just be sweet and reassuring. There isn't much else you CAN do.

[Junket]

My girlfriend makes more than twice what I make, and I'm a jerk sometimes.

But I have enough sweetness/orgasms for her, to make up for it.

[DoesntMatter]

He is justified in having doubts. When relationships amount to something slightly more than sex (aka post-college) this is what a lot of women do, they prefer the rich guys. Of course he is going to judge you based on this to some degree

[blues414]

just let him know that you don't expect fancy big things from him. that you are with him simply because you enjoy being with him. and that he shouldn't doubt you on something like that because you've never thrown money in his face before.